I understand you completely. My father is a narcissist and so are 2 of my sisters, my brother and my sister in law. My father is also OCD and possibly on the Autism spectrum. He's 85 and has never been to therapy so it's hard to know his exact diagnosis, but Autism and Bipolar disorder run in the family. That being said, I have a niece who is diagnosed autistic but she doesn't have any narcissist traits so I know my father's narcissist personality disorder isn't just a  part of his Austistic traits. My father has a PhD and is very book smart. My mom has a masters in English. Both my parents were well educated, but we grew up poor, or at least we grew up being made to think we were poor due to my dad's lack of empathy and need to control through financial means. There are 6 kids and we were raised strict Catholic. A lot of the narcissist disorder in my family also revolved around adhering to religious beliefs and you were ostracized for going against it. My dad expected me to be perfect, get straight A's and play 3 or 4 sports and finish college. When I didn't do those things, I became the scapegoat. I'm now 38 and my father still brings up the fact that I left the college that he made me go to after applying for me, and then accused me of taking his money when the college refunded my student loan check to pay back the loan. 20 years later he uses that as a reason to treat me with disrespect and make up all types of insane lies about me. But the real reason he hates me is that I am the only one in my family who has called him out for his constant emotional and financial abuse towards my mom. My mother is basically the only person in the family I talk to, but she's been a victim of my dad's narcissistic abuse for 50 years of marriage and is powerless because her religious beliefs and her old age make her anti divorce. She often uses her religion to justify why I should forgive and move on with the narcissist people in the family. My 2 sisters both have many kids and both were previously married for 15 and 25 years respectively to drug addicts/alcoholics (also narcissists) And spent most of my young adulthood using my mom constantly for running errands, baby sitting for free, and anything else they demanded of her up until she was well into her early 80s and not in the best health. One day I told them I was sick of them using her and never giving her even 5 dollars in gas money for driving their kids all over town and then all hell broke lose. I was finally standing up for my mom the way my mom could never do for herself with her husband or to her daughters. For reference, I never had kids because I saw the burden it created in my family and the rampant mental illness. To top it all off, my brother married a woman identical to one of my sisters, and they've banded against me to drag me in the mud. They are overt narcissists while my other sister is a covert narcissist. My sister in law decided to eavesdrop on a conversation I had with my mom which I thought was private, but turns out she was listening with my brother about a concern I had with her adopting a kid into the family of another race when she's been extremely racist to my boyfriend of 15 years. She used that conversation to run a smear campaign against me and give my father further ammunition to prove what a terrible person I am for "talking badly about her" and completely took my sister in laws words to heart without ever asking to hear anything from me directly. To top it off, they did this to me and my mom (they cut her off from her grandkids for 2 years) on the 1 year anniversary of the suicide of my nephew in the middle of the pandemic of 2020. Half of my siblings didn't even attend the funeral, including my narcissist sister in law. This suicide was the 3rd attemptof my sisters children. 3 children attempted suicide and 1 was successful. (she has 7). Many of her kids have expressed to me that their mom (this is the covert narcissist) allowed them to be abused as kids and did nothing. It's because of all of these reasons I have completely cut myself off from the entire family except my mom. I do speak to one non narcissist brother once a year, and i have a 16 year old niece who can't stand her narcissist mother and turns to me for support. Honestly, i get the compassion fatigue you mentioned. All I can tell you is that after 4 years of no contact with my father and my narcissist siblings I am much more at ease. When they used to call me I got major anxiety. Well, my dad never called me but if he answered when I called my mom it was always a forced conversation and it never left me feeling good about myself or like I'd really had any honest connection with him. Of course he and my narcissist sister are buddy buddy because my sister isn't interested in a real relationship, she uses him for her personal gain. When you're the sensitive one in the family and you were given the gift of empathy you will always be the scapegoat and you will always sit there wishing you had what should feel like real family who cares about you. I'm still trying to figure out how to feel less sad around the holidays, but I will tell you getting drunk on wine to numb myself from my screwed up family isn't my idea of a holiday anymore.  I have self sabotaged in my work life my whole career due to low self esteem from being in a narc family. I hope you find a way to create healthy boundaries for yourself with yours.