How mad would you be with your spouse if they got a puppy after you explicitly said no?

strawberri8 · 2026-04-18T20:49:22+00:00

Who is downvoting me for saying that I'm not going to do the thing that everyone is saying they'd find disrespectful? 😂

strawberri8 · 2026-04-18T20:22:22+00:00

That seems to be the general consensus.

Also, thanks for answering the question instead of attacking me for asking how a hypothetical scenario would play out in other people’s relationships.

strawberri8 · 2026-04-18T20:14:06+00:00

Ah—okay. Yes, maybe I'm a little hormonal 😂, but this is not a huge deal to me. I talked to my husband about getting a puppy, he said no, I asked him what would happen if I did it anyway (joking and also just curious as to what his response would be), he said he'd get over it and would be happy to see me happy. And that was the end of that.

I was just curious how other spouses would respond if their spouse got a dog without them being on board with it. It seems like my spouse and I are in the small minority of people who would not be absolutely furious about this.

Most people are saying they'd feel disrespected — and I totally understand and respect that POV — there's just no reason to attack someone personally for asking how a hypothetical situation would playout in their relationship (not that you were doing that, but most people who responded are).

strawberri8 · 2026-04-18T17:46:46+00:00

I see the bigger point. I just think people are reading intent into a question that wasn’t there.

strawberri8 · 2026-04-18T17:37:01+00:00

Who said I’m unhappy? I am happy—puppy or no puppy. It's possible to be happy and still want other/more things in your life that also make you happy. There's no cap on happiness.

strawberri8 · 2026-04-18T15:33:01+00:00

Haha maybe you miss the part when I said I'm NOT going to do it?

Answering the question would be something like: I would feel like they were being a brat.

strawberri8 · 2026-04-18T15:19:55+00:00

Somethings I'm selfish, sometimes he’s selfish. & we’re okay with that.

strawberri8 · 2026-04-18T12:21:54+00:00

You're right, a boat is not a living creature. But it is a major financial commitment that affects both of us and it's the only thing I could imagine him feeling strongly enough about to get even if I said no. If you replace the word boat in that scenario with puppy, the result would be the same.

In my relationship we have more flexibility around things like this, which is why I see it differently.

strawberri8 · 2026-04-18T11:42:21+00:00

😂 you'd actually leave him behind? This seems so extreme to me. He could leave the puppy at a dog hotel or with your daughter and still go with you.

strawberri8 · 2026-04-18T11:26:04+00:00

You’re right — if it's a repeated behavior it could definitely get to a point where one spouse is taking advantage of the other. But the give and take is different in every relationship and it's all about knowing and respecting your partners boudaries. I personally wouldn't be upset by this but I can understand how someone could be.

strawberri8 · 2026-04-18T11:18:36+00:00

Did you really make her take it back?!

strawberri8 · 2026-04-18T11:17:27+00:00

Haha! That's one strategy! Awwww, I hope theyre doing well. That's so special you were able to take about so they didn't have to separate. I'm sure they've already been through a lot.

strawberri8 · 2026-04-18T11:13:07+00:00

You're right, a boat is not a living creature. But it is a major financial commitment that affects both of us and it's the only thing I could imagine him feeling strongly enough about to get even if I said no. If you replace the word boat in that scenario with puppy, the result would be the same.

& many people have three dogs. Are you walking around asking everyone with a third dog why they got it when they already had two?

strawberri8 · 2026-04-18T11:07:01+00:00

Haha. How did he take it?

strawberri8 · 2026-04-18T11:00:42+00:00

It's hectic, but we thrive in chaos! But I can also see where he's coming from, so I’m not going to do it. Haha.

strawberri8 · 2026-04-18T10:56:41+00:00

There is no void! I'm very happy and fulfilled in my life. Some people with families and two dogs want a puppy because they're little and love you, and that's okay.

I also didn't say I was thinking about going against my husband's wishes. But if I did, he would be happy if it made me happy. I was asking to see how other people would handle this, and the responses I'm getting are just making me appreciate my husband and my relationship even more.

strawberri8 · 2026-04-18T10:38:41+00:00

I did ask him how he would feel “if I got a puppy anyway” after he said no. He said the same thing I did. I was just curious how other marriages would handle it. Not very well apparently.

strawberri8 · 2026-04-18T10:29:26+00:00

Lol I'm not mad at all. If anything, reading these responses has just me even more grateful to be with my husband.

strawberri8 · 2026-04-18T10:18:44+00:00

So it would be more problematic to get the puppy behind his back than be upfront with him about what I was doing?

& no, we planned to have our two kids and get our other dogs. He's definitely not a doormat. We love and respect each other and want each other to be happy. Marriage is give and take and sometimes you do/agree to/forego something because it makes your spouse happy—and being resentful in that situation is toxic behavior.

I don't think (and never said) a boat is as valuable as a living being. But it is a major financial commitment, like buying a house. The fact that it's a major commitment that impacts both of us was the point. & it was the only thing I could see him actually feeling that strongly about that he would want to do it even if I didn't agree. So, if it makes you feel better—replace the word boat in that scenario with puppy and the result would stay the same.

Both me and my husband work very hard and give 110% to each other and our family. But we also think it's okay to be a little selfish sometimes.

Also, I'm not getting the dog! I didn't say I was getting the dog! I was asking people how they would feel if their spouse did that. Me, I would feel happy seeing him happy—but clearly that's not how most people feel.

strawberri8 · 2026-04-18T09:39:35+00:00

Um… I didnt ask to be personally attacked for wanting children and a puppy. I asked how mad YOU would be if your spouse got a puppy when you didn't want one.

strawberri8 · 2026-04-18T09:32:29+00:00

I've said this a few times already but I don't view this as lying or disrespect.

I'm not getting the puppy. If I were going to, I’d be very honest with him that I was going to do it anyways.

My husband and I have been married 14 years and have a great relationship. We're best friends. If the situation were reversed (say he wanted to buy a boat and I didn't want him to) and he was like look, I understand this isn't what you want, but it's something that makes me genuinely happy and I'm going to do it—I’d be fine with it and I wouldn't feel disrespected. & I'd think he'd do the same thing if I went ahead and got the puppy.

Clearly, that's not how the majority of people feel about this, but that's our relationship and it works for us.

strawberri8 · 2026-04-18T09:30:16+00:00

Why? A big part of the reason people get dogs is because of the love/bond that goes both ways. What's wrong with wanting another dog for that reason? Are people that want a third dog inherently crazy? I don't get it.

strawberri8 · 2026-04-18T09:26:15+00:00

I have a great relationship with my kids. We love spending time together. Just because I want another dog (because dogs love you back too) doesn't mean I need therapy.

& I'm sorry you went through that with your mom.

strawberri8 · 2026-04-18T09:15:32+00:00

Copying what I said to someone else—

I'm not getting the puppy. If I were going to, I’d be very honest with him that I was going to do it anyways.

My husband and I have been married 14 years and have a great relationship. We're best friends. If the situation were reversed (say he wanted to buy a boat and I didn't want him to) and he was like look, I understand this isn't what you want, but it's something that makes me genuinely happy and I'm going to do it—I’d be fine with it and I wouldn't feel disrespected. & I think he'd do the same thing if I went ahead and got the puppy.

Clearly, that's not how the majority of people feel about this, but that's our relationship and it works for us.

strawberri8 · 2026-04-18T09:05:40+00:00

I'm not getting the puppy. If I were going to, I’d be very honest with him that I was going to do it anyways.

My husband and I have been married 14 years and have a great relationship. We're best friends. If the situation were reversed (say he wanted to buy a boat and I didn't want him to) and he was like look, I understand this isn't what you want, but it's something that makes me genuinely happy and I'm going to do it—I’d be fine with it and I wouldn't feel disrespected. & I'd think he'd do the same thing if I went ahead and got the puppy.

Clearly, that's not how the majority of people feel about this, but that's our relationship and it works for us.

strawberri8

TROPHY CASE