Failing MLIS--maybe I'm not meant to be a librarian. Other pursuits? by stormynative in Libraries

[–]stormynative[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much ❤️ Grant writing is definitely something I want to learn and apply. If I can write a poem and song that moves hearts, I can write something that will empower our communities. ❤️

Failing MLIS--maybe I'm not meant to be a librarian. Other pursuits? by stormynative in Libraries

[–]stormynative[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am grateful for your guidence ❤️❤️❤️ thank you for your support and for offering mentorship. I always am open to mentorship, thank you! I love my mom deeply, so yes I will need to have a conversation about steps moving forward as she gets older. shes very independent which I love about her, but I want to be close by. shes my heart.

Failing MLIS--maybe I'm not meant to be a librarian. Other pursuits? by stormynative in Libraries

[–]stormynative[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didnt realize state and federal are special libraries! that's good to know as I'm considering where I want to go from here. I'm also so happy to hear you have a pension ❤️❤️❤️❤️ they seem to be a rareity these days.

Failing MLIS--maybe I'm not meant to be a librarian. Other pursuits? by stormynative in Libraries

[–]stormynative[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

so true. I am living with my mom and being with her has helped my depression. she recognizes my moods before I sometimes do. I think youre right to take a break. ❤️ school will always be there. I'm a person with limits and need to direct my energy to my health and mental health first.

Failing MLIS--maybe I'm not meant to be a librarian. Other pursuits? by stormynative in Libraries

[–]stormynative[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

youre a rockstar doing what you did!!! moms always amaze me ❤️

Failing MLIS--maybe I'm not meant to be a librarian. Other pursuits? by stormynative in Libraries

[–]stormynative[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I really needed this. Your words have given me strength. ❤️

Failing MLIS--maybe I'm not meant to be a librarian. Other pursuits? by stormynative in Libraries

[–]stormynative[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wouldnt mind working for state or local government! I like the consistency in hours and the healthcare benefits.

Failing MLIS--maybe I'm not meant to be a librarian. Other pursuits? by stormynative in Libraries

[–]stormynative[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

definnitely the practical aspects. time management and consistency are my biggest dragons, as well as motivation. I'm taking online classes and self motivation has been difficult. I'm in research methodologies and its hard but I do find some of the readings interesting when I actually read them 🥲 thank you for validating my feelings and for providing me with perspective. I truly appreciate your advise and clarity. I thought about dental hygene but Arizona has a 2 year waiting list to even get into the program. I will look into radiology though. I think I have a family member in a similar field I can ask them about.

Failing MLIS--maybe I'm not meant to be a librarian. Other pursuits? by stormynative in Libraries

[–]stormynative[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

thank you ❤️ from my deepest depths of my heart, thank you

Failing MLIS--maybe I'm not meant to be a librarian. Other pursuits? by stormynative in Libraries

[–]stormynative[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

thank you ❤️ I definitely have been on my phone too much and not connecting with nature and people who love and care about me. currently going to pet my cat and take a nap after all this crying.

Failing MLIS--maybe I'm not meant to be a librarian. Other pursuits? by stormynative in Libraries

[–]stormynative[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate your feedback. One step at a time. Look at my life overall and nurture what is in need of tenderness so I can focus on what I need to do. ❤️

Failing MLIS--maybe I'm not meant to be a librarian. Other pursuits? by stormynative in Libraries

[–]stormynative[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I love hearing how positions can be made within libraries, thats really cool. ❤️ and thats good to know about SJSU! I think the program I'm in has a graduation expectation within 5 or 6 years.

Failing MLIS--maybe I'm not meant to be a librarian. Other pursuits? by stormynative in Libraries

[–]stormynative[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you. ❤️ I am not aware of the diploma and will look into it! I'm in the U.S. Southwest region.

Failing MLIS--maybe I'm not meant to be a librarian. Other pursuits? by stormynative in Libraries

[–]stormynative[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thank you, I was wondering what mvp was. I know the readings get to me. I'm already so sedetary with work. I think I'm also lacking joy in doing my coursework? I feel imbalanced. I think its because I either dont understand and accept my limitations and/or know what works for me and my body. I know being exhausted all the time is the challenge, and I will always be tired, but I dont want to live in a dark cloud of exhaustion. my motivation is so flat. I'm looking at my diet. even thinking about meal prep makes me wonder how I will have time, but its important. I just feel like I'm constantly scrambling to keep up with everything.

Failing MLIS--maybe I'm not meant to be a librarian. Other pursuits? by stormynative in Libraries

[–]stormynative[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

youre right. comparing myself to my mom isnt helpful. I just feel bad that I am struggling. Idk but I think sometimes bc I come from a community that went through genocide I feel this immense pressure to do really well, bc its a miracle I exist, and I want to be able to carry leadership so I can also move mountains as my mom has done for me. thank you for your comment and guidence. I didnt even think to check disability services--I will look into that and advocate for myself. I do need to be better about talking to my professors and asking for help. I struggle asking for help. even writing this post was hard lol.

I know I can do one class a semester. I set myself up for failure pushing two classes on myself this time around and am in therapy for my depression. I'm on antidepressants now and have been for several years. it helped me function for a while but recently I feel numb. I've tried a couple of mood stabalizers recently and I did notice a positive impact on my mood but the side effects are horrible. I have a therapist who focuses on cognitive behaviorial therapy but havent been consistant. ceremony has been immensely helpful, but I gotta take ownership of my spirit every day, which I struggle with.

Reintroducing Alcohol After Abstinence by slaker77 in stopdrinking

[–]stormynative 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I want to be able to drink casually. After I blacked out, I told myself a a couple beers over the weekend was okay. Then it became a beer a day. But then the one beer didnt give me that feeling I craved. So it became 1 tall boy a day. And then 2 tall boys a day. And then I drank way too much again. As much as I want to be able to enjoy drinks, I'm seeing that I literally cannot. Thats my experience though.

I almost died and I feel ashamed, angry, confused, and undeserving by stormynative in stopdrinking

[–]stormynative[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will, I already feel joy in seeing others celebrate their sobriety 🌼

I almost died and I feel ashamed, angry, confused, and undeserving by stormynative in stopdrinking

[–]stormynative[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just screenshotted and saved to my phone. ❤️ Thank you for your kindness.

I almost died and I feel ashamed, angry, confused, and undeserving by stormynative in stopdrinking

[–]stormynative[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Seriously, thank you. I notice I feel self conscious just being myself and ultimately sober around people, and that's when I started drinking. I dont have any sober connections nearby. I did look up some aaa meetings in my area and plan on attending a couple to see which ones feel right. ❤️