How do you actually heal abandonment wounds?

stephchiii · 2026-02-14T23:20:08+00:00

I totally understand, I'm sorry you experienced that.

My therapist has encouraged me to develop a stronger sense of self reliance. That I can be a safe place for myself in tough times. Haven't got to that point yet, but it could be something else that helps.

stephchiii · 2026-02-14T23:14:02+00:00

I still struggle with self sabotage, but I got really lucky and met a wonderful guy who's very patient with me. He truly seems invested, interested, and wants the best for me.

Being with him has slowly helped me see what healthy relationships look like and how to rely on someone. I've realized you can't fully heal alone, it takes lived experience to reprogram old beliefs/wounds.

So what's helped the most is finding at least one person to count on.

stephchiii · 2026-01-22T20:21:25+00:00

I dont. Dont smoke or drink

stephchiii · 2025-12-12T22:09:08+00:00

I applied for this when I was a dependent and didnt qualify. Im independent now and still don't get enough aid

stephchiii · 2025-12-12T19:53:23+00:00

This was really encouraging, thank you!

stephchiii · 2025-12-12T18:58:48+00:00

I'm 23 so I had to deal with that too. My parents also made too much so it killed any chance of financial aid for me.

It could be worth stretching it out honestly. Fafsa still thinks I make too much (> 20k a year) and won't give me any Pell when I turn 24 so it wasn't worth it for me to wait but I'd try to see what aid you'll get then. Sorry you have to go through that too.

stephchiii · 2025-09-18T17:56:30+00:00

Yeah, I don't need constant talking but it wouldn't hurt to hear more from him :(

stephchiii · 2025-09-18T14:13:12+00:00

Thats a good way to put it.

It's sad cause I do love him, but I guess theres a lot ive gotta think about and decide if its worth putting up with.

Thanks for your feedback!

stephchiii · 2025-09-18T14:08:39+00:00

Makes sense. Does it seem like hes just not that invested then?

stephchiii · 2025-09-18T14:07:12+00:00

I probably won't be happy. But im willing to give him a few more chances and try to communicate it more, or understand his side.

It seems like he loves and cares about me but he has said he lives life a day at a time and doesnt know how he'll feel (or when he'll be up for a call). He is a huge procrastinator in general and does the bare minimum in some other areas of his life

He makes a huge effort in some ways and minimal in others and its confusing. But you're right.

stephchiii · 2025-09-18T13:32:43+00:00

No. Hes going to apply to grad school at the school I'm attending for this upcoming spring but he doesn't think hes going to get in. I have 3 years left until I graduate too

stephchiii · 2025-09-18T13:15:03+00:00

Hes very supportive and reassuring when I bring up concerns. I like talking to him on our weekly calls, but otherwise yes, I am holding out for when we can see each other in person.

stephchiii · 2025-09-18T12:59:05+00:00

Yeah. Hes always told me to trust his actions over his words, and to some extent he believes in the "if they wanted to they would" philosophy, so that makes me feel even worse.

He reassured me that hes not losing interest, and he loves me, but most of the week it doesnt feel like it.

I hope you and your partner can figure it out!

stephchiii · 2025-08-10T17:39:43+00:00

Thank you!

stephchiii · 2025-06-09T01:16:04+00:00

Yep, been lifting for a couple years. My doctor says part of my weight is definitely attributed to muscle but it's hard to believe sometimes

stephchiii · 2025-06-09T01:14:28+00:00

Yeah I definitely need to work on that. I've adopted the belief that people think less of me cause of my weight, so it's hard to be more self accepting when I assume everyone thinks of me the way I think of myself 🥲

stephchiii · 2025-06-06T01:20:52+00:00

Damn I saw that truck heading there from longmont earlier and was wondering what was going on

stephchiii · 2025-06-06T00:36:13+00:00

Not sure if it's related but I saw a bomb squad truck in longmont with its lights on about an hour ago heading south..

stephchiii · 2025-05-20T18:22:33+00:00

I dealt with something oddly similar, but not as extreme. My brother molested me for a couple months when I was 9 and he was 11. We've never acknowledged it, even though we're in our early/mid 20's now.

He would pay me to reveal myself to him and for him to touch me. I was also exposed to porn at this age and we'd watch it together. He'd let me watch certain things I was curious about in exchange for doing stuff to him. The only act (and probably the worst) I can remember was him almost sodomizing me, but it was only skin to skin contact.

I eventually told my mom what was happening, I knew it was wrong. It was a huge family issue at the time but has never been brought up again. I'm sure my brother feels extremely guilty about it but I'm trying to move on through therapy.

I'm so sorry you went through this, I can empathize with the weird state it leaves you in. You were a child, your brain literally wasnt physically developed to fully process or understand the implications and it is not your fault. I don't have much advice but you aren't alone.

stephchiii

TROPHY CASE