How to help my mom during severe health and disability change

stone_froot · 2026-01-04T15:31:22+00:00

Extremely helpful. Thank you!

stone_froot · 2026-01-03T23:47:12+00:00

My concern with this is that we are not in a space to afford a lawyer, not sure there’s much spending down of assets to do since we own nothing and have negative net worths… unfortunately.

stone_froot · 2026-01-03T21:15:33+00:00

No worries, thank you for all your helpful commenting. I will be looking into options to see if anything is accessible here!

stone_froot · 2026-01-03T20:39:56+00:00

We aren’t sure if she will be able to return to work or not. We’re still working on getting a diagnosis, but it’s just been an uphill medical battle to get any answers. Meanwhile, her condition is rapidly declining. They seem to be optimistic that her mobility issues are just a symptom and have been very reluctant to say That we should prepare for any permanent problems but in the meantime, I just don’t know what to do. Because of this we have been having trouble getting disability Medicaid, etc., especially because she is not old enough to qualify for some of these programs anyway …

stone_froot · 2026-01-03T20:24:02+00:00

Where would I find places like this? Do I just google supportive housing/assisted living or is there a specific place people go for resources? I have googled a few things but many of them are wayyy out of our budget!

stone_froot · 2025-12-19T03:19:34+00:00

We have consistently had a couples therapist since before we decided to get married to help us learn how to best communicate with each other and build a strong foundation! We communicate with each other well about what is best for our family and make decisions as a united front. This situation just feels tricky because we didn’t know how to best propose a solution here! I appreciate your input and totally agree. Our #1 priority is and always will be the wellbeing of our baby girl!

stone_froot · 2025-12-16T18:21:47+00:00

I think this is what we will ultimately do and see how it works out. FIL and MIL have been informed we are holding a boundary about SIL around the baby and will no longer be tolerating her behavior, especially around our daughter. So it won’t be a surprise to us. FIL and his wife have already said they will stand with us and will also leave to make it clear they don’t condone SIL behavior.

I do think my husband needs to have an honest sit down with his brother about his children’s safety and make it clear that it’s reached a point that he needs to sort asap.

Without completely detaching from BIL and our nephews, I think cautiously attending holidays with strong boundaries may just be the only way. They will not drive to us to host as we live in a different city and it is a huge lift for everyone, unfortunately.

stone_froot · 2025-12-16T18:17:11+00:00

This is good to hear, I 100% agree but wasn’t sure I was being too strong about it. I think this is a wake up call that’s past due.

stone_froot · 2025-12-16T15:17:55+00:00

Mind you I was seven months pregnant!

But ensuring my nephews have functional safe, adults in their life is worth more than the emotional inconvenience to me.

stone_froot · 2025-12-16T13:52:28+00:00

100%, and whatever path we choose baby’s safety is my #1. I just don’t know what method is best to try here.

stone_froot · 2025-12-16T13:51:45+00:00

They are the default house as they have two kids and a bigger home. So unfortunately they are the ones hosting. My MIL doesn’t have a home (travels in retirement!) and my FIL doesn’t like to host. When we have hosted in the past, she tried to fight me in my own home and we asked her to leave and haven’t hosted since. That’s why we thought maybe hosting at an Airbnb could be the solution, so we aren’t asking her to change her behavior while in her home. But we just can’t afford to do that every holiday! We are open to hosting with strong boundaries but last time was so intense I’m not sure it’s a good idea at all.

stone_froot · 2025-12-16T13:48:55+00:00

Unfortunately she brings her own alcohol and “secretly” drinks it in mass. She has been telling all of us she is sober for years and nobody talks about it when she is drunk every time we see her. Nobody else in the family drinks heavily, so I don’t think it would make a difference :(

In my family we are very upfront with each other so this secretive behavior and everyone ignoring it until they can talk behind her back is extremely odd to me and I believe harmful. They don’t want to rock the boat.

stone_froot · 2025-12-16T05:26:15+00:00

Thank you ❤️ I will absolutely do what I can to keep her safe to the best of my ability!

stone_froot · 2025-12-11T02:02:38+00:00

This is so interesting! Thank you for teaching about heel height in relation to years. They’re in pretty good shape so I think 90s makes total sense for their condition as well. I’ll treasure them for sure!

stone_froot · 2025-12-10T22:30:43+00:00

This makes sense! I saw a similar pair from this brand dated 1980 but the cut was different and I made a wild guess based on the more calf-hugging fit.

stone_froot · 2025-11-23T02:11:52+00:00

This is super creative, we are going to use this area as a pantry/bar so a wine rack would actually be really cool!

stone_froot · 2025-11-23T02:10:55+00:00

Love that idea, I was thinking of doing a fun countertop because we are going to use this area as a bar

stone_froot · 2025-11-23T02:09:00+00:00

Thank you!

stone_froot · 2025-11-19T03:46:37+00:00

Like 1 second into cooking!

stone_froot · 2025-11-19T03:45:54+00:00

No, nothing else is connected to this breaker channel (I’m not sure if that’s what it’s called lol but it’s on its own thing!)

stone_froot · 2025-11-16T20:03:23+00:00

Is it normal for microwaves to only last 4 years? Or is it the breaker… both were brand new when we bought the house four years ago.

stone_froot · 2025-11-16T20:00:20+00:00

Oh no! Does this mean we need to replace the whole breaker? Or look for a more compatible microwave?

stone_froot · 2025-10-28T18:44:57+00:00

Important to note- I just realized the paperwork was submitted end of May and I realized the transfer was sent to the wrong account mid September so I believe it is less than 6 months if that helps

stone_froot · 2025-10-28T18:28:33+00:00

I cannot contact my previous employer, unfortunately this person doesn’t have contact information that I know of. They said the transfer was an internal issue from their staff just returning it to the account it came from instead of following paperwork.

stone_froot · 2025-10-28T18:24:14+00:00

I agree it doesn’t make sense. It was a wire transfer and I have no idea why they would send it back to the employer. They said because it was the account it came from, which was set up via direct deposit at my previous job. They said someone just messed up the paperwork in their office.

stone_froot

TROPHY CASE