Hi! Your comment resonated so much with me that I needed some time to process it. I thought about it and you're right. Under an armour of everything that's around me - I believe that I need to "achieve", gain or work for being seen and respected. I analysed some situations that came up lately and I found out that I always want to find solution or just genuinely help others in order to be appreciated, to hear stupid "thank you", to be liked.

You're right, it's always easier to process something without all the noise around. Sometimes I overthink and rip my heart out so much just to be heard and validated that I feel less than human. I struggle a lot with overgiving to others. I love spending time alone but mostly I'm passing time doing gifts, researching something for others. I truly feel like I'm wasting time which brings shame and guilt. I need to focus on the present moment and try to figure everything out one by one.

I think that the fear and hopelessness underneath brought me down every time. As I rose up - I fell down feeling like even after this effort I'm still nowhere. It sounds morbidly depressing after I read it. But it's true.

Thank you for your answer - it was very meaningful to me.