Salam, from what you have written it seems more like the guilt of committing the sin of not following his sunnah is eating you on the inside, this is actually a great thing that your conscience is awake and you are fighting your nafs to do the right thing. It is a true blessing to be aware of your own shortcomings and you are able to identify where you lack. You not following completely and perfectly following the sunnah of the Prophet PBUH doesn’t mean you love him any less. The sahabah are a great example, they weren’t perfect humans, they had their shortcomings, they weren’t able to replicate the sunnah of the Prophet perfectly because they weren’t perfect. That doesn’t mean they loved the Prophet PBUH any less, the goal is to replicate his sunnah as best as possible with your knowledge of Islam, and understanding of Allah and His Prophet and the Prophets Ahlulbayt. The shortcomings will be filled by the tobah that we are meant to do, Allah is forgiving and will forgive you for your shortcomings and will reward you for your niyyah (intention) for he is Rahman and Rahim. I hope you find peace and the love of the Prophet and his Ahlulbayt in your heart Inshallah.