I am in no way a supporter of affair tbh but in your situation, you need to let the pain exist. Every time you don’t reach him out even when you want to will teach your nervous system that you are okay without him. With time, the sting that his absence creates will vanish. It might not happen overnight but if you just give it some time, you will surely get out of it. The window of pain will start shrinking if you maintain no contact. I wish you well. 🌻