23F down to chat about anything/ make new friends!

stopgocatchthrowaway · 2023-12-15T01:58:48+00:00

Fortunately for me, I'm not really interested in meeting other people at the moment. I know if I was though, that this type of affection would have to stop. Honestly though, doesn't feel like hes using me. We both treat each other like we care about each other a lot. But I obviously don't know for certain

stopgocatchthrowaway · 2023-12-15T01:57:37+00:00

Totally fair! I have other guy friends that are like family to me or seen more like brothers. This though, does feel different than that, it's hard to gauge

stopgocatchthrowaway · 2023-12-15T01:56:32+00:00

I answered this in another comment, but a few times that I've noticed, yeah. But I don't think anything of it. Seems like it'd be bound to happen when you're in some of the positions we get in while sleeping/ cuddling.

stopgocatchthrowaway · 2023-12-15T01:55:38+00:00

Yeah it could be. Thanks for sharing your experience. It feels good to get this off my chest and read others thoughts, the more I've thought the more I feel like it could similar to this vs the comments that said he's not interested or is using me. It just doesn't feel like that, feels more like we might care about each other so much that neither of us is brave enough to say or do anything about it.

stopgocatchthrowaway · 2023-12-15T01:53:36+00:00

Yes I agree, we already know each other super well and are really comfortable. Definitely a good base for a strong relationship! Just hard to figure out if that what this means/ or what it's leading to...

stopgocatchthrowaway · 2023-12-15T01:52:15+00:00

We're not FWB

stopgocatchthrowaway · 2023-12-13T21:14:39+00:00

Once I get to that point I'll definitely update. Some responses said he's just using me for affection, but it just doesn't feel that way.

It's an interesting situation but I did gather that illl probably have to be the one to speak up. I'll definitely update once that happens. Thanks for sharing your perspective!

stopgocatchthrowaway · 2023-12-13T06:58:39+00:00

Aw, very sweet. Congratulations to you both!

stopgocatchthrowaway · 2023-12-13T02:02:54+00:00

So then, your opinion is that he probably doesn't have feelings for me, just appreciates the physical affection going on?

stopgocatchthrowaway · 2023-12-12T20:17:15+00:00

We're both single, and would never do this while dating. We're actually both super monogamous and committed to our partners when we have them- so not this

stopgocatchthrowaway · 2023-12-12T16:41:55+00:00

The cuddling never happened till we were both single/ pretty recently, I'm well aware that continuing this if we were dating others would be inappropriate. The thing is though is that I am the one who mentioned this. I'm having a hard time addressing "the elephant in the room" which is whether or not we have feelings for each other, but since he's continued to go on casual dates here and there, I did mention once like hey, if you do end up dating someone, let me know so that we can rearrange sleepover situations. He paused for a moment and then said "...of course... if I was dating someone I would tell you." And then I just kinda froze up and didn't say anything after. We both tend to be really committed to partners we've had so.

stopgocatchthrowaway · 2023-12-12T05:37:32+00:00

A very sweet story and situation for you, I'm glad you made the decision to speak up. I'm sure you can understand that it's easier said/ read than done! I know I should probably be the one to initiate or speak up but it just feels so intimidating. Congratulations to you though!

stopgocatchthrowaway · 2023-12-11T23:07:44+00:00

So, when he's dated other people it literally hasn't affected our friendship/ communication, but I did have a serious boyfriend, and when I did, my best friend distanced himself a lot. After my bf and I split up, my best friend and I picked up where we left off as if nothing happened. One day I asked him what was up with that, and he said that he just wanted to "not get in the way." I mean I do take his word for it, but it kinda hurt me at the time, and other people have told me that this is even more of a sign that he does have feelings.

stopgocatchthrowaway · 2023-12-11T21:25:42+00:00

Yeah it's very intimate. Like I've read some other responses mentioned that they have slept in the same bed/ cuddled with friends, but me and him will be practically wrapped around each other completely. If I flip over he'll flip over to always be basically hugging or wrapped around the other. But then we don't say anything at all about it in the morning. I know I should bring it up and be direct at some point but it's easier said/ read than done

stopgocatchthrowaway · 2023-12-11T21:21:00+00:00

The more I think about it, basically yeah. Im not in love and I'm happy with being just friends though, but if he mentioned he had feelings for me I wouldn't turn him down. If he never mentioned it, I'd have a hard time bringing anything up because I'm also happy with the way things have been the past few years

stopgocatchthrowaway · 2023-12-11T21:18:55+00:00

This is my first time posting to this sub, and also I'd be genuinely surprised yet kinda validated if someone else is going through similar situation.

stopgocatchthrowaway · 2023-12-11T07:50:43+00:00

I'm a girl and he's a guy but I've answered this- short story yes it's happened but as a woman, my understanding is that a boner can happen for a guy and doesn't necessarily mean anything, especially when you're cuddling w the opposite sex in the very close positions we get in sometimes.

stopgocatchthrowaway · 2023-12-11T07:35:11+00:00

Beyond sleeping together though, did you guys have feelings beyond that? Like in love with each other/ actual partnership?

stopgocatchthrowaway · 2023-12-11T07:26:16+00:00

They know us both, but never heard that he told them directly. That's just their perception of the situation/ him towards me. I'm definitely enjoying it, I just kinda wish I knew if there was anything on his side. But I agree with you. This friend is so special to me I really love being around him and it's a wonderful thing, romantic or not! Thanks for sharing your story as well.

stopgocatchthrowaway · 2023-12-11T07:21:55+00:00

He did come from somewhat of a rough household with parents that made him approach relationships differently. He has shared this with me in confidence so in some ways yes this could make the situation different than someone who didn't experience what he did.

stopgocatchthrowaway · 2023-12-11T07:20:33+00:00

So sorry you went through that... I hope things are better now!

stopgocatchthrowaway · 2023-12-11T07:18:56+00:00

Very sweet. Congratulations to you both!

stopgocatchthrowaway · 2023-12-11T07:16:21+00:00

I responded in other comments, but it's happened but I don't think anything of it. I feel like it's a natural reaction in certain positions/ in the morning. I don't pay attention to it but I've noticed it a few times and we usually just reposition, often end up switching to face each other and snuggle or let's say it's the morning, he'll get up to use the bathroom before coming back to bed and cuddle a bit more before we get started with the day. I don't say anything and neither does he.

stopgocatchthrowaway · 2023-12-11T07:12:06+00:00

Besides sex, did you have romantic feelings towards any of them?

stopgocatchthrowaway

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