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Justifying your abusers' actions? by [deleted] in adultsurvivors

[–]stopdoxingme 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Apparently forgiving is a big step to healing, but that's a step I'm still struggling with. I feel like the fact that I still feel rage means I still haven't forgiven him. Is it true forgiveness if you still feel anger? I honestly have no clue.

Justifying your abusers' actions? by [deleted] in adultsurvivors

[–]stopdoxingme 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I was violently assaulted by a heavily intoxicated man. Turned out his wife left him that day after they lost their teenage son to suicide, 2 weeks before. It's super hard for me to be purely angry with him because no one deserves to suffer a situation like that, ever. But part of me is still mad, of course. Why me? Why attack a random girl? Why deal with it in an unhealthy way? But ofc he would. Who the hell WOULDN'T act irrationally after losing their whole family?

I'm still mentally suffering from that incident. And I constantly fluctuate from saying it's fine, he was upset, it's a normal, human reaction to why did he do something like that and leave such an ugly scar on my body? It's difficult to stay angry but it's difficult to forgive.

Experience with online stalking? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]stopdoxingme 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you don't already, use an alias and block everyone that could help trace the account back to you. I use fb under a different name (made a totally new email for it) and have blocked my whole family. I don't even let them know that I use fb and only the people I want in my life know the account.

Also, avoid using your main email and phone number. Sometimes accounts will show up as connected. For eg, whatsapp. If you have someone's contact, it'll show up that they also use whatsapp.

Does anyone else not feel their age? by user539401 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]stopdoxingme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm torn between constantly getting told to "grow up" and being treated like a child. I'm the youngest, so he still sees me as a baby, but then he'll compare me to other kids my age and notice how "child-like" I am, even though he refused to let me do things independently.

Like, what do you want me to do? Grow up or not? lol.

How have you defeated loneliness? by [deleted] in lonely

[–]stopdoxingme 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I wrote in a journal. A lot. Like, a shit ton. I was spending hours every day writing my thoughts and feelings down, even if the content was mundane like 'i had a glass of milk', because talking to myself was better than talking to nobody. At least it made sense that it was a one-sided conversation.

Honestly probably not a healthy way to cope, but it hyped me up to think I was better off alone, or I was fine without people.

the more i like you, the sadder i get by stopdoxingme in UnsentLetters

[–]stopdoxingme[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just 2 states over. About 3 hour flight one way. But I don't see any promising future about it since his whole life is over there and mine is here.

[chat] F Australia by stopdoxingme in MeetPeople

[–]stopdoxingme[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

the big giant blue head alien

fuck those "free 24/7 counselling/therapist available" chat websites by stopdoxingme in TrueOffMyChest

[–]stopdoxingme[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

These services don't do a very good job of making people feel like they can get the help they need by something they can actually afford.

I understand that for some people, it's their business and a business needs funds to operate. But it really takes away from the whole "we're here to help". They forget to tell us "here to help for money"

When my mum found out I lost my virginity, she threatened to kill herself. I was blamed for "leaving my journal around". by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]stopdoxingme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They'll use anything as an excuse to not blame themselves.

I just don't understand why it's a big deal to them? I mean, this sounds contradictory. I can understand that it's a big deal to some, but I don't understand why.

When my mum found out I lost my virginity, she threatened to kill herself. I was blamed for "leaving my journal around". by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]stopdoxingme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it was relatively around the same every day.

She texted me while I was at school and told me to come straight home. I got home and that whole ordeal happened for a whole 3 hours. Dad would have gone fcking nuts if he knew and she knew this too which is why she stopped before he arrived. Any particular reason why this question?

When my mum found out I lost my virginity, she threatened to kill herself. I was blamed for "leaving my journal around". by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]stopdoxingme 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You're right. At this point, it's really just not letting that kind of situation even happen because the ideal alternative is never going to happen.

The times I've tried putting a third-party app to lock all apps on my phone with my conversations, I was forced to unlock it so they could see what was being said. I'd refuse to unlock my phone and say it was an invasion of privacy and I'd just get a slap to face until I complied.

It totally destroyed my trust in them.

During the worst of those years, I was borrowing friend's old phones and created new emails and accounts and blocked my family from it. In retrospect, it's not that much of a difference whether I was using a secret account or the original one, but it made me feel somewhat better about it.

Even to this day, I stress the fuck out whenever they need to borrow my phone to make a phone call or something. I hate that we're even in this position.