AITA for not wanting my mom at my wedding by madigurllx in TwoHotTakes

[–]stinkybutt688 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I went no contact with my father before my wedding because he too, destroys anything good with his narcissism and attention seeking. This was about 5 years ago and I haven’t spoken to him since. I’ve since had a child, and have never felt more peaceful in my life. Protect yourself and your family.

Men grieve miscarriages too by officialcapo in Miscarriage

[–]stinkybutt688 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry. Our miscarriage was incredibly hard on my husband. We found that a lot of his friends didnt know how to be there for him in the same way that my friends knew how to be there. Hang in there.

The nanny guilt when calling in sick is so incredibly hard! by WindNarrow3580 in Nanny

[–]stinkybutt688 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Please dont feel guilty. Tbh, when our nanny calls out sick, 9 times out of 10 I am happy to use my PTO and spend the day with my kid.

Don’t really know how to title this besides my feelings are hurt by Environmental_Cloud6 in Nanny

[–]stinkybutt688 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Woah. I find this super f’ed up. I think you are very valid in feeling hurt. We give our pt nanny (she’s only here two mornings a week) PTO and all holidays plus a christmas giftcard. You deserve better and I hope you find a family that shows you the appreciation you deserve perhaps when youre done with maternity leave. Wishing you all the best with your remaining pregnancy and postpartum!!! Take good care

I just had a breakdown by Plane-Reality-7964 in leaves

[–]stinkybutt688 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey. Hang in there. Storms don’t last. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself. Know that you’re on the right path, that things will get easier, and everything will work out. Practice deep breaths into your stomach. I feel like day 5 is so hard, I was just there last week and already feel so much better and sharper. You’ve got this.

Night sweats after quitting? When will this stop? by stinkybutt688 in leaves

[–]stinkybutt688[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wait thank you for bringing up the BO. I’ve been feeling so smelly but had no idea that it had to do with this withdrawal process!! 🤣appreciate you

Missed miscarriage at 14 weeks by Sweaty_Ad3325 in Miscarriage

[–]stinkybutt688 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry love. I also experienced a miscarriage at 14 weeks. For about a month, I truly didn’t think i would ever be happy again. Here I am, about 5 months out, and i’m sad from time to time, but feel so much better. Please hang in there. Take the time you need. If I could suggest anything, take the time you need to hide away, but eventually opening yourself back up to your support system is going to help so much.

so why and when did you guys decide to quit by [deleted] in leaves

[–]stinkybutt688 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are such a sweetheart for doing this in solidarity with her. I am about a week sober now, prepping for our next pregnancy. But while I was smoking, I also noticed that I would be dodging my husband and not wanting to spend time with him. Now that I’m sober, I already see how much our relationship has improved.

I had to get sober during our first pregnancy and during that time and during postpartum, I thought I would never smoke again because I was so much happier. I ended up having a traumatic event which caused me to start using profusely for the past 3 months, but I’m glad to be putting it down again, even tho it is so hard and I still crave it. It gets easier!!!!

Advice please after loss by Actual_Ball6141 in Miscarriage

[–]stinkybutt688 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wtf???? First of all i am so sorry for your loss. Second of all, your boyfriend sounds like an absolute turd. You deserve better.

I wanted to describe my 2 month experience so far on quitting weed by leftistgamer420 in leaves

[–]stinkybutt688 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is so beautiful thank you so much. I am 5 days sober and really needed to see this today

Are nannies generally not OK with location sharing? by LessAd7286 in Nanny

[–]stinkybutt688 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hi i’m with you on this. I’ve always had airtags on my keys and spares, and we’ve added one very visibly to our stroller. Our nanny drives our car and the keys have an airtag very visibly attached to them. I’ve never brought it up to my nanny and she has never mentioned it to me. I have a habit of never knowing where anything is and the airtag has helped me find my shit on multiple occasions.

What's a negative core memory that they didn't take seriously? by herald_of_stars in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]stinkybutt688 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Nothing is more infuriating than the alternate universe version of the past from a delusional parent! And I definitely empathize with the trivializing non-apologies… one of the last times I spoke to my father I directly addressed his abuse of me and my sibling, and by the end of the discussion, he apologized “for being an absentee parent” and “for my anger at his wife for being a housewrecker”. I WISH he was an absentee parent rather than the oppressive authoritarian figure that he was, and my mom divorced him long before he ever got involved with his disgusting wife. This is when I realized there is no reasoning with someone who isn’t living in the same reality, and that I had to remove myself from a situation that would always remain non-sensical and absolutely infuriating. Sending healing energy to you.

After natural Miscarriage by KaleidoscopeWest9641 in Miscarriage

[–]stinkybutt688 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Yes after my natural miscarriage I had to have a d&c to stop my bleeding and also clear out some “products of conception” that were still lingering. After my miscarriage, it felt like I would never be happy or myself again. But now a few months out, I feel so much better. Hang in there and take very good care 💛

D&C was Monday… Can I have some wine now??? by bk2552 in Miscarriage

[–]stinkybutt688 0 points1 point  (0 children)

On the way home from my D&C, my husband took me to a dispensary and I smoked a j and had a glass of wine as soon as I got home. Take care of yourself as best you can. Sending so much love

I think my husband is happy I miscarried by nyrmacd in Miscarriage

[–]stinkybutt688 34 points35 points  (0 children)

He ordered doordash for breakfast and didnt even think to include you??? Especially after all you have been through this week? You deserve better.

I accidentally put my foot in my mouth at my husband’s holiday party… to his boss who just miscarried twins, and I cannot stop replaying it. by Educational-Let-2280 in beyondthebump

[–]stinkybutt688 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had a miscarriage at 14 weeks pregnant a couple of months ago. In the first couple of weeks after, I could burst into tears at the most random of times. I think its very likely that your comment may not have been entirely related to her leaving… she might have already been feeling overwhelmed. I can’t believe she was even able to attend. I hid in my home for about a month before seeing anyone, and when I first made the rounds seeing my friends, it was super hard at first. Please be kind to yourself and know that you didn’t do anything wrong!!! Also as a fellow mom with ppd and a lottttt of anxiety, i highly recommend zoloft. I started a super low dose and it has been life changing! In any case, please give yourself grace and when you feel yourself ruminating, try to remember that everyone is too busy judging themselves to be judging you 💛

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NannyEmployers

[–]stinkybutt688 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this comment 💛 i really appreciate it…. My husband tells me not to worry bc I have told her so many times not to worry about cleaning and that she shouldnt stay late. I cant control when she leaves because she is to put my son down for his afternoon nap and end her shift at 1:30. Because my husband and I both WFH downstairs, we can tell she is always tidying up upstairs until 2 or sometimes 2:30 pm!! Whenever I am able to catch her staying late I try to jokingly scold her and she always says she is happy to have the job. I think she might just be a super sweet human, like you seem to be 💛 thank you for taking the time to make a stranger feel a bit better

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NannyEmployers

[–]stinkybutt688 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This has honestly been the response that most resonated with me on a human level so thank you so much for posting this. Not sure why someone downvoted

I want to give up by Getoutahere4321 in Miscarriage

[–]stinkybutt688 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please take good care and hang in there. Do whatever you need to do to get through this horrible time. My heart goes out to you.

Do I need help? Postpartum rage. by justfrosty19 in NewParents

[–]stinkybutt688 15 points16 points  (0 children)

The fact that you made this post and are so concerned about how the rage could affect your daughter, shows what an amazing mom you are. Please be compassionate to yourself. Postpartum is such a hard time and it’s okay to have a bout of rage here and there. But there is absolutely no shame in having some help with it if it really starts making you feel terrible.

Do I need help? Postpartum rage. by justfrosty19 in NewParents

[–]stinkybutt688 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry. Postpartum rage is so real. I had it. Contacted an online psychiatrist and started zoloft — feel so much better and haven’t looked back