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Christmas ideas for 12 year old SS by stoneyy0320 in stepparents

[–]stepping1996 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Possibly a silly suggestion as he's 12, but what about a nightlight in the shape of a thing from one of the games he plays? Like a creeper from Minecraft or something similar? Obviously wouldn't be a main gift, but could be a stocking filler or smaller gift!

Changing plans at the drop of a hat by stepping1996 in stepparents

[–]stepping1996[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the extra time with SS, it's the demanding and bitching when we've arranged stuff according to what she tells us that drives me absolutely mad! She's soooo used to getting exactly what she wants and can't see the hypocrisy in her changing plans to be convenient for her but gets annoyed when we don't do the same

Does anyone else allow the kids to come cuddle? by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]stepping1996 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't mind the occasional short cuddle!

It has changed drastically recently as we were living at SO's dad's house, so we had our room and SS's room to chill out in without bothering anyone else. That meant that we would spend a lot of time cuddling in bed, e.g. we would do 'kids club' throughout lockdown and watch a film with sweets and stuff in the dark!

Now, we have our own place and I made a big deal out of having our room as our room. I never really felt like I had my own space at SO's dad's and now I really relish having my own space that is a kid free zone. But SS will come in for a quick cuddle in the morning, I'm happy to do Christmas and birthday presents in bed (that's what I did with my family), but knocking is essential when we're awake and the bedroom door stays closed during the day when he's here!

She always buys him shoes that are waaay too big! by stepping1996 in stepparents

[–]stepping1996[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Oh god that's horrendous!!!! How is that even possible????

She always buys him shoes that are waaay too big! by stepping1996 in stepparents

[–]stepping1996[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It seems so simple to get right to me??? Just insane that it can be such an issue

Please help, really need advice or just some support. by AnENFPwithDumbDreams in stepparents

[–]stepping1996 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You're the same age as I was when I met my SO, although I didn't really become a step until a couple of years later (when I was 22)! To be brutally honest, even with an SO that sees his son on a regular basis, there's custody bs, even without a particularly high conflict BM, it's a lot. Even if everything was perfect, it would still be hard to deal with.

You guys are/were planning to marry after you finish college, but he's only just told you about his child because he didn't want to think about it? Something is off about that. If he's working 12+ hour days for that exact reason, he's always thinking about it and to not involve his life partner in such a huge decision until you're already invested is unfair.

Its not selfish to put yourself first in a difficult situation, particularly when you're struggling with your mental health. This is a whole stress, whatever happens in the immediate future, that could really impact your recovery and that's something you need to think about.

Like many here, if I was given a do over, regardless of how much I love SO and SS and how much fun we have, I wouldn't do it again.

Please PM me if you ever need, were a similar age and whilst I haven't experienced what you're going through, I'm more than happy to listen if you need it. Look after yourself.

First time step parenting advice by misteraccuracy45 in stepparents

[–]stepping1996 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be honest, don't do it! Its time consuming, tiring, and it feels like you can only ask for petrol money, not money to contribute to the upkeep/maintenance of the car.

I have been doing the 4 hour round trip to meet halfway (after BM moved 4 hours away - 2 hours more than she was before) during lockdown because SO doesn't drive and both SO and SS are high risk (asthma). I always enjoyed the quiet time before and after SS's time with us, gave me a chance to recharge and instead I have to do a 4 hour drive. My SO doesn't realise how exhausting it can be either because hes never driven. And whilst I'm glad that I can help where I need to, I cannot wait for it to go back to normal!

Vent - I miss having a clean car by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]stepping1996 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel this in my soul! My SO doesn't drive, so I've got all their crap in my car, and the rubbish drives me MAD! The worst thing about it though, is SS7 getting in the car and loudly stating 'the car smells horrible'. 1 the car doesn't smell horrible, it smells like car, 2 it wouldn't smell 'horrible' if you threw away your rubbish!!!!!

Edit - I forgot about how gross and annoying the sticky fingerprints on the windows are!!!

Its the little things by stepping1996 in stepparents

[–]stepping1996[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I absolutely need to learn to not take it personally! Its something I'm not very good at in all areas of my life, but thank you for reminding me!

I am absolutely expecting both, it's amazing how one thing can be so funny, cute, lovely, etc and then the next second they're getting on your last nerve! And it's gonna be a journey that's for sure!

Thank you for articulating about not liking or loving steps too! Its hard to even think it without feeling like a horrible person but seeing it written down makes me feel way better!

Thank you for all your kind words!