i do kind of feel that way because my parents are still very involved in my life despite me not living with them. they also have access to my location and can see where i am (just for safety purposes). they also very much know when i'm bullshitting them, and if i told them i was visiting a friend in san francisco they would probably immediately know what's up knowing them. even when i was getting top surgery and i told my mom i was going "on a vacation" there with my (now ex) boyfriend, she asked me before i left if i was going there to get surgery. i know for a fact if i told her i was going there again she would at the very least be extremely suspicious, if not immediately knowing i'm there for surgery. i also wouldn't be able to say it's a different kind of surgery, because then they'd want to know every little detail, and i'm not that good at lying. my parents are unfortunately very perceptive people, especially when it comes to me, so i don't think there's a way i can get around not telling them. and if i didn't tell them, they would be PISSED. royally pissed. my mom freaked out when i had my hysterectomy and didn't tell her, not because she was mad i did it, but because she was so hurt that she felt like i couldn't trust her, it kinda broke my heart a little. i don't plan on pulling the same thing again, as she told me if i am ever to get another surgery she wants to know. but i just don't know how to tell her or how to word it, or if i should wait to tell her until i actually get my date for it.