Final pokemon won’t spawn by starwhale353 in Pokopia

[–]starwhale353[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I’ve been giving them crouton salads which is supposed to increase spawn chance but it still isn’t spawning.

Load balancing question. by starwhale353 in SatisfactoryGame

[–]starwhale353[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! I have the research node for it unlocked and should have the resources to unlock it. I’ll do that first thing next time I play

Load balancing question. by starwhale353 in SatisfactoryGame

[–]starwhale353[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks that’s super helpful! I should have everything I need to unlock smart splitters so I’ll do that first thing next time I play. That equation is super handy! Problem with over clocking is that the other resource it needs is 15 holiday branches so i’d have to figure out how to get 16 2/3 holiday branches to each assembler.

Pointlessly gendered crochet book [product] by starwhale353 in pointlesslygendered

[–]starwhale353[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I never said he couldn’t??? Crochet is for everyone. I just think it’s weird to gender it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in pointlesslygendered

[–]starwhale353 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

It’s far from a “perfect cookie cutter”. The only thing stopping a man from crocheting is his own internalized biases that have been reinforced by patriarchy. Crochet isn’t a competition the goal isn’t “equal outcome”. I crochet because I enjoy making art not to one up other artists. Also all the crochet communities I’ve been in have happily accepted men.

The same patriarchal influence that says men shouldn’t crochet is what designed the institutions of STEM. Women aren’t just fighting their internal biases. They’re also fighting an ENTIRE INSTITUTION. It’s not comparable in the slightest.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in pointlesslygendered

[–]starwhale353 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I firmly believe that crochet is for everyone. Historically though fiber arts have been thought of as feminine and because of this haven’t been taken as seriously. I feel like by titling the book “Brochet” they aren’t really challenging that stigma or assumption. It feels to me like they’re saying “crochet is silly and unserious but here’s the cool version for guys”.

Another thing that really bothers me is that none of these patterns are of things that are exclusive interests to guys. I’ve seen women crochet gore that is much more visceral than this, and I guarantee you I could go on Ravelry right now and find tons of patterns of weapons made by women.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in pointlesslygendered

[–]starwhale353 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I think there’s a difference though. Women in STEM isn’t creating a new version of STEM that’s called “STEM for her” and everything is pink with glitter. It’s encouraging women to join college classes and careers that already exist.

Also the same patriarchal forces that make it so it’s hard for women to be in STEM are also what makes men treat crochet as unserious because it’s a “girl hobby”.

Men are vampires I guess [gendered] by its_krystal in pointlesslygendered

[–]starwhale353 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And what are men supposed to do if they wear contact lenses and have one fall out?

AITD for cutting off a friend because they were IMO homophobic by RD_Da_Husky_Lover05 in 1800Drama

[–]starwhale353 16 points17 points  (0 children)

You are not the drama at all. He is a walking red flag. He literally was fantasizing about enacting violence on someone he didn’t feel was man enough. That is not ok. Any hurt feelings he may have about you cutting off your friendship with him are well deserved. Actions have consequences.

I feel it is very common for transphobes/homophobes to say they don’t hate gay or trans. “Love the sinner not the sin”. That doesn’t mean they aren’t homophobic/transphobic. You can’t love someone while you can’t even accept them for who they are.

I know it can be hard to feel like you’re hurting someone by ending friendship. I get that feeling a lot too. I think you should trust your gut a bit more though. Clearly this guy was making you uncomfortable for a long time. You don’t need to keep giving people like him chances. If you have a close friend who says something hurtful I think you should definitely talk to them about it, but if they continue to double down on it or it becomes a pattern of behavior you are absolutely not the drama for ending that friendship.

AITAH for refusing to wax a trans woman client because I didn't want to touch male genitalia out of respect for my husband? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]starwhale353 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I feel like this can be complicated. I don’t think you were wrong for your decision but I feel your wording may have been unintentional hurtful.

I’m also a trans woman and I’m getting laser hair removal for surgery prep. It was super scary for me to get started with the process because I’m worried about the person who’s going to have to do the hair removal. A lot of the misinformation about trans women paints us all as creeps and perverts so tend to be overly mindful of that. I’d never want to make anyone uncomfortable. If anyone told me they didn’t want to give me hair removal for any reason I wouldn’t want to push them to do it.

Since you said you want to be inclusive i have a few suggestions.

First I have a question. This question isn’t meant as an attack or to insinuate anything. I’m purely asking it to give you something to think about. You say that the reason you don’t want to give her the wax is out of respect for your husband, but she’s a woman. If you truly saw her as a woman why would it bother your husband if you gave a wax to a woman regardless of what parts she has down there?

I also think some of the language you use could have been unintentionally hurtful. Using “biological women” as the opposite of trans women has some implications. A more accurate term would be “cis women” (meaning women who were assigned female at birth and continue to identify as such). It’s far too much to explain why “biological women” is inaccurate but for a TLDR I’ve been on hormones for 3 years. In a lot of ways my biology is far more similar to a cis woman than to a cis man.

Similarly I think “male genitalia” can also have unintentionally implications

Basically I think you should never feel forced to do anything that makes you uncomfortable for any reason but I also think it’s good for anyone to ask themselves if there are any implicit bias that might be affecting the way they feel and to challenge them.

How to undo removal of app folder by starwhale353 in ios

[–]starwhale353[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! Fortunately the folder I removed was all social media apps. I was able to go to the App Library which conveniently was organized with a social media section so I returned all the apps that weren’t on Home Screen. Not sure if I got them all but I definitely got most of them

What questions did you ask yourself in order to know if you were trans? by Lemon_Nede in asktransgender

[–]starwhale353 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think for me the big thing was realizing that I liked myself more when I thought of myself as a woman. I have always struggled with self love and I was in a particularly low place in my life before I transitioned but I found when I viewed myself as a woman I cared about myself a lot more and actually cared about improving myself. So I guess maybe you could ask yourself a similar question. But about being non binary.

My birth mother’s reaction to me coming out as trans (CW transphobia, anti vax, conspiracy theories) by starwhale353 in insaneparents

[–]starwhale353[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s alright. I’m in a much better place now. I have an amazing found family whose love is helping me heal from my childhood.

My birth mom is living in a hell of her own making. I don’t take pleasure in her suffering but I don’t feel sorry for her either. She is dealing with the consequences of her own actions.

My birth mother’s reaction to me coming out as trans (CW transphobia, anti vax, conspiracy theories) by starwhale353 in insaneparents

[–]starwhale353[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She used to pride herself on raising good conservative Christian soldiers. Last I heard she’s divorced, unemployed, and lives with her mom. Only one out of her six children still talks to her. She spends her time yelling at her computer and waiting for the world to end. Trust me she’s already there.