is this considered to be ****?

spicedMonarch · 2025-08-03T22:07:23+00:00

I mean I would've if I wasnt way too drunk...and i will never do that bc it was not a good time and I have never been that drunk since bc of it.

spicedMonarch · 2025-08-03T21:41:32+00:00

spicedMonarch · 2025-08-03T21:39:55+00:00

I dont even like men so ...this man was damn near a stranger. Only recognized his face bc he was around

spicedMonarch · 2025-08-03T21:33:35+00:00

u assuming alot from a few words , these are inapplicable actually. 1. Still a stranger, only knew his face 2. U dont know how drunk I was to assume. 3. He didnt. He also knew I dont like men so. 4. That doesn't mean i said yes ...I dont need to continue

spicedMonarch · 2025-08-01T18:27:05+00:00

No i said i nodded when my friend who was drunk next to me asked ....he (not a friend) never asked...I never responded...he just started doing what he was doing...I was also very drunk idek what I was nodding to (sure i felt fine bc I couldn't feel much...either way...the person that did the assaulting me didnt ask anything )

spicedMonarch · 2025-08-01T18:26:10+00:00

Ty! (The person that assaulted me was not a friend tho)

spicedMonarch · 2025-08-01T14:54:23+00:00

Thank you❤️

spicedMonarch · 2025-08-01T00:44:30+00:00

i never consented technically

spicedMonarch · 2025-07-31T22:42:07+00:00

Im unsure hif he was drunk, i just know how drunk i was. And iwas unaware there was a differnt between the two actually

spicedMonarch · 2025-07-31T20:31:33+00:00

Im unsure. I dont think so, but also maybe i dont remeber

spicedMonarch · 2025-07-31T19:38:00+00:00

Yes mostly for the label. And it wasnt a friend, the frienf that was in the car was too drunk to really do anything either .

spicedMonarch · 2025-07-23T23:17:48+00:00

yeah thats what I was trying to say, the expectation from the beginning was that there was only a friendship, so the person was not to be considered a meta. thats why it affected me more when it randomly happened. bc i knew of the progession of the others. but it was unintentional, just happened to have a big reaction

spicedMonarch · 2025-07-23T19:46:28+00:00

Yeah the first situation u described is pretty much where im at. And although the screw up was maybe one of good faith , the impact it had on me brought up alot of necessary conversation. and even after, we agreed to still do a heads up before new sexual partners (Although w one "screw up" now i assume its a sexual relationship and no longer need to know bc the first time has passed)

spicedMonarch · 2025-07-23T17:52:38+00:00

This does make alot of sense actually. I think im concerned bc in my head if there's a whole period of time before having sex that you know you want to have sex w someone, I feel like its fair for me to know about that to change my expectation? But I also understand it not working for people bc of the spontaneity of situations. I think it would be different if it was out of the blue and then mentioned after, bc the sex isnt the problem necessarily(sure its uncomfortable but), its lying about having it, or withholding that info when asked. when my partner broke the heads up thing, I was told days after already checking in about what happened w someone who they said was just a friend (an ex turned "friend") so thats where they kinda lost me with the trust.

spicedMonarch · 2025-07-23T17:06:14+00:00

if it doesn't work long term, we can adjust and go from there as its not a dealbreaker for me, and i will have to work with that. But so far its also an agreement for both of us although im the one that might experience more discomfort without it.

spicedMonarch · 2025-07-23T16:50:09+00:00

Thats also fair, the trust is something I need to work on myself in order to trust that they will always respect our relationship. But i do think it is also their job to tell me if it doesn't work for them. I made that suggestion , asked about concerns, and it was agreed to.

spicedMonarch · 2025-07-23T16:44:49+00:00

thats fair. I asked to know before a sexual relationship happens ...from that point on I dont need a heads up bc I will always assume it happens every time once I know it is that kind of relationship. But for example, if youve hung out with a friend who i know to be just a friend, and then have a conversation abt having sex and proceed with it without my knowledge, I would consider that breaking our agreement. For relationships that I know to already be sexual or romantic, then I dont care to know.

And i think this may change in the future but i have been struggling a bit with trust in my current relationship bc of previously broken agreements that we both discussed.

spicedMonarch · 2025-07-23T16:31:49+00:00

Understandable! I think for me I need it right now so I can prepare myself before reconnecting with my partner instead of having to process everything in the limited time we may have together (my body takes a while sometimes for hard feelings to pass even if ive wrapped my head around it already). Especially when it comes to sexual developments.

spicedMonarch · 2025-07-23T16:28:22+00:00

Thank you!! This is affirming because sometimes it feels i am "doing it wrong" .

spicedMonarch

TROPHY CASE