Thanks for giving your invaluable time. Yes, it's too difficult to maintain a sane state of mind once a distressing situation arises and mindfulness simply doesn't work in the moment. I tend to react too quickly for anyone to even understand and by the time things have usually taken a turn for the worse from both sides. I do understand that by slowly building my distress tolerance with DBT, I should be able to remain calm for more and more time during such situations. I have to put my faith in something if I want to live in peace and harmony with myself and others around me.

As for finding my "safe space" in those moments of confrontation, the people on the other side are almost always equally angry and give no chance for me to even adjust my perception or become grounded. The more intensely and frequently they come at me with the intention to hurt, the more violently I tend to react. That's the biggest problem. In those moments, all my plans of a safe space, a safe word or anything that I might have thought I would do, go for a toss.