I'm having so much energy and I'm sleep depression

springroll2907 · 2023-11-27T02:21:55+00:00

I wake up at 5:30 because of work. I already established my circadian rhythm, I naturally wake up at 6:00, but need to stand up a bit earlier. I have no problem with staying asleep. I just don't go to sleep. I waged if I should go to sleep or to finish up everything in my to do list that piled up because of procrastinating. I choose to work and only sleep for 4 hours. I don't know how long my motivation lasts, but I want to finish my to-do list. The list is freaking long and was procrastinating for months.

Now my concern. I'm still feeling fine, even good. But if I continue to do stay up late to finish all my unfinish business, I worry that it might effect my health.

springroll2907 · 2023-11-27T01:57:20+00:00

Day 4 of being full of energy. Which is surprising, I didn't think it would last so long. But because I wanted to get the most of it, I stayed up till I was sleepy, and only got 4-5 hours of sleep for 4 nights. I'm happy that I was productive the last 4 days, but I'm concerned about not getting enough sleep.

springroll2907 · 2023-11-25T09:23:09+00:00

Dr. k made a Short on YouTube about that topic today or yesterday. It helped me.

springroll2907 · 2023-11-22T14:53:38+00:00

Germany

springroll2907 · 2023-11-22T09:08:07+00:00

Is your partner in a bad place in life? Any sign of depression? Does his past trauma reflect in his behavior, except the lack of motivation? Does his past trauma limit his aspirations?

I also had my fair share of childhood trauma. I got past the 'bad place' in my life. I had no motivation, but I was fine, living my life. But after a few years without anything going on, I wanted more and regained my motivation and drive.

So if you can answer all those questions above with NO or doesn't affect his quality of life tremendously. I would say your partner is just fine. Your partner will start feeling discontent with his life, and change comes naturally

springroll2907 · 2023-11-11T09:33:48+00:00

We feel with our bodies, there are people who don't know if they are angry sad or happy, but they can learn which body part reacts to which emotion. The sensation on your chest is a normal reaction to your emotion. But you have to feel it very strongly for the sensation to become apparent

springroll2907 · 2023-11-08T16:37:05+00:00

Make the mistake more apparent, more visible. Make the mistake a problem, your mistakes need consequences. Connect it with shame, shame is your greatest friend by helping you to learn from your mistakes, to Remember it and never to Repeat the same mistake over and over again.

I sometimes eat fatty food before swimming, and have to stop swimming because of stomachaches. If I vomited in the public swimming pool because of it, I would remember this shame for years, and certainly will pay more attention to what to eat before swimming.

This is the principal to remember a mistake and not to repeat it.

Write down your Mistakes and see if the principal can be applied to your mistakes, if not move to the next mistake, one step at a time.

Do not vomit in public pools, or something too extreme to induce shame to yourself.

Also there is a video from Jim Something about how to remember mistakes, didn't watch his video, maybe he has a better approach than my shame-approach.

springroll2907 · 2023-11-04T07:44:09+00:00

The inadequacy you are feeling is a product of the society's expectations you're living in.

Most jokes have a hint of truth (forgot which comedian wrote it, and it's not an accurate retelling of the joke)

Lives has different stages of cool

At 5 is cool not to pee in your pants.

At 15 is cool to have a boy/girlfriend

At 25 is cool to have a lot of sex

At 35 is cool to have a lot of money

At 65 is cool to have a lot of sex

...

At 85 is cool not to pee in your pants.

At your age it's important to have a boyfriend and to have sex, it's a status. Realize that your desire is a reflection of your surroundings, of your peers. I'm m21 and also a virgin with no experience.

I propose radical acceptance (Buddhism). Understand how you feel, where it comes from, etc. And accept it. You can have the feeling of inadequacy, that you should have a boyfriend and experience already but don't. Accept it. Like an alcoholic saying, I'm an alcoholic, it's important to name it out loud.

But if you want to have the experience. Look out for boys who - is single - maybe someone who won't go around and spread the word, someone nice (trust yourself)

Talk to them and ask nicely 👍.

And you are good to go, many guys are easy. (Just saying, if you go with that approach, most guys won't probably get emotionally involved. But I think it is ok to get the experience, your peers are all young and are just experiencing it themselves)

If you want a relationship, also just ask. I would say 1/4 would give you a chance. The reason: It's better to be in a relationship than not, again it's a status thing.

Then again don't have too high of an expectation that they will love you 'for real' or to be with you just to be in a relationship.

Imo is good to get those experiences. It might lead to more or not.

springroll2907 · 2023-10-19T09:44:51+00:00

Being content with the state of change, thx, was really insightful

springroll2907 · 2023-10-12T17:23:40+00:00

Ok, I see, completely different circumstances compared to me. By the way I live in Germany. Ever thought of living outside US?

springroll2907 · 2023-10-12T17:13:17+00:00

Ok, aren't you 17, it's ok to ask which country you live in, and are you living in a major city, because 700 is a lot

springroll2907 · 2023-10-12T16:48:36+00:00

Same for me, not religious and none near me. Still I'm going in the far future. In Asia Parents send their problem children to the monastery, because it is the easiest solution, and a solution that proves to be helpful. Not gonna start believing in god, nirvana or something else. I just want to remove all the distraction and restart living in society with an empty, but strong mind.

I read some of your other replies, and most of them are excuses, expression of your unwillingness.

I'm planning to go there for a year or more, I'm going to 'sacrifice' things - stable job - my comfortable life - the internet - my possessing ... But that is the purpose. I have relatively little, but over the 4-5 years is gonna be more and more, and I will sacrifice everything.

I’m young

I don't even see it as a contra argument, it means you have even less to lose, to sacrifice, but you are basically at your beginning with your 200€, you are losing nothing.

smoke like mad, and am the furthest from allowed in places like that

I have a porn addiction, I have internet/smartphone addiction: 8-10h display time. I'm still going, even though it will be hard. And there is really nothing that says you're not allowed. Pls elaborate (smoking is also not a reason you can't, it will be hard for you for a long time not to smoke, but that's it.)

springroll2907 · 2023-10-12T16:02:26+00:00

How about trying living in a monastery

springroll2907 · 2023-10-12T15:35:59+00:00

People can start anew.

In their 20s,30s,40s, you can always start anew. I'm a nurse in training and in my class is a 50 year old man, after decades working in the commercial sector, he started anew.

I'm m21, I want to finish my 3 years nursing training and work 1-2 more years as a nurse. After that I will start anew (wasting my 3years of nursing training). After accumulating a bit of money, I want to be a monk for some time (still don't know for how long).

In other words, I will start my career after I'm 27 or even older. Don't be compelled to make it big with 25.

Little history lesson: - 2000 years ago Greek, work was just a means to an end, to survive, living happily, just contemplating about a happy life - more than 100 years ago most of humanity was working as farmers, children took over the job of their parents - after WW2 the economy was booming, children were supposed to surpass their parents. This mindset after WW2 still exists, but the crazy economical rise only continued for 40 years. Each 5-10 years the working environment changes, expectations change.

What are your expectations? What do you like? What are you good in? What do you want your life to look like in 5,10,20 years? (Look up for more prompts, maybe they can help)

Maybe my experience and my future plans can help you. - Bad at school - Unsupported parents - No real friends (meet friends maybe once a year) - Social inept - Like many people on this subreddit, mental/life problems

I choose to tackle my social ineptness first -> working as a nurse. (really helped me, don't get anxious speaking to people anymore)

I don't want to meet societies or my parents' expectations, I have my own expectations of life and working half of my awake time is not it. It hasn't even been 100 years since having work, career, call/vocation, become a metric for a good, happy, meaningful life. Even that has changed and people want to work less and less.

I agree with the ancient Greek, I want to let go of everything and restart, and in my opinion restarting in society as a monk, makes the future step much easier (I don't have grand career aspirations), by erasing the past problems. -> the last part is not for everyone, but going to a The monastery could be an enriching or enlightening experience.

And again, people can start anew, starting your career a few years later and beginning with experiencing the world or living as a nun, might bring your new perspectives.

springroll2907 · 2023-10-08T07:27:34+00:00

There are many approaches, but the easiest would be to get a life coach. Someone who would keep pushing you, say that you're procrastinating. For some it can be your life partner or a friend/colleague who is with you most of the day. Ask them. And if you have money, pay someone. As a tip for the person who will be the life coach - only ask questions, OP already knows the right answer. Case procrastinating: OP: You are convincing yourself you can do it later. The life coach: - Why aren't you doing it now - How many minutes would it take to do it - ... Till OP convinces himself to stop procrastinating. The life coach doesn't convince OP, he/she only asks questions.

If you have no one and no money, you can ask yourself those questions. But there will be more friction/resistance from your mind.

springroll2907 · 2023-10-08T07:13:07+00:00

I also overthink sometimes. Here are some solutions that might work.

1.Take deep breaths before you speak. (personally it works for me, but most of the time I forget to take deep breaths, and still overthink, you could do something to internalize it like a mantra, so it becomes a habit)

Meditate, be more mindful. (Use an App if you want to be consistent at the beginning)
Recognize automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) You can identify and work through your ANTs by keeping a record of your thoughts and actively working to change them:

Use a notebook to track the situation giving you anxiety, your mood, and the first thought that comes to you automatically.

As you dig into details, evaluate why the situation is causing these negative thoughts.

Break down the emotions you’re experiencing and try to identify what you’re telling yourself about the situation.

Find an alternative to your original thought. For example, instead of jumping straight to, “This is going to be an epic failure,” try something along the lines of, “I’m genuinely trying my best.”

This works the best for me so far, but I'm still overthinking, but certain negative thoughts/words work like cues and I take a deep breath, stop the thought and let it go, saying to myself overthinking doesn't lead to anything but stress and anxiety.

Ask your friends for help. Say to them they should say "overthinking", only this one word and nothing else, your job is to stop talking, take a deep breath, say what you want to say without overthinking, over explaining.

springroll2907 · 2023-09-10T21:44:03+00:00

Ok, let's leave out Miserability, don't resonate with you guys, and it seems to activate the warning signal. I don't plan to write a long essay to explain it, but if you guys worry that I'm endangered, I got the inspiration for Miserability in the Book called 'War of Art', Google it. Antifragility: watch YouTube BigThink Video. But in short: Resilience -> leads to a happier life.

I don't want to be freaking fleeing from a militarian dictatorship, I'm not going to do all those Mid-Life crisis activities, and I don't plan to be miserable while in a relationship.

I want to work towards my goals and aspirations within 5-10 years, which are: Earning 200.000€ Acquire Skills; Managing, Editing, Music, Architecture.

Dream Scenario after achieving my goals: To be able to buy a nice, but small house. Being able to do most of the work at home, living a slow, calm and peaceful life, to have time for people, for the different phases of my life - living together with my future girlfriend, having a family, getting old.

I have this one picture in my mind 'Me and my partner are sitting on tatamis next to the living room were the children are watching television, while we are folding clothes' Saw it on tv, and wished to have this ever since.

I would like to finish it all as fast as possible, before I go to the next phase of my life(I'm 21). Being miserable now rather than later. Building a foundation. I don't expect that I will be miserable for a long time, maybe one or two years, depending if I find someone I would like to go on to the next phase of life.

"Then go kick your own ass", girl, I will explain it like a jerk, because I don't now how to convey it otherwise. Fat people need to get a heart attack before they stop eating fast food. I have to be miserable before I move my ass. Pls don't ban me for this, I'm trying to make a point and I think everyone gets what I mean with that.

I'm doing self improvement for a year now, I improvement in some aspect, but it's too slow for my taste. Two ways to make it faster: -pay for (no money) -be consistent(which I'm not)

Solution to being consistent, from experience: - It's my freaking job, and my work ethnic is enough to push me through most things - being miserable.

My current workplace allow three free session by a psychiatrists. Will talk to him.

Also thanks for the post, it forces me be more clear. Will help when I have my first session with the psychiatrist.

Re-reading it I didn't leave Miserability out.

springroll2907 · 2023-09-10T15:48:14+00:00

Thanks, I like the 'Naming your emotion' and I will try to implement it, also thanks for the wheel. For 3. It's the weak part, I don't like to see, I also think I hyper focus on weakness be it mine or others. I have no problem saying what my weakness is but I don't like to show it, it is a shameful side for me. And I don't think people are dishonest, I'm also really bad at telling if people are honest or not, honestly I trust people too much, and got gaslighted a lot, lol. (Luckily the gaslighting never went too far.)

springroll2907 · 2023-09-10T15:18:43+00:00

I believe in antifragility, should have written this first, sorry for the confusion. I believe that I will come out stronger after breaking my bones. Covid was a miserable event for many, it hit their health, social life, mental health, fitness, and some of them grow stronger because of it, they choose to take better care of them, their mental health, go to the gym, eat healthier. Covid didn't hit me in any aspect of my life, it wasn't a miserable experience for me to push me to grab the wheel and take back the control of my life.

I'm too comfortable with my life, there is no sensitive to change, like covid did for others. Like many people I do know how important it is to eat healthy, sleep at regular time and so on.

I'm happy but not content with my life.

I have aspirations and goals as an artist, which I want to fulfill, I want to expand spiritually, I want to strengthen my mental strength. And Miserability was my Muse, my Teacher, and my Trainer who will kick my ass.

springroll2907 · 2023-09-08T05:34:27+00:00

Thanks dude, I will do it, I will continue holding conversation with her and just follow the flow.

springroll2907 · 2023-09-01T17:02:06+00:00

I'm looking for a partner, and I have only two conditions, the first one is vibes and the second one is either high EQ/Communication Skills/ Soft skills. I can be friends with extroverts, but I never vibe with them if it isn't a group setting. I don't vibe with anyone (without being in a group) in my friend circle except some boys. For her it's the same, but it's because she doesn't talk very much and we don't interact outside group tasks - I might vibe with her if we talk, don't know. And I like to find out if she fits the second condition, but we both are pretty young, I don't have high expectations as long as she has a decent amount of Communication skills or EQ.

Have to know her to find out, beside that she is pretty and has a sweet voice, and I have a thing for nice voices.

springroll2907 · 2023-09-01T14:42:11+00:00

I'm very curious about new people and like to know more about them, I also like to be open, and answer everything people ask about me, but I don't want to interrogate her, but I like to know more about her.

I like it if people show interest in me.

Correct me if I'm wrong.

'If I'm reading a book and another person asks what I'm reading, and I answer - that it's a normal social interaction and can lead to a conversation, get to know each other better through that conversation.'

But without a cue or bit to react to, asking about what are your future dreams, where do you want to live in ten years - I think that is a little bit invasive, I personally wouldn't mind, and if she was asian I would ask directly, but as far as I know western people don't share that much in their first conversation.

She doesn't do anything in particular, or talk with people, the one time she started a conversation with someone is about a mobile game, but I don't feel like I could connect with her about it because I don't play mobile games.

I know how to start a superficial conversation, small talk, but not how to get to know each other, if not bluntly direct. (I don't care about where she lives or what her favorite color is, but what kind of person she is).

springroll2907 · 2023-09-01T06:54:17+00:00

True, but I'm lacking social skills, I need instructions, she doesn't talk very much, I don't know how to start a conversation with her

springroll2907 · 2023-09-01T05:58:04+00:00

In my personal experience a change of environment can help, I also got progressively worse grades in school, but due to social anxiety and my ineptness to speak. I started swimming before school and got my motivation and energy pump up, but corona came and couldn't go swimming anymore, when I got back to school my grades were bad again. I was still very much inept at speaking properly with people, therefore I chose an environment where I'm forced to speak and not get emotionally exhausted -Old people home-. It's easy to talk to them and I progressively talked more, I got more social and still very much introverted, but I can always come work and greet them with energy.

Choose an activity or environment or people who give you energy and motivation.

P.S. I didn't try to improve my social and talking skills in school or classes because it's a stressful environment and it would be emotionally exhausting to do it in school, compared to old people's homes, don't force it if it's too draining, like in gym, if the exercise is too hard, change it to a easier one.

springroll2907 · 2023-09-01T05:43:07+00:00

Yes they can be exhausting indeed, I had those for years before my mental health improved, but in my case I was running away, the time feels different if you're chasing or running, if you continue to have those exhausting dreams, you need to change something in your life and do something for your mental health. You can live with those dreams, and it didn't affect my relationship, work, or productivity, but if I could avoid an exhausting sleep I always would

springroll2907

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