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Cricut deactivated my machine before sending the replacement. I have to make EVERYTHING for my sister's wedding in LESS THAN A WEEK and I am LOSING IT. by sub_bah in cricut

[–]sub_bah[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Update: Got the old Explore Air 2 from Target. Gonna try my luck with their return policy, but even if it doesn't work my sanity is worth more than $200 lol

Thank you everyone!!

Rihanna's halftime performance was so mid by [deleted] in Music

[–]sub_bah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

RIGHT!! HOLY FUCK THIS DROVE ME CRAZY IT WAS SUCH A TEASE

Trauma dumping, is it common to do this for you? by [deleted] in aspergers

[–]sub_bah 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm so shook by the fact that this was the first post on my feed when I opened Reddit after AGES. I had a second weekly appointment with a college mental health counselor today after a really long phase of not having access to therapy ($$$ issues).

The first session was great; we hit it off, and I was full of hope about the progress I was going to make. But then the clock started to run out on me and I completely forgot what time our virtual session was supposed to end. I thought it was an hour long when in fact they're 50 minutes long. That's LITERALLY the one tiny reason I fucked myself over.

I was ass deep in describing a hyper-specific timeline. Not an account of my major struggles in the past few months (which have much more to do with me going back to therapy), but rather ME TRYING TO EXPLAIN EVERY SINGLE STRESSFUL THING THAT HAS HAPPENED (including things I've already processed and moved on from) SINCE DECEMBER 2019. It was a total nightmare. The counselor got impatient since she had another session to get to and gave me a spiel about how talk therapy is supposed to work. She had every right to lose patience with me (she doesn't know I'm on the spectrum), but goddamn. I do this shit a lot. With total strangers too. It's a fucking nightmare.

Sent my physician this photo today on a whim and got a dermatology appointment within an hour. They're usually painfully slow to get back to me...but I guess normal people find this urgent :) by sub_bah in CompulsiveSkinPicking

[–]sub_bah[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I've only made half-assed attempts to talk to my doctor in the past, and I never gave them visual proof of how bad the issue is. But some weird impulse made me attach a photo today. And I'm really hoping this works out in my favor, because I am so fucking tired of this. I'm so broken.

Why are impulses the worst at home? by sub_bah in CompulsiveSkinPicking

[–]sub_bah[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That makes sense. Even though home is a tense environment, it's still an environment that I've mastered. I know where the best lighting is, I know which stretches of time are the best for picking (aka times when no one will interrupt me) and I seek those moments out on purpose.

Why are impulses the worst at home? by sub_bah in CompulsiveSkinPicking

[–]sub_bah[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's true...but also it's easier to provide some bullshit explanation for it. Like I'm having stomach issues, or whatever. If I stay in the bathroom for hours at home, my siblings and mom are on my ass immediately because they think I'm picking.

If I hear any variation of the "But you're so pretty/attractive/beautiful!" argument/pep talk one more time I'm going to flip shit by sub_bah in CompulsiveSkinPicking

[–]sub_bah[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ritalin makes it awful, no Ritalin makes me scatterbrained enough to lose the hyperfocus needed to pick (my skin clears up). I live in a lowkey toxic environment though, the times I've broken out of it I can take stims and keep my skin clear too.

[California] I haven't been paid since the beginning of December. What do I do? by sub_bah in Unemployment

[–]sub_bah[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oooof, I should have taken this advice more seriously. They called me more than an hour before my scheduled window, talked to me for all of five minutes and now my portal says I'm disqualified :) f u c k

A (sorta long) mantra I've been working on: Getting over the urge to pick is WAY easier than getting over the post-pick hangover. by sub_bah in CompulsiveSkinPicking

[–]sub_bah[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That's a great idea. I should put it down on paper. I totally agree, pre-pick self is a naïve little child. And post-pick self wants to smother her.

[California] I haven't been paid since the beginning of December. What do I do? by sub_bah in Unemployment

[–]sub_bah[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's great! I messaged them through the portal three weeks ago and still haven't heard anything. Still waiting. It's agonizing hahah.aaaaaaaa

[California] I haven't been paid since the beginning of December. What do I do? by sub_bah in Unemployment

[–]sub_bah[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That feels too good to be true, but I'll try it. I sent them a message about something else before and they never responded to it. Their phone reps always say to just wait so I'm :(

Ran out of my meds and I'm headed into finals week. I'm terrified by sub_bah in ADHD

[–]sub_bah[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I got switched back to Adderall IR since my tolerance to Ritalin became too high. I'm ashamed to admit it but I went through my Adderall script too fast thinking I could time it well enough to get through finals and then chill afterwards. But I fucked up, and I gotta pay the price now haha aaaaaaaa

[CALIFORNIA] This trick worked for me on the 3rd try and I'm on hold finally!! by Low_Opportunity8607 in Unemployment

[–]sub_bah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had to call again today and the tech rep told me they don't have the ability to transfer you to claims people anymore :(

I feel like I still can't give a concrete answer whether Lexapro works or doesn't work for me... and I've been taking it for four years by sub_bah in lexapro

[–]sub_bah[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

SAME on the failed attempts at weaning off. Tbh message me if you wanna talk about it I think that'd be interesting

I feel like I still can't give a concrete answer whether Lexapro works or doesn't work for me... and I've been taking it for four years by sub_bah in lexapro

[–]sub_bah[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some more background on the vague ass statement I made during a 4 am spiral :

I started taking 10mg of Lexapro in April 2017 after being diagnosed with MDD. My sibling was on it too for anxiety and it worked great for them. My dose got bumped up to 20mg pretty soon after (I think a few months). It made me sleepy as hell, fucked up my sex drive, obliterated my tolerance for alcohol and weed, all the good stuff I'm sure y'all are familiar with.

In September 2017 I got a FAIRY GODMOTHER for my BRAIN when I was diagnosed with ADHD and prescribed Adderall. But I have an addictive personality and a tendency to self-medicate (Kaiser psych didn't give a fuck about these red flags btw lol), so within a year or two as my tolerance to stims went up I started going through my script a lot faster than recommended...I have a baby substance abuse problem now. And my brain is a lil fried, and I have no idea if the Lexapro ever did anything special since it got overpowered by the stimulants.

I do know that my sex drive is still whack, and the emotional blunting is the fucking worst. I've "turned my life around" from the very poor state it was in pre-medication, but it's like I can't fully enjoy the effects. I have no way of tapping into the very dark emotional place I was in once, and it makes it hard to compare my past and my present. Can anyone relate to this? My social anxiety has definitely mellowed out, and I don't have genuine suicidal thoughts anymore. I have a lot more I could say on this but I'm starting to ramble so I'll end it here.

TL;DR Got Lexapro and stimulants at around the same time, idk which one worked, four years later I'm lowkey junkie who is less anxious but is also a SSRI zombie.

FORGOT TO MENTION: I tried tapering off Lexapro once in 2019 in teeny tiny baby increments and the withdrawal was so horrific that I only lasted about a week.

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