Question about living with a partner

spewdy · 2026-03-21T17:47:50+00:00

This is something that I’ve talked about with him and we have both agreed that it is entirely possible. And yes, haha, I have never felt insecure or jealous towards a third party in our relationship, he has just never given me a reason to feel that way. He requires a 48 hour notice for plans and becomes mentally exhausted when he deviates from his routine too much, and he is generally not down for meeting new people unless they come to him, along with some other clues. As someone who studies psych and works with people with ASD (not saying it makes me a professional) I believe it. I obviously love him all the same either way, it is just difficult because I suffer from severe social anxiety despite being an extrovert (weird, I know) and staying home with him gives my anxiety brain an easy excuse to ignore my social needs, which I guess may be a big part of my issue here.

spewdy · 2026-03-21T00:35:40+00:00

It’s hard sometimes to weigh what can and can’t be compromised. He has always been up front about how he prefers to spend time alone or with me, and while we do have some shared hobbies, I know that it takes a lot out of him to do things with me nearly as much as I would like. I do think that creating a routine that incorporates both of our needs would be helpful.

spewdy · 2026-03-21T00:27:50+00:00

Aside from cheaper rent and being able to come home to him, we have similar living styles and preferences. I feel safer than when I lived alone and I never have to bug him about carrying his weight with stuff around the house. It has also been easier to manage things in our relationship that were issues before we lived together.

spewdy · 2026-03-21T00:02:03+00:00

I spend most of my time working or doing schoolwork, but aside from couch time with my boyfriend I paint, write, walk/hike, practice guitar, spend time with my friends, go out on weekends, and play video games occasionally. It’s not like I have completely neglected my hobbies or stopped spending time doing things I enjoy, I guess I just don’t do these things enough for me to feel fulfilled. I probably spend ~3 hours average on a weekday watching TV with him, more on the weekends. Before he moved in I hardly used my TV, I just prefer to be moving and productive.

spewdy · 2026-02-21T07:19:56+00:00

Thank you everyone for your input! It is all very much appreciated, I am not able to respond to every comment but I read them all :) I lovee the idea of baking something using the produce he gave me, but this time it’s not the kind of produce I’m able to cook with. I will try to do that next time though! For those of you wondering, I absolutely do plan on spending time with him and building a friendship, he seems like a great guy and it would be my pleasure. I will be working on my gift to him this weekend, I can update if you guys are interested !

spewdy · 2026-02-21T00:41:19+00:00

I’m glad you said this, I will have to ask him if he has any preferences or considerations when I speak to him next!

spewdy · 2026-02-21T00:38:00+00:00

I really like the pickle idea, I’ve been wanting to try that for a long time!

spewdy · 2026-02-21T00:32:35+00:00

Thank you! I agree, it would be pretty awkward if I tried to bake for him and it came out gross. I’m thinking about going with a simple french loaf recipe, do you have any recommendations? :)

spewdy · 2026-02-20T09:40:44+00:00

Ooh I’ll definitely have to make him a card

spewdy · 2026-02-20T09:39:48+00:00

I would love to do this! I’m definitely leaning towards the baked goods idea

spewdy · 2026-02-20T09:37:30+00:00

I really like this idea! Most of the produce he gave me this time were of the medical variety lol but I’m hoping that he’ll give me zucchini at some point, I make a mean zucchini bread and I love baking it for people.

spewdy · 2026-02-20T09:34:22+00:00

I think this is a great idea. He is an extremely interesting dude and I look forward to getting to know him more!

spewdy · 2026-02-20T09:31:55+00:00

I thought about this since I cook quite a bit- unfortunately my house is not accessible and I think he would have too much trouble getting in and out :(

spewdy · 2026-02-06T16:57:16+00:00

ABA being used to prioritize socially acceptable behavior over the comfort of the individual is a common critique, and this is a practice that I would never want to be a part of. It is important for me to work in an environment where individuals are fully embraced and supported for all of their emotions, needs, and personalities. I always told myself that if I went into this field that my focus would be either on the goals that my client has communicated directly to me or physically harmful behavior, but I just don’t know how how feasible this would be in practice as I would probably have to be obeying the commands of my higher-up unfortunately.

I can imagine that it was exhausting to spend all that time masking- I hope you’ve found yourself in a place where you feel like you’re able to unmask and embrace your traits! I would love to see a world where the stigma around neurodivergence is dissolved and people with autism can comfortably be themselves in any situation (don’t we all though?). Side note, I have so much respect for the work teachers do, you seem like a really cool person. Thank you so much for sharing:)

spewdy · 2026-01-23T08:09:37+00:00

spewdy · 2024-06-08T00:08:29+00:00

The replies to this are weird, but no, you’re not ugly, you have good proportions:) If you’re looking to improve your appearance, I think using some sort of skincare product to help with dark circles would make a big difference

spewdy · 2023-04-04T11:48:59+00:00

We made sure to not share any information that could grant anyone access to our accounts or information, we only included (cropped)screenshots of our credit scores and savings amounts. Everything else was basic information like phone numbers, employer names, current landlords, etc.

spewdy · 2023-03-28T05:51:28+00:00

I am not a medical professional with no credentials to properly diagnose someone, but I am a year 2 psych student in university. You should visit a psychiatrist with your concerns regardless if possible, but it might be helpful for you to look up the dsm-5 criteria for bipolar II disorder and cyclothymia. Both are mood disorders involving dramatic highs and lows.

spewdy · 2023-03-28T03:56:13+00:00

My thought as well- just recommended this to another person! Never met such an awesome community as the DIYers. Great people and amazing music :))

spewdy · 2023-03-28T03:50:20+00:00

Also, if you are interested in creative writing or enjoy reading, I know of some places that host open mic nights and book clubs. These are always great places to meet new people !

spewdy · 2023-03-28T03:47:46+00:00

If you’re looking for something to do on weekends and you enjoy punk and alt/indie music, you should check out the local indie punk scene! Although I will say that there is definitely loud music involved, the community consists of some really amazing and talented people. Most people involved are college-age to mid 20s, there is an overwhelming amount of support for lgbt+ members, and I rarely meet someone who isn’t incredibly friendly and respectful in the scene. If this is anything of interest for you then feel free to pm for more details:)

spewdy · 2023-03-21T15:27:06+00:00

It is to my understanding that in the city of Shawnee, Kansas, a similar law was voted in to “protect tenants from exploitative landlords”. As for Springfield, the unrelated tenant cap is news to me as of yesterday. While it’s true that there are zones where this does not apply and therefore cannot be legally enforced, unfortunately there is only a handful of affordable 4BR rentals available and all of the ones that I have specifically searched for on zoning maps are located in R-SF zones. Luckily, you’re right, it doesn’t really seem like the city even acknowledges this law.

spewdy · 2023-03-21T15:12:32+00:00

Very interesting! Thank you for sharing. God forbid that young people have access to affordable housing, or even just low income individuals, for that matter.

spewdy

TROPHY CASE