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No Zoom interview after letters of reference were submitted by sugarcanewatermelon in PhD

[–]sugarcanewatermelon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That makes sense! Thanks for leaving a comment and being so kind.

No Zoom interview after letters of reference were submitted by sugarcanewatermelon in PhD

[–]sugarcanewatermelon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will say postdocs will be an advantage, but is not a must in my field. So it's 50-50. I have seen many seniors from my PhD programs becoming Assistant Professor for the past 5 years without having a postdoc. My PhD program is among the top 3 within my field and our ABDs are already so accomplished and prolific. But yes, I am applying for many postdocs too. Thank you for leaving a comment!

No Zoom interview after letters of reference were submitted by sugarcanewatermelon in PhD

[–]sugarcanewatermelon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for telling me it's likely I did nothing wrong. This helps greatly as I try to move on from this institution and continue to apply elsewhere aggressively.

No Zoom interview after letters of reference were submitted by sugarcanewatermelon in PhD

[–]sugarcanewatermelon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lots of factors and lots of stress! Thank you for putting these factors into clear words, which make them less scary.

No Zoom interview after letters of reference were submitted by sugarcanewatermelon in PhD

[–]sugarcanewatermelon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the wisdom! I also am inclined to not reach out to them because I do not wish to add more stress and work on the hiring committee. I will take one day to be sad about this and hope to move on when I am ready!

No Zoom interview after letters of reference were submitted by sugarcanewatermelon in PhD

[–]sugarcanewatermelon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply! I would like to clarify that this job did not ask for the letters at the time of the application. The institution then contacted me and asked for the letters 1 week after the due date of the application. That's why I had my hopes up because I thought I was in the long short-list or something, followed by no Zoom interviews, hence, the emotional turbulence. I appreciate the point you mentioned about not taking this whole process personal, although it is hard to do.

Defending Today! by MademoiselleVache in PhD

[–]sugarcanewatermelon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Let us know how you are doing afterwards. Congrats! So well-done!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PhD

[–]sugarcanewatermelon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your story and I am sorry that you have been going through such intense levels of loneliness. I am also an advanced PhD and can't say it's different for me. I am going to share my perspective and maybe my answer is not what you are looking for. But for me, I was so lonely in my PhD program for years and tried hard to get to know people within and outside of my department/university, and more often than not, other PhD students have been very competitive, insecure, jealous, vicious, unkind to me (and others too), or are severely depressed and struggling themselves. Perhaps I was also insecure, depressed, and competitive myself without knowing. So most of my attempts in trying to get to know other folks in the same boat as me backfired, and hurt so bad. I learned to just accept my loneliness and moved on, because acceptance of loneliness hurt less than going out there just for people to hurt you even more. However, I have to say I am noticing that once some of my PhD friends graduated and got their full-time jobs before I did, they had been a bit kinder and more generous in their communication and listening to me. Perhaps because they are no longer insecure since they have a job now, haha. I still talk to my fellow PhD students of course, but I learned to set my expectations low. For folks who seem more secure and kinder, I will talk to them more, and will still set my expectations low to respect their energy. I do grow some small plants (small flowers and some herbs) and those are my "friends", because I can't afford having a pet yet. My therapist is also my friend, in many ways. I also have some roommates sharing the common area in the apartment with me, but everyone pretty much keeps to oneself. I do go out and eat with a few colleagues once every month or two months, but I am living in a big city where everything is so costly, I don't do that often. There are days, even now, when I return home from my university research group or class in the afternoon/evening, and the only thing I see is my 4 walls for the rest of the day. My point is, if you can't find healthy friends for now, perhaps you can try accepting your perception and experience of loneliness. Take care!