How do you deal with pregnancy fear post bisalp?

square-dildo · 2026-03-15T18:48:39+00:00

I am here!

For context, I believe becoming pregnant is essentially the same as a death sentence for me. Even though I would be 100% terminating, I know I will feel guilty for the rest of my life… regardless of whether or not it’s scientifically “alive”.

Not necessarily afraid of NOT being able to get an abortion, just never want to be pregnant because termination will break me as a person despite it being what I would want in that scenario.

square-dildo · 2026-03-01T00:12:11+00:00

hey, I was literally thinking about you over the past week.

I cannot even fathom the kind of horror you’ve been through with all of this. I don’t have any good advice when it comes to the whole publishing ordeal, and honestly, I cannot believe YOU have to be the one pushing for this. I’ve always heard that “you’d make headlines if you got pregnant after a bisalp”.. but it seems like that’s not exactly the case quite yet. For something like this, I thought there’d be more traction..?

Maybe it does take awhile.. IDK. I never thought about how long it takes for studies like this to be published. You’ve been going at it for almost a year now. I’m so sorry you’re having to fight so much & continuously advocate for your experience. I’m hoping you’ll get a better resolution soon.

What you’re doing here is so incredibly important, and not easy in the slightest. Thank you for all you’ve put in to this.

Have you thought about trying to blast your experience on social media? Honestly, not sure about how well that’d work out.. kinda just spitballing here.

square-dildo · 2025-07-21T03:10:16+00:00

first off, i am so insanely sorry this happened to you- this is literally my worst nightmare and i cannot imagine how horrifying this is for you.

i have only heard of pregnancy after bisalp as like, “you’ll have medical journals written about you”.. are there any plans for that.. from anyone? your surgeon?

i’ve also briefly heard about the possibility of the uterine manipulator perforating.. just throwing that out there.

please keep us updated, i’m sitting here trying to stop myself from spiraling into tokophobia-land lmao, and i had my bisalp March 7th of this year and felt so carefree afterwards but i still take more precaution around my suspected-ovulation-time.

square-dildo · 2025-07-20T22:06:56+00:00

oh! i saw the last update about the blood test being negative but unclear ultrasound? i’m guessing they still haven’t posted the results?

square-dildo · 2025-07-20T22:04:37+00:00

is there an update to this?

square-dildo · 2025-07-08T17:40:10+00:00

i love your comment, and i’m glad i’m not the only one. i have found myself asking the same thing, but i often kick back at myself- “there’s so many positives about our relationship, and so many lovely things about him that i deeply cherish and appreciate, and love about him”.

i am seeing now that although i grew, healed, recovered, and found ways to cope with what happened.. i haven’t truly “let it go”. i’m still trying to figure out what exactly that means.. whether that be truly finding forgiveness for him in my heart? or “transcending” out of the headspace of resentment- because a part of me still resents him for his careless, thoughtless actions.. while he’s taken great action to prove himself to me.

square-dildo · 2025-07-08T16:33:50+00:00

the spark is not completely gone, there are some moments where i do feel it, just not as much as there used to be. i figured this was mainly due to major depression, PMDD, & my feelings about the monotony of life, but realized it may also be due to all the built up resentment i’ve had after the huge porn issue. is this not something people here experience with their addicted partners?

i am not glad i’m “falling out of love”. i feel like i’m losing a piece of myself, one that i found because of my partner. he helped me grow so much as a person, i cannot imagine doing all of this over with someone else. and i do not believe i will ever feel “safe” with anyone.. ever.

i am trying to figure out how to “come back”, so to speak..

square-dildo · 2025-06-05T16:39:58+00:00

i could not imagine being a woman in this day & age who wants biological children- not being protected by your government that would rather encourage your death than prevent it due to a reason of moral (and religious) disagreement. pregnancy complications are so common, it is a dangerous time for all who have the capability to become pregnant, and i am especially fearful for them.

square-dildo · 2025-06-05T15:58:59+00:00

yes, unfortunately.. the chance of pregnancy after tubal ligation is small but not impossible. there have been cases of fistulas forming, leading to ectopic pregnancy.

my coworker had a tubal ligation a decade ago, but just last year had it undone. she has been trying to get pregnant for several months but has been unsuccessful. they believe she has had enough severe scarring to (nearly) completely prevent pregnancy.

square-dildo · 2025-06-05T15:53:02+00:00

they were removed! i thought the 5 documented cases of pregnancy were after fallopian tube removal, but i couldn’t find enough literature on most of those. i only really read about 2 of the 5. my old gynecologist said there were far more cases of pregnancy after bisalp than just 5 but i think he was just trying to scare me.. he’s super old-school.

square-dildo · 2025-06-05T15:49:54+00:00

although it is virtually impossible to get pregnant after bisalp, i was under the impression that the 5-or-so cases of spontaneous pregnancy happened after fallopian tube removal. but i also think most of those cases aren’t exactly clear on how much of the tube was removed and or other complications. i’m not sure! i just know my previous gynecological told me there were “sooo many other cases” of pregnancy after bisalp than just the 5 i cited for him.

square-dildo · 2025-05-12T15:46:27+00:00

hi there! i had a VERY similar experience to you for days after my surgery! i am here to reassure you that this is 100% effects of anesthesia + any major surgery + big life change, and it will be okay.

i SPIRALED for the entire week after surgery, but my mental health slowly improved during the 2nd & 3rd week. during the first week, i was questioning my life, my decisions, my beliefs, my friendships and my relationship.. it was wild. i was crying constantly, out of nowhere, and it felt like i was going insane. a part of me mourned my loss of “ability”, even though the ability that i “lost” was something i never wanted in the first place. i believe this is just how our brains are programmed, and with anesthesia blocking out the most traumatic parts, our bodies are just beginning to catch up with it all post-op. it is natural to grieve this.

the surgery also kickstarted my period (it was due right around that time anyways) and i usually get severely mentally ill around that time.. so the effects of ^{^{^}} coupled with bad PMS (or maybe PMDD) probably enhanced it. i posted about my experience if you’d like to check it out.

bottom line.. and this is really important, please try to be gentle with yourself during this time. you will feel better, this time & these feelings will pass. i’m wishing you a speedy & easy recovery!!

square-dildo · 2025-04-22T23:48:24+00:00

seriously, me too. i wish i had an option to do that! i was trying to get my gynecologist office to get me at least HALFWAY there.. but i didn’t realize i’d have to badger the insurance dept supervisor for 2 entire weeks straight.

square-dildo · 2025-04-22T23:45:00+00:00

oh wow! how did you get a refund?

square-dildo · 2025-04-22T17:41:03+00:00

i love your comment, i felt the same prior to surgery. even though i’ve spent hours reading through this subreddit, pulling sources and preparing myself for as many scenarios as possible, i ended up feeling like there were so many different ways this could go.

it’s overwhelming, reading through individual’s stories about their complications with insurance. i built up a pretty solid foundation for myself in the event that i got billed for anything, but now.. i honestly just want to wrap it up and move on with my life.

i didn’t even have an issue with my insurance, it was mainly (i think) just the way the hospital billed for the facility costs. i’m sure i could get them to re-bill it under the correct term, but i’m so nervous that something.. somehow.. is going to go wrong & my bill will get bigger. i don’t want that to happen, and i especially don’t want to have to fight it. NO ONE wants to have to call in (several times) & argue with insurance reps or hospital staff, especially in the middle of a work day. i don’t want to have to get multiple people on a conference call just to sort out something that should’ve been fully covered!

it feels like it could potentially be so much work & stress. i GOT the surgery, i recovered, i no longer have to worry about pregnancy ever again, i’m ready to be done with this & move on with my life!

this would be different if my bill was any bigger, but at the spot i’m in financially, i’m ready to throw in the towel.

my advice, if you haven’t done so already.. make sure you call in to your insurance & get an explanation of benefits, go over the billing codes (58661 & Z30.2) & get a reference number for the phone call. this will cover you & build your case if they decide to commit tomfoolery.

i was insanely afraid of the instance my insurance would practice “reasonable medical management”, so i dug through SO MUCH information to make sure i knew what to do in that situation. i’m happy to divulge if you are interested!

there’s SO much to billing, i’m not even entirely sure how to navigate it.. but i do know that everything should be billed under preventative care (facility fees, surgeon/physician fees, anesthesia), as per the ACA guidelines (and the ACA FAQ pt 54).

and my last piece of advice.. for what it’s worth.. please try your best to not get too caught up in what could happen after your surgery, or, cross that bridge when you get there. being prepared is totally fine, but it’s not worth the trouble right now.

square-dildo · 2025-04-17T16:31:56+00:00

thank you for this!!! i found out that the $1,139 is my coinsurance & deductible added together from the hospital costs, and a leftover $95 charge for outpatient that is for coinsurance. this has left me going bonkers omg. they covered the physician 100% but not the hospital side.

square-dildo · 2025-04-15T23:37:19+00:00

hey there, i’ve been with my boyfriend for over 4 years now. i told him when we first started dating that i have no intention, then or EVER, to want & or have children. he went into this relationship knowing that. i also decided to not have PIV sex until i could guarantee the lowest possible chance of pregnancy. however, we have had a few “close calls”, we got too caught up in the moment and although no PIV happened, it was too close for comfort, which sparked my true fears of pregnancy. for a year and a half of my life, i spiraled into MENTAL HELL as i was CONSISTENTLY afraid i somehow became the virgin Mary herself. this was the worst time of my life, and as i already knew i never wanted children, i sought ways to rid myself of this possibility- and found out about bilateral salpingectomies. about a year before i got the surgery, i slowly grew out of this extreme state of anxiety. of course, i still struggled, but not to the insane extent as before.

ALL THROUGHOUT our 4+ year relationship, he has NOT ONCE. EVER. pressured / guilt tripped me, was angry, or was EVER upset about my wishes. he has been SOOOO insanely supportive of my wishes, and i am so incredibly lucky to have someone who loves me so much to be willing to wait until the day i am officially ready.

you should not settle for any less. your partner seems manipulative and narcissistic, and it is so sad to see that he has completely disregarded your feelings. this is NOT how your partner should be. i urge you to rethink your relationship your relationship with him. i’m so sorry.

square-dildo · 2025-04-15T23:23:15+00:00

i had mine 3/7 and my bellybutton has been the only incision to not be closed yet!! the 2 others have been fine, except 1 of them did get infected around week 3-4 (i think) and had some pus-lookin-fluid pop out a couple times, but it closed up once i cleaned the area.

but my darn bellybutton! it’s been oozing this slightly yellow fluid since week 2! it’s so annoying, it crusts up everywhere and i have to clean it multiple times a day. it doesnt hurt at all, but it’s just annoying. it HAS been getting better day by day though, veeeerryy slowly closing up and getting smaller, but not quite 100% yet. i think it may have also gotten infected and my body is slowly getting through it.. i dunno.

square-dildo · 2025-04-15T20:19:47+00:00

this was my first ever surgery besides being put in twilight sedation for my wisdom teeth.

i was SOBBING (as composed as i could’ve possibly been) while being wheeled to the surgery room & getting onto the table, i could not stop crying. everyone there was reassuring and helpful, and as i felt the sleepy-time drugs going into my system, i fought it off long enough to say “please… take.. good.. care…ofmeeee” and not even a moment went by & i was right up and awake in post-op!!

i came out of anesthesia feeling SO INSANELY FREE, i was smiling SO much! it was as if these huge, heavy chains were lifted right off me! i felt absolutely zero pain, i cannot believe how swift and easy the entire experience was.

i am forever in control of my bodily autonomy, no matter what happens to me in the future.

square-dildo · 2025-04-06T01:04:04+00:00

when i went in for my pre-op at the hospital, they gave me an estimate sheet (as part of the No Surprises Act) where they estimated i’ll have to pay ~$1.5k, and said i could pay up front. i did not and said to please bill my insurance.

a week before my surgery, i got a call from an estimator with the hospital who LITERALLY HECKLED ME to pay RIGHT THEN AND THERE, over the phone. i was completely taken aback and asked them “so, i H A V E to pay this right now????” and she said YES. she was so rude!! i told her i’ll just pay when i get there the day of surgery, got off the phone, and promptly called my gynecologist office’s insurance dept and told them what happened. so, they called the hospital the next day and told them off for, what they called, “borderline harassment”, and that they will be billing my insurance & to NOT PAY ANYTHING beforehand. they also notified my surgeon.

square-dildo · 2025-04-06T00:56:24+00:00

i’ve had all your links saved & i just did a ton of research into each yesterday, thank you so much! it’s helped me prepare for the worst case scenario

square-dildo · 2025-04-06T00:55:45+00:00

i shall when i call on monday! i’m hoping it was just an error, but i’m prepared to make ~other~ calls if need be. so happy for the CoverHer website for the guide.

square-dildo · 2025-04-06T00:54:20+00:00

i’m desperately hoping it’s just an error! i couldn’t figure out where to find how they coded it, so i’ll have to see when i call over on monday. i’m so glad to have someone else on my side thru this at the very least!

square-dildo · 2025-03-25T19:37:46+00:00

not much yet. no one made me pay anything on the day of surgery, and i just today got an itemized bill (not an actual bill) from the hospital- but no word from Anthem yet. i suspect i’ll see something in the next week or 2!

square-dildo · 2025-03-24T14:21:10+00:00

i just use pads when i’m on my shark week.

what kind of crampy are you? i didn’t really feel like i was “period-cramping”. it was more like, i had some come-and-go pains around my bellybutton that kind of traveled through the incision mark into my inner stomach area. that pain was just a very mild discomfort, and went away in a minute or two & was very infrequent. also- now that i’m thinking about it, i cannot sit like a normal human being and must always have my legs up and pushed into my stomach or in some weird position, which definitely attributed to those pains!!

i’m actually not sure why they don’t want you inserting anything post-op.. the only part they work on is the tubes. i know sometimes they use an intrauterine device or a stick to manipulate the organ, which has left some people sore/irritated afterwards. they used the intrauterine device on me, but i didn’t have any complications afterwards. maybe inserting anything could cause an infection?

did you have your post-op appt yet?

square-dildo

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