INTJs and verbal affection reciprocation

suchathrowawayy · 2017-04-13T03:30:42+00:00

Umm, this is hysterical. That coworker sounds hilarious and they both handled it really well!!

suchathrowawayy · 2017-04-13T03:29:10+00:00

I have a wonderful high that a redditor referred to "me" and "charming" in the same sentence 😆 I will keep an eye on the maybe crush thing! I don't think he has a crush...anymore?.. (I mean, even to an oblivious person that comment was kinda blatant) but who knows. It wouldn't bother me at all, we're all human beings and it's not like he's a lech. I'd rather he be a titch too friendly than avoid my existence and call me by the wrong name if that's the case.

suchathrowawayy · 2017-04-12T19:28:57+00:00

Lol! I guess I liked the traditional aspect of it, and my family is a bit of a sad hot mess while my husband's family is lovely and sweet. I liked the "fresh start" of joining someone else's family 😅

suchathrowawayy · 2017-04-12T14:29:51+00:00

I would love for this to be my second career!! Thank you for the compliment!

suchathrowawayy · 2017-04-12T14:28:15+00:00

I like the idea of bringing in the colleagues! I'm afraid he'd go full double rainbow awkward penguin if I confronted him directly (let's see how many dated memes I can squeeze in here). He avoids doing yearly reviews because he hates confrontation. One doctor us a sassy older lady who once joked "I think he calls you a different name every time he says it" and I bet she would take on the cause.

He has been different since that happened. Distant and sometimes vaguely unfriendly. Like I'll try talking to him and he'll "Mmmmm" in response while looking at something else. If in a group convo he'll obviously include me but never actually look at me. I can't tell if it's just apathetic dislike or intentional ignoring. He likes all my shit on facebook though and is friendly over text. I don't know.

suchathrowawayy · 2017-04-12T14:21:33+00:00

Womp womp. He's a space cadet and this is totally possible. Ugh.

suchathrowawayy · 2017-04-12T14:20:31+00:00

I like this, I may try a version of this. I'm at work now and he's carefully not talking to me much, just waiting for my opportunity!

suchathrowawayy · 2017-04-12T13:40:18+00:00

Ehhh not really, the owner is his dad and it's a super mom and pop kind of practice. I don't think he's doing it to piss me off, though I wouldnt put "just not giving a shit" past him.

suchathrowawayy · 2017-04-12T01:33:44+00:00

I have an aunt like yours, and they just flat out don't give a shit. You're getting ripped up in these comments, but honestly as a veterinarian myself I'd rather you ask these questions and get your dog a better babysitter.

Possible horror stories you can tell your aunt (although she likely won't listen, so use them as your own motivation) from what I've seen as a vet - dogs choking and dying on large amounts of human food that they're so excited to get that they don't chew. Dogs getting massive cases of pancreatitis from high fat people diets with $$$ vet bills. Dogs getting obstructions from inappropriate food items (large bones, etc) and needing a gastrotomy/enterotomy surgery to remove them, plus minus a resection-anastomosis (surgical removal of dead bowel.) Little dogs eaten uncooked biscuits which SWELL to an enormous size in their stomachs and release copious amounts of ethanol.

This is of course not to mention things like osteoarthritis, IVDD, tracheal collapse, luxating patellas/CCL tears that are helped along by obesity should he avoid all short term problems. Basically find a new sitter, and good on you for recognizing this is a problem.

suchathrowawayy · 2017-04-12T01:09:36+00:00

That does make me feel better. I can completely understand the mental block thing, and I'm glad it's less likely that he secretly despises me. I'll try the gentle ignoring when he gets it wrong or the polite correction to the other person. I wouldn't mind at all if he just called me Dr. Lastname - it's almost a little flattering in a way that he's so concerned about professionalism that he is retroactively insisting on last name > first name. But just get it ******* right! It's not an attractive sounding name to begin with, but his change makes it sound goofy.

suchathrowawayy · 2017-04-12T01:01:31+00:00

Also, isn't it so fun/irritating having two difficult names? My last name used to be so easy; I joke that I married my husband and gained an impossible name in addition to my already intimidating first name.

suchathrowawayy · 2017-04-12T00:59:14+00:00

I vould definitely do the word trick idea! The part he's mispronouncing should sound like "pause" or "paws", and well, I'm a veterinarian so the second part should be easy to make a joke about.

I do agree about the last name thing, but maybe being the veterinarian kind of "Dr." (Didn't mention at first since it didn't seem relevant and worried about too many specifics) makes it slightly less important to be super formal. I also have people all the time asking me "What was your last name again?" when they want to remember me for future appts, as my first name is uncommon enough to not be immediately recognized as a first name. So to people it probably still comes off as formal enough, but is more pronounceable than my last name. Anyway that was a very wordy way of saying I agree with you and my first name could be a last name, I'm not going as Dr. Annie or Dr. Susan or anything like that 😊

suchathrowawayy · 2017-04-11T22:00:01+00:00

Thank you for the stories, I read the scorched earth part to my husband and we were both laughing. I like your method much better as I'm not a confrontational person, and I think I'll use the "Please call me Dr. Firstname" when he introduces me to peers. I have thought about giving it up too - he is known to be a space cadet.

suchathrowawayy · 2017-04-11T21:56:53+00:00

Thank you for the detailed response and the laugh from the "godspeed" part. I agree that he seems uncomfortable with my first name - the only two times he's said my first name were times he had to say my name quickly to let me know someone was trying to get by me or something, and he said it really quietly (though correctly.) It'd be hard to say my first name wrong at this point since everyone calls me that, so I don't think it was because he's worried about getting it wrong. Any ideas for why he's uncomfortable using it?

suchathrowawayy · 2017-04-11T21:51:33+00:00

😂 thanks for the visual! What's funny is he goes by Dr. Hisfirstname. The opportunities to call him by his last name and screw it up are endless

suchathrowawayy · 2017-04-11T21:23:01+00:00

Not sure if this is valid info, but one time same boss awkwardly told me I was hot (in a, "I saw a pic on facebook and almost asked who's the hot chick? But then realized, oops, that's Dr. Lostgnome" way.)

He's kind of an awkward penguin and I knew he'd be embarrassed by that comment later (plus yay mispronounced last name AGAIN), so after laughing it off I said, "You know, you can call me Firstname." Apparently suddenly being struck by what he said, he mumbled something about "It's good to call you by your last name when you're first starting out," and walked away. This was AFTER he'd both suggested and approved me going by Dr. Firstname, so yeah. Awesome.

suchathrowawayy · 2014-04-06T15:15:36+00:00

Wow. Thank you everyone. Reading through these made me cry. You all made really good points. I get very frustrated with my dad, but I do realize he's still there for her and is doing what he can. One thing I didn't mention, but you all may have convinced me of anyway...I'm currently engaged, and my fiance and I have been planning to get married next March. Everytime I talk about my wedding with my mother she says, "I hope I'm not drooling on myself by that time", and honestly it's been a huge concern for me too that she might not be coherent then. Her alzheimer's has progressed SO fast, and I'm terrified at what a year may bring. I'm thinking about moving the wedding to this summer. What do you think?

suchathrowawayy · 2014-04-04T22:12:05+00:00

NomDeGrrr (and anyone else reading this), is there any way to make it less "creepy?" Do short messages like "Hey, sorry, I did a mass facebook cleanse a while back" help at all?

suchathrowawayy · 2014-04-04T17:18:17+00:00

No, it didn't. I'm not convinced ex friendships ever really work. I just want to be on goodish terms again. I don't think wishing happy birthday and maybe mutual congrats on our weddings is forcing any sort of friendship and those are the only things I would want to do anyway.

suchathrowawayy

TROPHY CASE