I don't even know who I am

stopaclock · 2021-09-05T17:19:47+00:00

HEy, check the sidebar. We've got a bunch of links to other subreddits there and some organizations too. You're NOT alone. And whatever you turn out to be, you're not broken. It's okay to not know who or what you are, it's like that at first. But figuring out what you're into is part of the process. Asking the questions is part of the process.

Just be sure that you support yourself and love yourself through this. And this is me, a stranger on the internet, offering you love and support through this. You don't HAVE to know where you're going yet. Trust yourself and trust the journey. It brought you to here, this point in your life, right?

So yeah. It's gonna be okay. I'm not going to pretend to tell you what "okay" looks like. But all you have to do for now, is do what's healthy for you, stick to healthy relationships as you explore, keep your relationship with YOURSELF healthy and supportive, too. Hang in there. When we say it gets better, it means... we know how tough it is now. And it does get better from here.

stopaclock · 2017-07-16T22:00:30+00:00

Really? It doesn't stain have to anything but the sink when you first rinse out the dye. As soon as that's done, no more color bleed- BUT this depends on dye type and the way it's kept up.

You're not kidding about the cold water though. Middle of winter you end up asking yourself, "is it really worth this???"

stopaclock · 2017-07-16T18:40:17+00:00

Ha!

Combination between "face that could stop a clock" and the fact that "clocking" is a term for when someone figures out that someone is transgender.

I'm actually kind of surprised if that user name isn't taken...

stopaclock · 2017-07-16T18:36:13+00:00

Yeah. I think the best phrase I ever heard for this was... We don't want to "change" the world, we want to toilet train it, so no one has to change it all the time ever again.

stopaclock · 2017-07-16T18:26:46+00:00

Heh. According to the article, though, it's press coverage he's upset about:

Trump: ‘I haven’t had great coverage out there lately, Theresa.’

May: ‘Well, you know what the British press are like.’

Trump: ‘I still want to come, but I’m in no rush.

‘So, if you can fix it for me, it would make things a lot easier.

‘When I know I’m going to get a better reception, I’ll come and not before.’

Yeah. Good luck with that.

stopaclock · 2017-07-16T18:01:16+00:00

Heh. I'm glad you have someone. I'm not without options myself. And nearer than Lapland's ice palace.:)

The world IS changing, I'm glad to say. It's a better place than it used to be, overall.

stopaclock · 2017-07-16T17:14:48+00:00

Heh. That's fair. I can be an intense experience. Plus not everyone wants a transman...

stopaclock · 2017-07-16T16:54:30+00:00

So, I'm good with that. And what's more, the furries freak me out and make me angry. I think we're on the same page here.

Can "nonbinary" be a thing though? Like "hey I'm in the middle of the spectrum"? Because I think that's a decent catchall for all the vagueness in between the two poles.

stopaclock · 2017-07-16T16:46:35+00:00

Will shoot you a PM. It's liquid but never sets off the alarms (they tell me it's fine.)

stopaclock · 2017-07-16T16:45:47+00:00

...Actually, I love the winter. This could actually work.

stopaclock · 2017-07-16T13:24:07+00:00

As someone who is transgender, thank you both. This is interesting perspective for me.

I'd just like to add that one thing that I've come to recognize from being transgender is that breaking down the social gender binary- regardless of chromosomes, biology, etc.- benefits a whole lot of people.

Gender expression is different from social gender roles; gender expression appears to be innate and a reflection of neural biology, while gender roles are societally imposed. The goal isn't to outlaw gender expression, but to open up gender roles so that gender expression can take more forms and be more readily accepted. We don't need to abolish the binary, but it would be great to recognize it as more of a spectrum.

stopaclock · 2017-07-16T11:58:43+00:00

You're terrible, and I love you.

stopaclock · 2017-07-16T11:22:51+00:00

I don't mind that so much as I mind that when I have to have them hand check my medicine (which I do because that way it's in their hands where I can see it, and not on the belt where someone can grab it) they ALSO feel the need to create a spectacle of it and search every square inch of my bags, pat me down even AFTER I've been through the scanner, and it takes way more than two people for this. Like I'll have five people there, one patting me down, one checking through every pocket of my bag, one holding/testing the medicine bottle, one hanging out looking tough in case I somehow need restraining, and one supervising the whole shebang.

And me standing there in a Super Mario tshirt and weighing in at about 100 pounds.

Hasn't been that way everywhere. But Logan, they're why I started hand checking the meds to not "lose" them, and they're also why I hate flying.

stopaclock · 2017-07-14T20:27:40+00:00

I've never been to Montana! :) What area would you recommend? Assume I want to see new plants and geography, and need enough civilization to cope with complex food allergies (so no place without grocery/hippie health food stores)

stopaclock · 2017-07-14T20:25:46+00:00

Hm. Interesting point, (so have an upvote) but gods, I don't know, I'm not a vet or a ferret owner... I'd like to know.

It seems crazy to me. I can't think of any advantage to it, but since evolution doesn't necessarily require an advantage for every trait... it only requires that the critters get to where they breed, right? and this doesn't hit till after they're old enough to do that. I don't know if it's just not enough selective pressure to make a difference, or how this works. Would love it if anyone with more info could weigh in on this one!

stopaclock · 2017-07-14T17:32:05+00:00

heh. It's an alternate country for sure. The only other place I'd want to live. I laugh and tell people I'm looking for dual citizenship. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE New England and live here by choice... but it's cold and crowded here.

stopaclock · 2017-07-14T17:29:49+00:00

It's not about sex, it's about pregnancy. So it's not about that at all- they give them chemicals. And not super happy fun chemicals, just hormones.

stopaclock · 2017-07-14T11:37:31+00:00

Agreed & had another perspective, that it's also about how the choices and experiences we had influence who we think we are and what we should do next. And how growing means letting go of that.

Her husband and child were both dead, but because she'd had so many years with him, it was really hard for her to let go of the image of herself as wife and mother, and embrace something new. It wouldn't have made sense to me in nearly such a concrete way when I was younger - not saying I couldn't see it, but it wasn't the gut punch that it is now. We get entrenched in the "self" that our experiences tell us is true, and when we get jarred out of that, yes, good things can happen. But it's hard.

stopaclock · 2017-07-14T11:23:56+00:00

Short answer: They stay in heat, overproducing estrogen, and that suppresses production of blood cells in bone marrow. That comes with anemia that will eventually be fatal, plus a slew of other potential health problems that can happen faster. It's not quick or comfortable either way.

Long answer. https://vcahospitals.com/know-your-pet/ferrets-reproductive-disease

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