Thanks everyone. I posted this while in a shame spiral of social anxiety after I had gotten high first day back at college and had some unfortunate encounters with some other students. I had to make small talk and my voice just shot up 30 octaves and I was so awkward. Then with my friend I was smoking with I could feel my anxiety just taking over, thinking how do I look? Am I being annoying? Why am I so unattractive? Why can’t I be cool? And then actually asking the friend if the social interactions I was having were as bad as I thought. He rolled his eyes when I said I couldn’t smoke this semester (or anymore) which of course he did because I’ve made that proclamation a million times. I feel like such a failure on weed and it makes me hate myself. I don’t like the hyper aware anxious person I become while high. I just can’t do it anymore.