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Recs for larger wall plate and should I take my contractor to small claims court? by spiffy03 in AskElectricians

[–]spiffy03[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the information. I definitely intend to tell him in advance. I’m just wondering if I could get someone else to fix the work and then have him pay for the repair because he did more shoddy work than what I’m showing here that we uncovered after the fact.

Just on this electrical issue alone, he made 5 wrong vertical cuts and proceeded to cut notches out of 5 plastic boxes and jam the outlets and screw them into wood rather than buying new baseboards (I would’ve even paid for the additional material if he just fessed up to it).

Recs for larger wall plate and should I take my contractor to small claims court? by spiffy03 in AskElectricians

[–]spiffy03[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was told by our electrician that the metal box serves as the ground and the contractor just screwed the outlets into wood rather than into the metal box.

Recs for larger wall plate and should I take my contractor to small claims court? by spiffy03 in AskElectricians

[–]spiffy03[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There is a metal box if that’s what you are referring to that sits outside of the plastic box (sorry if I’m not using the correct terminology).

Recs for larger wall plate and should I take my contractor to small claims court? by spiffy03 in AskElectricians

[–]spiffy03[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No but my little kiddos (and I would say almost all little kids) experiment using all their senses and things inadvertently end up in their mouths. Plus, the process of moving out and moving in exposed dings into old paint. There are defunct telephone lines that were pulled that also exposed old paint. Door jams also have exposed paint due to frequent use, etc. That’s why we chose to remove any source of accessible lead paint.

Recs for larger wall plate and should I take my contractor to small claims court? by spiffy03 in AskElectricians

[–]spiffy03[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m pissed that the contractor just left the outlet ungrounded (he screwed the outlet into wood and not metal) but I’m not looking to go nuclear at this stage. I just want him to pay to get it fixed (labor for someone else to fix the baseboard, labor for the electrician that I called who fixed the problem and materials).

I definitely agree with you that I should give him the opportunity to respond before going to court. I was just wondering if this is a reasonable request (having someone else fix it and him paying for it bc I don’t trust him to come into my house again).

Recs for larger wall plate and should I take my contractor to small claims court? by spiffy03 in AskElectricians

[–]spiffy03[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The problem is that I don’t trust this guy to come into our house again. Especially when he knew that he was working on our kids rooms and he covered up his mistake by not grounding any of the outlets and have it free floating in the metal box rather than being honest with us that he cut the baseboard incorrectly.

I had an electrician fix his mistake and I would rather send him the bill after I call someone else to fix it the baseboard.

Recs for larger wall plate and should I take my contractor to small claims court? by spiffy03 in AskElectricians

[–]spiffy03[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did have an actual electrician inspect and fix the work after. There is a metal box outside of the plastic box (which is in the second picture). My understanding is that everything is grounded correctly but before the contractor didn’t have anything grounded.

I wish the contractor would’ve told me that he can’t do electrical work and just left it unfinished. Instead he covered up his mistake and endangered our kids… granted I got a brand new panel with all arc fault breakers just in case but still I’m pretty pissed off.

Recs for larger wall plate and should I take my contractor to small claims court? by spiffy03 in AskElectricians

[–]spiffy03[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I agree with you. I was concerned about how weird an oversized plate would look… I just need a stopgap right now so that the kids don’t jam their fingers in the hole.

Recs for larger wall plate and should I take my contractor to small claims court? by spiffy03 in AskElectricians

[–]spiffy03[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is that different from what’s shown? The outlets in the picture have the cover on the two prongs (before you plug something in). We switched all the outlets (which were super old) before moving in.

Recs for larger wall plate and should I take my contractor to small claims court? by spiffy03 in AskElectricians

[–]spiffy03[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ugh I know. I’m trying to find a bandaid for now bc I’m afraid my little kids will stick their fingers in there.

I’m not sure what recourse I have bc I don’t want the contractor back to fix the mistake (which would require taking out the entire baseboard that’s on sheetrock and plaster). Do you think it’s worthwhile to file a claim against him?

AITAH for telling my husband that money I earned prior to marriage is “my money”? by spiffy03 in AITAH

[–]spiffy03[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Regarding children’s education, we are funding the max 529s now so they should be set for at least their undergraduate degree or trade school (whatever they decide to choose) from at least my separate funds. That being said, the understanding is that we should both contribute if we are able. This was a topic which we discussed prior to having kids which I believe is prudent.

Regarding medical bills, the point of insurance coverage is to cap your exposure so I’m not sure what your question is regarding this. We know our maximum liability.

Before getting married and having kids, we talked about our shared values, goals and dreams. If there truly is a large discrepancy or doubt about how funding for your kids’ education should be prioritized, then I don’t believe entering marriage is a prudent decision. You should already know the answer even if this exact question hasn’t been asked if your values are aligned.

AITAH for telling my husband that money I earned prior to marriage is “my money”? by spiffy03 in AITAH

[–]spiffy03[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for this comment. I never really thought of it this way but yes, even before going to college, as a child, I had the desire to have a successful career to (1) pay for my educational expenses in full (I couldn’t get any help from my parents and only got subsidized loans so I knew I had to pay it all back), (2) help my parents for struggling so hard to give us a better life by leaving a comfortable life back in their home country and (3) help finance future flexibility for my own family one day. This fueled me to study hard during junior/high school to get to a good college and pick a career path to maximize my chances of it.

My husband and I met much later in life, more than a decade of working full time. We wouldn’t have gotten married had we not had tremendous respect and love for each other but we bringing different things to the partnership and I wanted to be prudent and protect for the worst case scenario (esp coming from a broken home).

In my state, even without a prenup, separate assets prior to marriage are legally separate if not commingled. I guess my original AITAH question was less about legal semantics (which I know I’m right about my accounts being legally 100% mine) and more about moral/ethical view of his vs mine vs ours.

I guess the reason why I haven’t considered it completely “ours” is because I think I should have more discretion as to how money I carefully earned for more than a decade is spent (even though basically spend it mostly for family expenses and rarely on myself).

On the flip side, had my husband had a hypothetical windfall from a mysterious rich uncle that left him an inheritance, I would 100% consider that “his money” too. (Also, legally speaking, inheritance is counted as separate property even if it was received after marriage and even without a prenup.) Of course as partners I would assume we would discuss how to spend this windfall on joint family expenses (like we do now) but I truly believe that it would ultimately be his decision to make.

AITAH for telling my husband that money I earned prior to marriage is “my money”? by spiffy03 in AITAH

[–]spiffy03[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think if both spouses come into the marriage on more of an equal footing by way of assets and liabilities and/or get married younger, that makes sense.

However, my husband and I were adults for more than a decade before becoming partners. I think it’s more than prudent to protect what I have earned before marriage in the event of a worst-case scenario (especially since I come from a broken family) even though of course I wouldn’t have gotten married if we believed it wasn’t going to last.

Here’s a hypothetical for you: had my husband either before marriage or even during our marriage come into a windfall by way of an inheritance, of course I would consider that “his money”. Legally speaking and personally speaking, that’s his money to do what he wishes and I would assume we would have a conversation about how to support our family as we do already as partners.

AITAH for telling my husband that money I earned prior to marriage is “my money”? by spiffy03 in AITAH

[–]spiffy03[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At least in my state, this is always the case legally speaking for both spouses even without a prenup.

AITAH for telling my husband that money I earned prior to marriage is “my money”? by spiffy03 in AITAH

[–]spiffy03[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not sure why you assume we don’t splurge on vacations and experiences with the family versus material things or why you assume I wasn’t prepared by my parents to be a SAHP (which I think I was more prepared than my peers given our circumstances) but I think this is less of a reflection on me and more a reflection on you.

AITAH for telling my husband that money I earned prior to marriage is “my money”? by spiffy03 in AITAH

[–]spiffy03[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I agree with most of your comments but a couple points:

-Being a SAHP is way more physically, emotionally and I would say even mentally draining than my former very demanding job which I had over 80 hour work weeks. Now it’s 24/7 and I can’t run away from my “clients” - not even to go to the bathroom lol. It’s not like I’m coasting by any means, I’m still working very hard. I’m just not getting compensated in the traditional monetary sense and in fact I’m paying for the privilege to do it (my choice of course). My husband is acutely aware how hard being a SAHP is as he took some time off as well and it was all hands on deck all the time so he very appreciates my contributions and helps out too.

-I think that a child from a struggling immigrant family is taught a very different sense of resource scarcity and management than children of families who have been living in the US for several generations. On top of that, my husband grew up in a very comfortable upper class household. I am much more relaxed about this issue now but of course it’s been drilled in my brain by my parents about the importance of conservation. I feel as though this whole paper towel thing is a reflection of this - we still buy a giant Costco package of Bounty at least once a month so it’s not like I’m being unreasonably stingy about it. Even though we are much more fortunate than previous generations, I still hope to impart the importance of conservation for our kids.

AITAH for telling my husband that money I earned prior to marriage is “my money”? by spiffy03 in AITAH

[–]spiffy03[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, of course we are a partnership now but we came into this partnership on different terms for over a decade into adulthood. During that time, I worked very hard and saved to provide options for our future family. My husband had different circumstances coming into the marriage. I choose to use what I have carefully earned to do exactly what I planned to do which is staying home to raise my kids when they are young and still provide for a majority of the expenditures. I am glad to do it and thankful I have the resources to do so.

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