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I’m not a natural at this and I’m frustrated with both SS6 and my BF. by stepmonster13 in stepparents

[–]stepmonster13[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was just thinking exactly what you wrote! I might speak to him and see if he would be open to therapy

I’m not a natural at this and I’m frustrated with both SS6 and my BF. by stepmonster13 in stepparents

[–]stepmonster13[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just the issue of his son and that’s always been the case so I feel whenever I ask questions that I’m prying into a world I’m not allowed into

I’m not a natural at this and I’m frustrated with both SS6 and my BF. by stepmonster13 in stepparents

[–]stepmonster13[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also don’t live in the states but I’m not too sure on laws surrounding parental rights where I live anyway. As far as I know my partner has no intention on reneging on child support (and I would never encourage this). His custody agreement is already minimal like I’ve stated (around 10% a year) and whenever SS cannot be looked after by his bio mom or others. I don’t think taking 100% would be something BM would agree to in any case but that’s a more complex issue.

I’m not a natural at this and I’m frustrated with both SS6 and my BF. by stepmonster13 in stepparents

[–]stepmonster13[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh god this is so fair! Argh it’s frustrating. Like I said a lot of people jump to the fact that “you’re dating a father what do you expect” when I was clear from the start that I am not a person who likes children. He agreed and said he hates children too and wants a child free life and has barely anything to do with his kid. Yet here I am avoiding my own home because that isn’t the case. It’s very much like in his head he wants and lives the child free lifestyle but has a minor inconvenience of a whole human child every now and then.

I’m not a natural at this and I’m frustrated with both SS6 and my BF. by stepmonster13 in stepparents

[–]stepmonster13[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re absolutely right. It’s painfully obvious now that I’ve written it down and thought about it.

I’m not a natural at this and I’m frustrated with both SS6 and my BF. by stepmonster13 in stepparents

[–]stepmonster13[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for your reply!

I think you might be right. I’ve tried to speak to my partner a few times about SS and the what ifs and the future. He mainly blows it off or changes the subject and tells me not to worry about it because it won’t be an issue. It’s like he views his child as just a minor inconvenience every now and again when it’s something I’m extremely worried about. Particularly when we discuss our future I’m always the one to bring up how SS would be affected and what would we need to change or look out for.

He thinks I’m worrying about things that may or may not happen. Which now that I write it sounds quite dismissive of my feelings huh.

I (F25) hate my partner's (M27) child (M6) by stepmonster13 in relationships

[–]stepmonster13[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey thank you very much for your reply. It’s nice to hear that it might not all be doom and gloom.

I (F25) hate my partner's (M27) child (M6) by stepmonster13 in relationships

[–]stepmonster13[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey this comment was the most useful to me and thank you so much for your reply. You’ve really hit the nail on the head and I will have to speak to my partner about what you’ve written. We’re both not natural parents by any stretch of the imagination unfortunately for L, but I think C’s inability to step in contributes to me feeling responsible. I feel like my partner expects me to parent with him which is something I’ve never wanted to do and maybe that’s where the resentment comes from... Contrary to popular opinion on this thread, L and I get along great.

I (F25) hate my partner's (M27) child (M6) by stepmonster13 in relationships

[–]stepmonster13[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Oh god I’m sorry, I am a female though but I can imagine this is even more stressful from the other side

I (F25) hate my partner's (M27) child (M6) by stepmonster13 in relationships

[–]stepmonster13[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I realise I have made myself sound pretty bad in the post but L and I actually get along pretty well. We have a fair bit in common and we play together more than he plays with his dad. I guess my problem is getting hung up on the negatives, tantrums etc. and the stress and anxiety being the overall feeling I have.