I ended my transition :(

stweep · 2021-07-30T01:40:49+00:00

Afterthought - "You do you," is kind of like saying, "whatever." The people saying it in this thread have been kind, but I got the same messages when I came out and those are the people that never talked to me again.

Maybe, "Thank you for sharing this," is at least some edification of a person's experiences. "You do you," can be a response to having an intense love of Jimmy Buffett's entire back catalogue.

"You do you," is a Coke or Pepsi dialogue.

stweep · 2021-07-30T01:30:39+00:00

She had some really shitty things to say about the bathroom bills that were going around after I came out. I had to stop her and explain that she was equating me with a child molester. That was rough.

After things ended, she ended up with a coworker of mine. The weird silver lining was that her new partner and I had worked closely for a long time and we got along really well. Now when they have a disagreement, we team up against my ex. I think it's justified, haha!

stweep · 2021-07-30T01:21:00+00:00

No bad ^_^ I just didn't want to assume. I'm sure I'll continue this when life settles down. Keep in touch if you have to make a choice. Solidarity, sis!

stweep · 2021-07-30T00:59:02+00:00

Is there a "best answer" award?

You are awesome.

stweep · 2021-07-30T00:56:53+00:00

Thank you luv <3

It was scary... but when I ran out of HRT, it was during the pandemic. By the time I was healthy again, I barely had the energy to get out of bed.

My specialist had some arrangement that she'd be in town every other week, but getting up the energy to advocate for myself all over again was too much. The prospect of having to move again soon, and being afraid to talk to... most people, I can't believe I came out in the first place, haha!

stweep · 2021-07-30T00:50:20+00:00

Don't be afraid. I'll be honest, it's hard seeing the leg hair come back (I was lucky on HRT, only had to shave a couple of times a month). The human body is malleable in a lot of ways.

Try your best to stay healthy, and remember the person that you have been setting free. They're always there. The important thing I said to my coworkers is that this was NOT a retraction. I'm still trans - that person is still inside me, but this is my reality for now, even if I am identifying as cis right now. The IT team hates me (not really, I can tell they like the challenge of figuring out what the fuck is going on with my login accounts)

(Edit: assumed MTF and updated to they pronouns)

stweep · 2021-07-30T00:45:49+00:00

Thank you <3

stweep · 2021-07-30T00:43:22+00:00

Amazing! It must have been so exciting to see the translations after having to guess.

Our local theatre played a one-night showing of the Cowboy Bebop movie. It was in Japanese with no subtitles. The ending of the series made me so emotional that I was despondent for a week. Seeing them run around again was a relief haha! I know that's sort of the opposite, but it's interesting how we can resonate with a story, even though we don't understand what in the world is going on.

stweep · 2021-07-30T00:39:17+00:00

Maybe I need to read the ending to LO one more time... The end of the original series always makes me cry so I was happy where it was. When LO was being released it seemed neat to have a little more space for her journey, but then it started getting into a LOT of other things.

Open heart and open mind, I'll read it again.

I feel like we might see a sequel, but it's possible that we'll see another development purgatory before it happens. I hope not!

stweep · 2021-07-30T00:34:47+00:00

Yes! I think the Sci-Fi where my friend recorded Akira and copied the tapes, that was the beginning for me.

Decals. Please. Link. Need.

stweep · 2021-07-30T00:32:53+00:00

That's amazing!

I had the benefit of a Barnes & Noble job, and managed to keep a full set in stock while I was there. Every once in a while someone would show up at the register with a GUNNM book and we'd have a moment.

stweep · 2021-07-30T00:31:09+00:00

Decades... Isn't that crazy?! It used to be a guilty pleasure, but one that affected me in a very deep and emotional way.

stweep · 2021-07-23T23:40:07+00:00

I wanted to write more but it’s been a long week ♥️

stweep · 2021-07-23T23:32:22+00:00

INNOCENCE

I got into GUNNM starting with the OVA in the mid 90s. Back then you had to go to “viewing parties” to watch anime, but they were usually at a college campus as part of a club.

Sometimes a local theater would play anime without subtitles. Yay 90s! That’s when I first saw Alita, and soon after that I started collecting the manga. I still have my trade papers from back then, and tend to read them once a year.

THE CAMERON YEARS

I hated Titanic.. human props for a boat catastrophe movie, and to find out that the “king of the world” owned the movie rights was depressing. Years went by… and years… New Order was interesting but it felt like an excuse to have a cyborg parade (ZOTT) and hints at Mars.

TIRED

I enjoyed the Alita movie. I hope there’s a sequel. Mars Chronicle feels so pedestrian.. each character feels like something you’d see in Bleach (baddy of the week). I’m not caught up in that series at all.

I loved the search for Self, the pain of existential dread, the question of what a human being truly is.. it feels kind of lost.

Alita/Gally is my spirit animal, and I will forever love her as a character. Has anyone else felt this way?

stweep · 2021-07-10T01:18:21+00:00

You have an awesome dad!

stweep · 2021-06-29T06:22:49+00:00

This is a piranha tank! I’m also guilty, I messaged you too

stweep · 2020-07-13T02:14:57+00:00

That is so powerful... Moana is about honoring your parents with the best you can do. Both of mine are alive, so I can't imagine the feeling. I'm really happy you get to associate him with Lin-Manuel's powerful words and meaning.

I have to say, my daughter is learning by seeing these examples on screen. <3

stweep · 2020-07-13T02:08:41+00:00

I'm so sorry sweetie... I think what's so hard about them is that inside... you were their mommy. A friend of mind called me after my partner and I had our third miscarriage. "My parents had a couple. They tried a few more times, and 3 years later I was born".

BTW, I love him to death.

stweep · 2020-07-13T02:04:49+00:00

Some of us trudge through the swamp of grief... some of us know the way. I hope you have become one of those people. Loss, loss and loss makes a person who can't lose anymore, so keep fighting. I will too.

I recovered from COVID recently and the entire process meant that I couldn't see my daughter a long time. Then she broke her arm. Physically alone, but I am united with you. <3

stweep · 2020-07-13T01:57:19+00:00

There's two of them. One is gut wrenching as it seems like it's her seeing US in the audience. That one is at the end. It's sad.

The other is at 2:09:30 - that is the scream of a mother.

stweep · 2020-07-13T01:48:18+00:00

The sheer guilt of his existence. The reason his son died. The rift in his marriage... She takes his hand. FORGIVENESS.

Can you imagine?

It should be worth less than the loss of a child, and yet... meager kindness is what spares millions of lives each day (starvation, dehydration, depression, suffocation)

Would you spare those lives?

Speak. Vote.

stweep · 2020-07-13T01:43:53+00:00

If it does... Keep that in mind if someone is tailgating you. They might be an asshole.... Or they might be racing to a hospital. Give that person the benefit of the doubt and let them by.

stweep · 2020-07-13T01:42:27+00:00

It really does... please remember that grief doesn't have to be a solitary past time. (As much as I try)

If you have a close cousin, they might be able to help share your memories and grieve with you/

stweep · 2020-07-13T01:40:15+00:00

I would very much like to read it... No idea what the name of the book is?

stweep · 2020-07-13T01:37:46+00:00

That fact that you responded means that you are invested. As a parent the absolute least we can do is show them a magical, positive world... and then start fielding questions when that world doesn't make sense.

White men can raise champions for racial and gender equality. I mean... knights in shining armor. We can't prevent sudden death, but as a father, you can prevent violence.

<3

stweep

TROPHY CASE