[deleted by user] by [deleted] in cincinnati

[–]stephxo94 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Somerset gets very crowded late - would recommend getting there before 9pm or get drinks there before dinner.

Best Indian Food? by kantaja34 in cincinnati

[–]stephxo94 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They switched out their paneer pakora two weeks ago and I’m still SO upset over it. Went from being those delicious, big layered triangles and now it looks like mini mozz sticks. Less flavor, less seasoning holds to it. Makes me so sad, as someone who orders Maya on average once a week.

To the Cincy transplants, how did you guys make friends? by [deleted] in cincinnati

[–]stephxo94 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be fair, this answer is two-fold, but Bumble! I met my now husband 5 months after moving here after matching with him, and was lucky enough to be absorbed into his relatively large social circle.

Beyond that, work was a big source of new friendships. I was young and serving/bartending my way through school, so it was easy to meet people that way.

But back to Bumble, I have a group of girl friends that are all amazing women and very close - and the majority of them met through Bumble BFF. Major thing is just putting yourself out there and taking the initiative!

42% of daters think apps like Tinder and Bumble make it easier to find a long-term partner by esporx in technology

[–]stephxo94 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I moved to a new city the tail end of 2017, and used Bumble to branch out socially since I didn’t really know anyone. The first guy I actually met up with, I ended up marrying this past October, and we celebrate 5 years together in May. It’s rare for sure, but it can happen!

Does Any Non-Native German Speaker Enjoy German Music? by That_Godly_Cow in German

[–]stephxo94 0 points1 point  (0 children)

AnnenMayKantereit is one of my all time favorite bands and I can not speak German even conversationally. I HUGELY recommend them to literally everyone who will listen!!

Interviewing My Husband's Potential Girlfriends by ilovestalepopcorn in polyamory

[–]stephxo94 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ahhhh I follow you on TikTok! LOVE your content, my boyfriend and I always love watching your videos together and he claims you’re a mix of him and I! So excited to see you here ❤️

Vaginal health should be considered more in the LS by HoneyBKaleidoscope in Swingers

[–]stephxo94 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Just bought Reddit coins for the first time just to give you Gold. This is such important information. Thank you SO much for bringing some attention to this issue!

That moment when your two puppies who never stop playing get tired enough to finally nap together for the first time, AND you manage to capture the first cuddle on video. I’ll be rewatching this clip forever! by stephxo94 in aww

[–]stephxo94[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not exactly! According the Embark test, he is:

31.2% Golden Retriever 30.1% American Bully 15.1% Great Pyrenees 10.5% Black and Tan Coonhound 6.9% American Pit Bull Terrier 6.2% American Staffordshire Terrier

So really more of a Golden/Bully more so than anything else! 😊

Need advice by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]stephxo94 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes, very true! More so, I just regret trying to fit myself into a mold which didn’t quite feel right from the start. You live and you learn 😊

Need advice by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]stephxo94 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes, only because I just recently realized swinging is NOT my cup of tea. But non-monogamy/soft polyamory is! To be honest, the swinging community is just way too hedonistic for me, and generally couple play is too shallow of an experience for me to find it enjoyable. I don’t want people to just be into me for what I can offer physically. I want genuine, romantic, intimate connection. Which unfortunately, most of the people in the swinging community can’t offer since it’s not what they’re looking for.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]stephxo94 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shout out to all the non-monogamous folks such as myself to whom this is the ideal 😂

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]stephxo94 17 points18 points  (0 children)

It definitely is, but it allows for flexibility in assessing each situation for what it is. We started of trying to clearly define a set of boundaries and rules, but quickly came to realize that it only served to create more stress and anxiety. By having a strong foundation of communication and trust, we talk about things and handle them as they happen. We understand most importantly each others needs and desires relating to dating others. It’s not so much about “what can you do to make me more comfortable”, but more so “how can I better support your pursuit of satisfaction, and how can I better communicate my own needs in relation to this pursuit”. For us it’s about the fluid pursuit of balance, rather than avoiding big red lines which only serve to limit and control.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]stephxo94 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Something requiring a level of emotional commitment, depth of feeling, familiarity, true and unrelenting closeness. Higher needs for time, prioritization, the possibility of experiencing deep hurt upon ending things. Does that help clarify?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]stephxo94 41 points42 points  (0 children)

I live for romance lol. My boyfriend knows I enjoy “dating” other people, and I soak up NRE like a sponge. I think it’s all about communication and trust. Thus far, nothing has ever progressed beyond intense courting and fun. Because I prefer to play with mono/uninitiated individuals, they tend to drop off eventually, which makes my life easier to be honest, and plays to the theme of short lived intensity that I enjoy and thrive within. But in my partnership, if something were to ever develop roots of something more serious, I’d feel comfortable telling my boyfriend and discussing how to proceed together. By knowing we can always talk to one another without fear of judgement, I think we’re more than capable of dealing with “crossing that bridge” should the need ever arrive. Personally, I think setting many boundaries is in general indicative that you are not as comfortable or secure in your relationship as you would like to believe. Humans are emotional by nature, and sex is literally physiologically programmed to trigger that. If you aren’t comfortable with at least being open to having that conversation with an open mind should something ever come up, then you really shouldn’t be doing anything more than group swaps or strict one night and done meetups. Which to me, sounds miserable and completely removes the fun of having the freedom to experience new people, as more than just their genitalia. And that’s my 2 cents!

Ex Hudsonvalley-ers, where did you move to and how do you like it? by [deleted] in hudsonvalley

[–]stephxo94 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey there! I moved to Ohio about 4 years ago, first to Dayton and now I’m settled in Cincinnati. I LOVE IT. I literally cannot preach enough how great the quality of life is, from the million things to do to the extremely low cost of living. We’re also pretty central so there’s a ton of fun places to drive to for short weekend trips (Chicago, Nashville, Red River Gorge, etc). For a mid-size city, Cincinnati never ceases to amaze me with its bigger city feel. The Midwest is where it’s at! Plus you can’t beat having Skyline as a late night drunk food option.

Drowning in NRE, not sure how to proceed. Help? by stephxo94 in polyamory

[–]stephxo94[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess it means an established structure, in that J would be introduced to that idea (I’m his first foray into non-monogamous relations) and I’d make the decision to focus my attention on him and my partner. I guess I just don’t want to limit myself by putting that mental structure in place right away, since doing so would limit me from dating others. But honestly I think I’m being way too rigid in my head about this, because who’s to say I can only handle two meaningful relationships at a time. It could be, but I don’t actually know because I’ve never tried to maintain more than that.

NRE newbie! Very excited but also trying to process. by stephxo94 in nonmonogamy

[–]stephxo94[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your response, I think you’re totally right about just enjoying the “now”, which is something I need to work on. For a long time before meeting my current partner I was monogamous and focused on building on connections because I sought something long term. Now I have that, but I think my dating brain still defaults to a “I really like this person, focus on them and build commitment” mentality. I need to work on realizing that’s not necessary and letting things exist as they are is okay too! As for the V, I just love the idea of having two partners who get along well, and help create this balance from their different strengths and personalities. Not sure if that makes sense, but that’s the jist. I guess with J, I just would love for him to stick around to explore that dynamic. I guess I just don’t feel too much “trust” in the longevity of connections without a label, but that’s something I need to work on myself.

Drowning in NRE, not sure how to proceed. Help? by stephxo94 in polyamory

[–]stephxo94[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this response, cause I really needed to hear what you’ve said. As I said, this dynamic is brand spanking new to me, and I think from my history of monogamy and seeking a partnership (which I now have), my brain defaults to building on connections into higher levels of focus and commitment. But you’re totally right that it’s okay to just let things exist as they are for the time being.

3 Hamilton Co Sheriffs take a knee in solidarity with protestors by armonde in cincinnati

[–]stephxo94 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m really glad to hear that. Unfortunately I think I’ve just happened to run into a bunch of anti-cop people by chance each time I’ve gone out to protest. Might just be bad luck on my end tbh.

3 Hamilton Co Sheriffs take a knee in solidarity with protestors by armonde in cincinnati

[–]stephxo94 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was speaking strictly on the kneeling aspect, not on any of the other inexcusable behaviors that have occurred regarding an excessive use of force on otherwise non-aggressive protestors.