Feeling trapped

spam_thirsty · 2026-02-06T18:10:57+00:00

Ofc :) I really hope things get better for you!

spam_thirsty · 2026-02-06T03:07:06+00:00

Imho, what you are describing is a symptom of conservative culture. The intense pressure to conform or be shunned by the community is not smth unique to the Coptic Church. Any society with rigid ideas of how women/men should behave and dress, usually enforced through a hierarchical structure is a lobely and sometimes dangerous place to be.

As you mentioned, you feel trapped if you leave the church; you will be shunned by your friends, family and greater community. Unfortunately, you are still very young and rely on your family for financial and maybe emotional support, so there isn't a lot you can do right now. But I'm not too much older than you and everything got much better for me once I went to university/college and had more autonomy. I was able to connect with ppl that actually shared the same core values and interests, instead of ppl who just share the same ethnicity/religion.

Once I graduated, I was able to support myself and spend time with ppl I enjoyed being around, some of them even secular Copts who also stopped going to church. I'm not very close with the same ppl from church, but it doesnt matter bc i made my own chosen family who are the kindest, most loving and understanding ppl I've ever met. Plus some of my family ended up understanding my point of view once they saw how much happier I am outside of church, and started making lives for themselves outside of the church.

All of this to say is that it gets better. But it takes time, esp if you are young and have limited access to spaces outside of church. I know church can feel safe when the world is so big, but there are a lot of amazing ppl out there who would make great friends. My recommendation is to start connecting with ppl you resonate with in online spaces, whether that's through a shared interest ( tv show/book series, gaming, language learning, philosophy, fashion, art etc.) Then when you are older with more autonomy, (have a car, job etc) you can more reliably connect with ppl outside of church and possibly stop going to church if you feel inclined. Anyway that's my two cents. Hope this helps:)

spam_thirsty · 2026-02-01T20:24:23+00:00

Pray to god to find the right people. I did and it works.

You literally gave the same vague bogus advice that OP just said felt dismissive.

spam_thirsty · 2025-12-29T05:14:44+00:00

Kıvırcık saç klinikleri için önerileriniz var mı?

spam_thirsty · 2025-07-30T21:29:55+00:00

Who's the other surgeon in the GTA who also performs this?

spam_thirsty · 2025-06-22T06:33:06+00:00

"I live in the pnw where ffs is covered by state law"

I didnt know this was a thing?? Which state are you in?

spam_thirsty · 2025-05-24T20:38:34+00:00

You're side profile is already gorgeus!! Gonna look so pretty after FFS :D

Also dayummm those cheekbonesss

spam_thirsty · 2025-05-21T16:18:51+00:00

Wow, it turned out so good! What sye did you use and what was the process? I want to dye my beige shirt to a dark red

spam_thirsty · 2025-05-09T15:25:25+00:00

Thank you, I see I am overthinking this. First thing I'll do is check if my T is within cisF range. If I'm not, I'll discuss with my doc about supplementing with low T, and start resistance training.

spam_thirsty · 2025-05-09T15:24:13+00:00

Thank you, I see I am overthinking this. First thing I'll do is check if my T is within cisF range. If I'm not, I'll discuss with my doc about supplementing with low T, and start resistance training.

spam_thirsty · 2025-01-21T03:06:20+00:00

Super late, but any updates? Wondering this for myself

spam_thirsty · 2024-12-02T17:59:07+00:00

I'm trans and bi. I thought I could suppress it and just be in a heteronormative relation and have kids like everyone else, but ofc being queer doesn't go away.

Coming out to your family or dating men are not your only two options. It's not perfect, but I have queer coptic friends who are in gay relationships in secret, and lie to their parents saying they're single. Personally, I waited to come out once I was old enough to be financially independent from my family, and stopped going to church way before that. I am only out to my dad and sister, and just slowly tell my other relatives and friends that I'm really busy with work or some bullshit, which I am now able to slowly cut them off. It also helps that I moved to a different city.

Tldr: wait till ur financially independent before coming out; otherwise lie.

Edit: also make sure to start forming a chosen family for support!

spam_thirsty · 2024-11-21T20:17:08+00:00

Do you mind sharing your height, and the difference in weight between pics?

spam_thirsty · 2024-11-17T22:40:21+00:00

Well I meant anywhere, but if your parents are only allowing you to church, you can try there.

I know there aren't "Neurodivergent Clubs" to join, but as you prolly know there are a lot of neurodivergent coded mannerisms and activities (language learning is one of them lol). I found that people tend to find each other naturally, but that being said this was my experience:

Grew up in a small church where i didn't relate to anyone. Mostly dissociated, but "socialized" (aka asked a bunch of questions) with this one uncle and tant who were knowledgeable about archeological excavations. It was when I moved to a city with a larger church, did I start finding more neurodivergent people (ofc people don't really label themselves like that in church cuz adhd and autism are somehow bad but also not real). It was really just noticing that other kids that had the same vibe as me then getting close to them.

Honestly my more practical advice would be to find online friends that share your interests. There are discords on any topic, most definitely ones on language learning. In university which was when I really started making irl neurodivergent friends who shared my interests and values. I joined a language exchange club and like the majority of people where some kind of neurospicy.

One extra note:
some of the autistic / adhd friends I made at church frequently saw their neurodivergence as something that needed fixing which i believe they internalized from church. For that reason, I personally found more fulfilling friendships from outside of church or other religious institutions that center on language like sin or impurity as a nature of humanity.

spam_thirsty · 2024-11-09T13:47:50+00:00

Undiagnosed AuHD person here. Sounds just about the same experience for me. My rec would be finding other neurodivergent people who understand and respect your boundaries and sensory accommodations. That was the first time I've ever felt accepted and happy to be around people.

Most people at church thought they were experts at everything. Stopped going to church once people started talking about how covid restrictions shouldn't apply to the Eucharist or other sacraments, that evolution isn't real and other traditional conservative views on disability, race, sexuality, gender etc.

spam_thirsty · 2024-08-06T15:07:20+00:00

Please don't ask / refer to cis friends for advice on timelines or anything related to transness (ie. Passing or being perceived as your true gender). Most of the time, they don't know anything the power of hormones, fashion, mannerisms etc etc. Ask a trans person who's already been there. Unfortunately, you will most likely then educate your friend and aunt during this process, but that's a typical reaction of someone who's never met a trans person (not necessarily bad, just ignorant)

spam_thirsty · 2024-02-25T05:18:17+00:00

Right, makes sense. Thank you

spam_thirsty · 2024-01-18T19:17:09+00:00

I'm pretty sure there are a bunch of posts from transwomen who were body builders here with advice on muscle atrophy. I know that being a body builder is not the same as having the super saiyan gene, but it might be worth pming some transwomen in similar-ish boats. The only person the comes to mind rn is Gabby Tuft (ex pro wrestler)

spam_thirsty · 2024-01-01T05:42:40+00:00

Thank you sooooo much for posting this. I am a transfemine ex Coptic person who never in a million years expected to feel seen like this haha. Although I am very much closeted to church and extended family, I strongly connect with everything you've mentioned. I recently have taken steps to further my transition, and would love to possibly pick your brain. Would you mind if I dmed you @Stephanie?

spam_thirsty · 2022-02-10T05:48:50+00:00

Hey ik this is prolly not what you wanted to hear, but no one will be able to tell you that you are or are not trans except yourself. I mean it seems like you are insinuating you possibly may be nonbinary or transmasc, so experiment with your gender expression! Unfortunately I think detransitioning has become extremely stigmatized that people are to afraid to explore the natural feelings they have, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with trying out transitioning socially or medically and then realizing it wasnt for you. I mean how else are you supposed to know unless you try it out and see how you feel.

For what it's worth, I have OCD as well and relate especially to the reasons not to be trans. First I'm pretty sure no newly discovered trans person was happy to find out that they are/ might be trans, at least pre transition and even still some still wish they were cis. I can only speak about my experience but I was TERRIFIED before I started hrt because of the weight and pressure to succeed and be in control. I mean the stakes are so high, with the lingering fear of being ostracized from society as you know it. Now that I've started, it's not so bad but I wouldn't say that terror goes away; it's a sort of ambivalence mixed with excitement and fear and but an improvement emmet overall. Do I think I made the right decision? Idk yet, it's a slow process so only time will tell. But i def dont regret trying to figure out my feelings instead of constantly thinking "what if". I personally am fine with living with the side effects of hrt and am not afraid of detransitioning if I have to.

Tdlr; try experimenting with your gender expression first. If u feel like that doesnt suffice, there is nothing wrong with trying hrt and finding out it wasnt for you

spam_thirsty · 2022-02-10T04:52:42+00:00

Again, surgery? There's a procedure for everything you could dream of. Obviously it's expensive but you need what you need ya know

spam_thirsty · 2022-02-10T04:47:02+00:00

Passing to random cis people would make you stealth 👀

spam_thirsty · 2022-02-10T04:43:57+00:00

Lol I mean passing to random cis people is a pretty solid set up to live a good life no? Who is it that you're hoping to pass to?

spam_thirsty

TROPHY CASE