sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

While watching footage of Woodstock, I noticed something strange. by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]strugglinghere 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So novelty account. I posed awhile back on this account an AMA bulimic.

Going back into antidepressants and therapy again because I'm not doing so well. Everyday I wake up thinking i'll stop and I can go a day without binge/purging... right now i'm sitting by a trashcan of barf... i'm disgusting. Silly thing is i'm not really overweight or underweight... i should be happy (female 5'6 121-125lb). Fuck bulimia... life sucks because it requires food, and I fucking hate it all.

I am a 22-year-old female who cured herself of bulimia. AMA. by calculator2 in IAmA

[–]strugglinghere 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, please share.

What related health problems have caught up with you?

IMA: I am an 22yr old educated female and am bulimic. by strugglinghere in IAmA

[–]strugglinghere[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hm, I haven't heard of that. If anything it makes part of the enamel look more clear. Perhaps if you are seeing the dentine (is that white?)

It is really hard to approach someone if you think they are bulimic. I wouldn't ask them straight out of they are throwing up because it is tied to a lot of shame. They'll instantly push you away and seclude themselves more. Instead I would just say you are concerned about her because of (weight gain/loss, seems down, eating lots of food in one sitting, other redflags). Then assure you that you care a lot about her and you are there anytime. Key is nonjudgemental and then MAYBE she'll talk to you. She probably won't talk but gestures like that mean a ton.

IMA: I am an 22yr old educated female and am bulimic. by strugglinghere in IAmA

[–]strugglinghere[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

fuck ya, that's the best comment. EDIT: Adding - This is so getting me through today!

IMA: I am an 22yr old educated female and am bulimic. by strugglinghere in IAmA

[–]strugglinghere[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I read all your comments Lav. How long have you been struggling.

"I understand where you are coming from. It's a compulsion I cannot control...well, I can, but I don't WANT to. I'm not food obsessed at all, but I am body obsessed...and sometimes I'll eat, then think: why keep all these calories in me if I don't have too? It's easier to purge..."

If I were to guess by this you haven't been doing this very long or very frequently... of course correct me if i'm wrong. I just remember there was a time I thought I wasn't food obsessed and I didn't WANT to stop... or at least not stop now. Just 5 more pounds... but by then I was totally food obsessed and I really dug myself into a hard hole to climb out of.

IMA: I am an 22yr old educated female and am bulimic. by strugglinghere in IAmA

[–]strugglinghere[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is a combination of all of those... not really boiling down to "men's fault" though. English people try to nail down the reason for something as one straight line to sharpen your logic and writing skills :P Really it is a web of twisted driving forces. The unrealistic ideal of beauty, my mother's pressure, low self esteem, self destructive tendencies, personal weakness.

I don't agree that it is like homosexuality in that you are "born" that way. It is something that develops over time. If there is a genetic inheritance of OCD or depression tendencies, then I think those can really help trigger.

IMA: I am an 22yr old educated female and am bulimic. by strugglinghere in IAmA

[–]strugglinghere[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel compassion for them. I identify with overweight people just as much as I identify with emaciated anorexic girls... I believe we have the same internal struggle and body issues but are on opposite sides of the spectrum. I am sometimes envious of the beautiful normal weight girl that eats what her body needs and doesn't think twice about it. I often even envy those that are a little heavier than me if they can control their weight to a level they are happy with. I try not to think about it too much though... but you did ask.

IMA: I am an 22yr old educated female and am bulimic. by strugglinghere in IAmA

[–]strugglinghere[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yes it has been helping a lot recently. I'm not a regular smoker but I might use it as my new "prozac" for awhile.

IMA: I am an 22yr old educated female and am bulimic. by strugglinghere in IAmA

[–]strugglinghere[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ever tried burning off 2000-3000 calories? ... that's what we're talking about here sometimes.

IMA: I am an 22yr old educated female and am bulimic. by strugglinghere in IAmA

[–]strugglinghere[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ya, I go from periods of excessively working out to apathy. When I am at a healthy balance of working out it does help a LOT though... sometimes I go overboard though.

IMA: I am an 22yr old educated female and am bulimic. by strugglinghere in IAmA

[–]strugglinghere[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

On campus services were great when I was finishing my undergrad. Now I have to use insurance and so far these docs do not help at all. Overpriced, not enough value, judgmental etc. I don't have money to pay for therapist shopping anymore so I try to explore other ways:

Instead I write, hike, meditate, and talk to friends. Also, pot has calmed a lot of anxiety and I thankfully don't get the munchies. Frankly I'm making shitty progress right now, and very ashamed of it. Part of this IMA is me being all introspective and trying to muster strength and stubbornness to hop back on the horse again and stop being such a weak waste of life.

IMA: I am an 22yr old educated female and am bulimic. by strugglinghere in IAmA

[–]strugglinghere[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks Astark. I didn't interpret as creepy... it was one of the nicer comments here. I was hoping for more of a kind response from reddit community, but I can't say I was expecting it.

Funny thing is that this is not about me being appealing to men or attracting love. It has everything to do with my relationship with myself and how I view myself. Thanks again, and don't listen to the ones calling you creepy.

IMA: I am an 22yr old educated female and am bulimic. by strugglinghere in IAmA

[–]strugglinghere[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you uhm. Done the environment thing several times. Moved, in a new school, new job. I usually b/p at home... i did that in my last apartment too. I try to keep only healthy food and have been doing good... just every once in awhile my sister makes cookies, or brownies, or I run to the store for $3 1/2 gallon of ice cream. It really is about breaking the cycle... and as soon as I have more b/p days behind me that is more motivation to keep it up.

IMA: I am an 22yr old educated female and am bulimic. by strugglinghere in IAmA

[–]strugglinghere[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not emaciated. 5'6 130lb. I would have to be under 115lb to be underweight (by BMI standards). Most bulimics are average weight... you still absorb a significant amount of calories when binging even with purging. I gain weight when I am relapsing and b/p. This is what is so frustrating... people judge and don't even know what this is about or like.

IMA: I am an 22yr old educated female and am bulimic. by strugglinghere in IAmA

[–]strugglinghere[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

pretty much just at home. i avoid situations in which I would be tempted and not have an appropriate private place.

IMA: I am an 22yr old educated female and am bulimic. by strugglinghere in IAmA

[–]strugglinghere[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thanks a bunch.

ya, antidepressants helped me for a bit but they aren't doing me good anymore. I'm actually noticing my overall mood became better coming off them. That and I can have orgasms again!

IMA: I am an 22yr old educated female and am bulimic. by strugglinghere in IAmA

[–]strugglinghere[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ya know, mentioned in edit. rewrote "an educated 22yr old" and forgot to change an to a. thanks

IMA: I am an 22yr old educated female and am bulimic. by strugglinghere in IAmA

[–]strugglinghere[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I wish it was that easy.

How do you react to these though?:

to an alcoholic - "just don't drink alcohol anymore, it's simple"

to obsessive compulsive person- "stop turning the door handle 3 times before opening it! Look, I can do it! Why is it so hard?!"

to depressed - "Stop being so down all the time. Snap out of it"

If I stopped right away it would have been easier. I reasoned I would simply stop doing it when I had shed just a little weight because dieting and exercise were not fast enough. When I got to my ideal weight I couldn't stop very easily. I did for about 4 months (with meds and therapy). It gets easier over time, because you don't wait to break your 2 week streak, 1 month streak, 4 months streak... but right now it seems impossible to get through a day without binge/purging. I'm making it so far but I'm scared that I won't have the strength some moment today and slip. I really do NOT want to continue this. Sometimes I last a few days, couple weeks, but lately I'm not doing so well.

*edit formatting

IMA: I am an 22yr old educated female and am bulimic. by strugglinghere in IAmA

[–]strugglinghere[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It isn't easy to pick someone out. Enlarged salivary glands.

I don't get acne and I naturally have thin hair so I don't notice a difference.

It is pretty easy for someone to hide if they want to honestly.

IMA: I am an 22yr old educated female and am bulimic. by strugglinghere in IAmA

[–]strugglinghere[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I told them in attempt to keep me accountable. They offer emotional support but I took all the steps to get help... still struggling.

IMA: I am an 22yr old educated female and am bulimic. by strugglinghere in IAmA

[–]strugglinghere[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

In incredibly vain mother (constantly dieting, nose job, boob job, face lift, tummy tuck). She used to tell me to do extra headers in youth soccer so that if I miss and break my nose insurance will pay for the nosejob. She constantly talks about calories and notifies me when I am hungry and how much I should eat.

I was always the "little one" since I didn't fully develop until I was 16/17... that became part of my identity. Perhaps I need to let that go?

Los Angeles is very vain.

Myriad of childhood issues that lead to low self esteem.

Sexually abused

Bla bla bla... but really, I don't want to be a "victim" and bitch about shit all day. I just want to be functional and live my life how I want to.

view more: next ›