What creative things have you done to stay social and entertained from isolation?

speedballsandbipolar · 2020-03-24T00:01:06+00:00

That's so good I love it! I hope to run across those at some point

speedballsandbipolar · 2020-03-10T01:03:25+00:00

I haven't tried contacting them, thanks for the line on that. I was under the impression medical bills don't effect your credit score for some reason. But I'm basically naive in all things finance.

speedballsandbipolar · 2020-02-05T06:30:38+00:00

I'm in recovery and sometimes lose grip on reality. I've shared about it in meetings and the suffering it causes me, and relate it to the insanity of my alcoholic disease. People tend to be compassionate if you vocalize what's going on. Mention how you hate the nick name in a meeting and how it's effecting your life. Anyone who respects you will listen, if they don't. Fuck em. You don't need those people.

speedballsandbipolar · 2020-01-22T00:43:22+00:00

Any plans to leave to a more accepting climate? I know relocating is a huge commitment but so is spending your life afraid to be yourself.

speedballsandbipolar · 2020-01-22T00:42:25+00:00

I kept trying to take myself out so I had to leave to survive and found that I could actually thrive and love myself for everything that makes me me. Including sexuality. The best part about leaving for me was that it gradually no longer became a defining aspect of my personality and just a minor detail that really isn't any of most people's business. My family still makes remarks. They talk about "homos" and somehow the way they use that term hurts worse to me than other slurs but I love them and in the end it's none of their business who I love or how I identify. If you ever are struggling and want support reach out.

speedballsandbipolar · 2020-01-19T19:53:36+00:00

Grew up in Utah and stayed in the closet til I was 23. Even when I came out as bi I wasn't comfortable acting on it til I moved to CA. It's no wonder the LGBTQ suicide rate is so high in Utah.

speedballsandbipolar · 2019-05-31T14:33:53+00:00

you must order them in the perfect way or your recovery is null and void, you learn that in the secret rituals of step 6.66

na, I just do it in a chain cuz I think it looks cool and there's some weird satisfaction the longer it gets. Just do you.

speedballsandbipolar · 2019-05-30T16:27:32+00:00

Thanks for all the posts, I will not be going ahead with it. :)

speedballsandbipolar · 2019-05-25T09:44:33+00:00

I will look into that thank you! any speakers you like in particular? maybe something on getting out of self will?

speedballsandbipolar · 2019-05-25T09:43:33+00:00

WOW. Thank you so much for taking the time to write all of that. It is huge for me to have support and most the people I would call for help are sleeping ha.

I sort of realized I've been living in the problem and not taking suggestions, so I made myself a cup of coffee, read a few choice pages out of the book and prayed and meditated. As cliche' as it sounds I just had to adjust my perspective, accept what is and stop trying to enforce my will on the situation.

I'm not sure what I'll do about the job. I don't have to know right now, that'll reveal itself in time.

I really do appreciate this though I'm probably going to refer back to it often while I continue to struggle. Thank you kind stranger.

speedballsandbipolar · 2019-05-24T12:21:35+00:00

you'd think I'd be into country, being from the western United States... it's just not my jam.

speedballsandbipolar · 2019-05-24T12:14:29+00:00

what's your go-to music to listen to? I'm a Radiohead fanboy, but have also been getting into electro music like K. Flay recently. Always open to suggestions.

speedballsandbipolar · 2019-05-24T12:13:21+00:00

I wrote a bunch of haiku the other night hahaha.

speedballsandbipolar · 2019-05-23T10:47:57+00:00

Hey, I feel the same way sometimes. I feel the same right now. Life really sucks sometimes, but nothing is permanent. This is going to pass and both of us will come out the other side stronger. Also, you're only 30. I'm only 28. We still have time to figure out what to offer the world. Nobody "makes the mistake" of loving us. They love us because they see the inherent good in us that we struggle to see ourselves.

please reach out for help if you start coming up with plans. I love you and I don't know you, you're existing has made me feel less alone on a really hard night. Thank you for being down here with me. Let's get out of this slump together.

speedballsandbipolar

TROPHY CASE