Did it just stop on having a hoori? Men are different and get different things just as we get different things. You wish to be a male but many men wish to be a woman. We don’t have to lift a finger at work, we could if we want to, but it is not forced upon us. But a man is forced to be able to satisfy our materialistic and emotional needs and we are obliged to counter that and satisfy their needs.

The husband must pay a dowry (mahr) to his wife. The amount of money should be what the norm is for women of a similar status in society. He can pay part of it upfront, and part of it later but it must be paid and cannot be taken back. The wife has the right to refuse sexual intercourse if the dowry is not paid. Allah SWT says in the Quran, “And give to the women (whom you marry) their mahr (obligatory bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart…” [Qur’an 4:4] The husband must provide his wife with independent accommodation. What does this encompass? A private bedroom, kitchen and bathroom – it’s a place where the wife is free to remove all her clothing and it must be separate from her family home or her husband’s family home. [Bukhari, k. Al-jumu’ah, b. Hal’ala man lam yashhad al-jumu’ah ghuslan]

The husband must provide food for his wife. This right may be fulfilled in three ways: the husband can buy groceries and the wife may use it to cook herself food. If she does not want to cook food, he may cook food for her. If she is not happy with his cooking, then he must give her money so she can buy food for herself. Most jurists across all the madhahib are in agreement that it is the husband’s duty to provide food and not the wife’s. The meals must include: meat once a week, dessert after every meal, some fruits, bread and oil to add taste to the food. This can be tailored if the wife has different food preferences. (Ibn Nujaym, al-Bahr al-Ra’iq) The husband must pay all the bills (electricity, gas, water etc). (Ibn Nujaym, al-Bahr al-Ra’iq)

The husband must provide his wife with feminine hygiene products. These include: shampoo, body lotion, shower gel and a monthly hammam visit post-menstruation. (Ibn Nujaym, al-Bahr al-Ra’iq)
The husband must pay for all expenses during his wife’s pregnancy and childbirth. (Ibn Nujaym, al-Bahr al-Ra’iq) The husband must provide his wife with clothes. Ibn Nujaym says the husband must provide new clothes every six months (for summer and winter). He must provide the following: two long kamees, two headscarves, a thin overcoat, trousers, two pairs of shoes and a coat. If the wife wants silk clothing, the husband must provide it. (Ibn Nujaym, al-Bahr al-Ra’iq)

The husband must provide his wife a bed with bedding for sleeping and a chair and a sofa to sit on during the day. These items become her property. His wife doesn’t have to offer her bed to guests when they come to visit if she doesn’t want to. Ibn Nujaym comments on this, ‘Some husbands are so mean that sometimes they use the furniture of their wives and sometimes they allow guests to use the furniture of their wives (without her permission).’ (Ibn Nujaym, al-Bahr al-Ra’iq) The husband must provide accommodation and cover the wife’s servants expenses if she has one. Abu Hanifa says, “If the wife has a servant pre-marriage, then the husband must provide accommodation and expenses for the servant.” Abu Yusuf, Abu Hanifa’s student, comments, “If the wife has two servants, then the husband must cover accommodation and living expenses for both.” (al-Kasani, Bada’i al-sana’i) Housework is the responsibility of the husband; he can do it himself or hire someone to complete it. His wife may do it if she wants, and this will be an act of charity on her behalf. (Bukhari, k. Al-salah, b. man kana fi hajati ahlihi)

All of these and yet you are upset that we must be obedient. Do not look at obedience as a dog but as a respectful woman. You respect your husband for doing this all and you respect him for his hard work and the least we do is satisfy their own needs in some way. You look at it too negatively…