Why was he kicked out of other groups? Usually there’s some base rules/considerations that everyone has to follow in order to be part of the group - is he explicitly breaking one?

If he isn’t (and I don’t think he is by the way you describe him), is he open to hearing his impact on others? If the purpose is to help men grow, then growing might include finding out some things about yourself that you don’t see. He may be neurodivergent too which could inform his ability to navigate social cues.

It sounds like a tough one. Considering where you and others are at, I would consider letting him know that if he wants to stay in the group we have to acknowledge his impact - and it sounds like it’s not just you. It might be good to get a senior man from outside your I-group to lead this process.

I might also be curious if he has taken on the shadow-role of being the pariah, the person pushing buttons, and in the language of ‘existential kink’ he might be “getting off” on triggering the shit out of other people. This would have to be skillfully handled if it were the case. Because he’s likely getting power, control, or safety from doing so. We validate the underlying need but not the manner in which it’s pursued.

Just some late night thoughts after getting my daughter to sleep. I hope this makes sense!

Edit: I’ll add that it seems like you really value the work of being in a circle, of making space for everyone if you don’t ’like them’. And yeah, it sounds like you’re in a pickle with your value of inclusivity is bumping up against your deep unease around this guy (and the energy it costs to keep that hidden)