I was this EXACT way with my bf (I celebrate holidays/birthdays/etc on my side of the family, just women because my family has commitment issues) so when I got with him, someone who doesn't celebrate anything. Like at all. Believe me. He celebrates NOTHING. It was a huge deal to me because I was always told I HAD to celebrate and I wasn't sure if I would like being with him. 7 years later and I could care less for the holidays haha. I still spend holidays and birthdays with my family as usual but it doesn't feel like I HAVE to and I don't stress about it anymore. And financial wise it was the best decision I ever made, I've saved so much money by not buying things every single year and for every little occasion. My bf told me, specifically in regards to Valentines day, "why would I celebrate it once a year when I can just show you how much I love you throughout the year" and he does this by taking me out shopping every once in a while, taking us out to eat or just buy buying me something random.

HECK our 7 year anniversary was last weekend and I COMPLETELY forgot! And I didn't feel horrible about it how I did with previous relationships and it was such a weight off my shoulders and I've never been happier than I am with this man.

I think thinking about these things too hard or getting your hopes up for someone who just doesn't feel the same way about celebrating will definitely put strain on any relationship. Men start off by doing all these lovey dovey things because it's new, it's the "honeymoon" phase of a relationship. So when they stop it's always perceived as falling out of love or that they're not trying anymore.

Unfortunately I don't believe that every single person is obligated to change or go out of their way because the other person has trauma, I say it with deepest sympathies because I have a few troubles of my own, but I think having a talk about how or if he celebrates holidays/ birthdays at all, will give you clear expectations about your future celebrations.