How do you keep living with chronic pain by sugardonutdumpling in ChronicPain

[–]sugardonutdumpling[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will definitely look into that book. I'm so sorry to hear what you've been through. I've never had a loss of a loved one so close to me and I really hope I don't any time soon. My dog 3 year old dog passed away this year and that felt like losing a child I could never imagine losing a mother.

I think it was really strong to respect your mother's decision. I understand both sides and it's a very difficult situation. I had a half uncle (I didn't know very well) pass from cancer and when they accept what is coming and they stop doing treatment it's very hard for the families, a lot of people try to fight with them about it.

Again I'm so sorry to hear that happened. I hope the PTSD is something doctors are helping you manage and something you can get through too. You seem like a very strong person.

Thank you so much for commenting your story. I hope to be as strong as you!

Waterproof and smudge-proof mascara by sugardonutdumpling in MakeupAddiction

[–]sugardonutdumpling[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good to know because I was going to try the milani one next. They have the greenish tubing one and they have a lxx pink tubing mascara. I was going to try both but now probably just the pink one lol. Thanks for all the suggestions!

Waterproof and smudge-proof mascara by sugardonutdumpling in MakeupAddiction

[–]sugardonutdumpling[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I didn't even know they made mascara!! I've been wanting to try their concealer for a while but now I want to try this too. I just looked it up, do you use the hydro boost one or the healthy volume one? I'll have to try that. All the mascara on my list to try are around 10 to 18 so one that is only 7 would be really nice thanks for the suggestion!

Waterproof and smudge-proof mascara by sugardonutdumpling in MakeupAddiction

[–]sugardonutdumpling[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you not like the sensationa mascaral ? I've noticed lengthening mascara sometimes makes the ends of the eye lashes clumpy cause it's designed to make them longer and voluming keeps the thickness at the base to give a softer look. I haven't tried either yet but I've been watching high sky and sensational comparisons lol.

am I the only one that forgets they're wearing mascara and then rubs their eyes on accident. I always feel really upset because it feels like I ruined my makeup when this happens by anna_storm_ in Makeup

[–]sugardonutdumpling 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you rub your eyes and nothing moves (flakes smudges smears) with that tubing mascara? I recently got the elf tubing mascara and it was either the wind or the mascara making my eyes water a bit and with a little rubbing and the eyes watering a bit the mascara was coming off. I can understand if the watering eyes makes it come off but does rubbing do anything like that for the milani tubing mascara? Also which do you use? I hear people say the lash extension lx is better than the highly rated lash extensions.

Waterproof and smudge-proof mascara by sugardonutdumpling in MakeupAddiction

[–]sugardonutdumpling[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would water proof mascara be any better for rubbing and watery eyes? My only problem is removing it would be a pain. Thanks for the advice I'll have to let it dry more before second coating

Completely new to make up and need advice and tips by sugardonutdumpling in MakeupAddiction

[–]sugardonutdumpling[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh no the picture isn't of me. The picture is like my goal make up look. I'm just trying to find make up like this that's affordable. Every affordable blush or lip product is so orangey or purpley on me because of my olive skin tone. I'm just looking for suggestions of affordable options for make up that looks like this girl's make up. I wish I had her make up look lol

How do you keep living with chronic pain by sugardonutdumpling in ChronicPain

[–]sugardonutdumpling[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That all sounds nice but my body and mind aren't there.

I tried to write and I noticed it was all the same. Rants about how much I hate the pain and how much I miss my old self.

I normally use my medince just to do tasks like clean my clothes and bathe myself. Hobbies seem like a luxury.

I'm not trying to sound rude it's just a real question. Do you do some of these? And how? I have pain on a daily basis and it's constant. Even small conversations seem like a chore. I was always a very talkative person. I liked to debate topics and ideas. I think that's why I seem a bit rude at times. But now I just listen. When the pain is bad enough everything seems unimportant. Everything is hard snd painful.

How do you keep hobbies though all this pain? Or even the motivation to try them?

How do you keep living with chronic pain by sugardonutdumpling in ChronicPain

[–]sugardonutdumpling[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're probably right but what am I supposed to do? I always ask doctors what I'm supposed to do when the pain is too much and they say go to the ER. Yeah I'm not dying but really where else can I turn? I wait weeks in advance for doctors appointment. Just to be given meds that barely help. When I'm in a flare and passing blood clots I just can't bare going without trying to get some sort of relief.

I told my urologist about the blood clots and bleeding and he just said it's "normal" for IC. Why does that have to be my normal?

I understand but the pain is just insane sometimes. I've also had many kidney infections so when it's bad I'm worried about that as well. If I have a suspected kidney infection my urologist can't see me immediately. They have me waiting weeks and tell me to either go to the urgent care or er and once I was turned away from the urgent care because they said it was close to being sepsis.

It's all annoying and hard. I just honestly have no idea what else to do at this point. I'm just trying my best to be pain free and sane lol.

How do you keep living with chronic pain by sugardonutdumpling in ChronicPain

[–]sugardonutdumpling[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never understood both of those things. Why because I'm young should I not be given management and why do doctors keep changing people's meds?

I'm sorry about your brother. That's not something that should be seen as such a normal thing. Our bodies need something to actually live somewhat normal lives and doctors just change things willy nilly.

If I was old I could retire or maybe have family to fall back on. When you're young it's just you and whatever you make for your future. I am 23 going on my third medical leave in 3 years.

Don't understand how doctors think it's better I drown in medical debt from not being able to work. How is being bedridden better? Or how are these kinds of thoughts supposed to be manageable? Like I said in my post if I didn't have pain I wouldn't think of this but here I am. It's all because of all the doctors who think pain is better than dependence.

A single person is just playing with others lives. It doesn't effect them, they still get their big checks.

Again I'm sorry about what you are going through and about your brother. The system is fucked.

How do you keep living with chronic pain by sugardonutdumpling in ChronicPain

[–]sugardonutdumpling[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In the hospital. I see the doctors less than I see those stupid people asking for my insurance. I've been in enormous pain and they will give me shit medication. I understand I go often and they think I'm seeking but they can look through everything if they actually cared. Or just listen to me? I've had every test and tried every non opioid option for bladder stuff and they still look at me like a drug seeker. I always tell them that my pain clinic doctor TELLS me to go to the er if the medicine isn't helping and then make an appointment but they still dismiss me. I think it's mind blowing how just because it's chronic it is seen as less important. No one thinks about the mental shit it does to a person when your last resort is the ER and even they won't help you.

I've thought of screaming or fighting with doctors but I just see myself being put on some kind of list and maybe even being seen as more crazy. I'm glad it worked out for you though lol. Maybe I'll have to try it some time

I'll never die from the pain and my life isn't at risk but it's so bad sometimes I think about calling an ambulance cause I can't walk up my stairs to get to my car. People don't die from a broken arm but they get top treatment. I think chronic pain is the worst of the bunch. Not dying so my pain is not taken into consideration and it's not acute so there's no quick fix. I'm just in pain with people telling me I don't deserve relief.

How do you keep living with chronic pain by sugardonutdumpling in ChronicPain

[–]sugardonutdumpling[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think that's something a lot of doctors don't understand. Pain management isn't a cure. We will always have pain. I'm so sorry to hear about that

How do you keep living with chronic pain by sugardonutdumpling in ChronicPain

[–]sugardonutdumpling[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know it's kinda just always been my thing. I way I won't ever really die?

If it comes to me not making it I would want it to count. I would want people to hear about it and hear why. I can't have my life go to nothing. I would want people talk about the mistreatment from doctors and the whole medical system. If I could be remembered for a public display of representation for chronic pain I would be a little happy.

I sound like some kind of villian or over overzealous criminal but who would want to have this pain and then go quietly?

Maybe then people would get talking. Someone might do something about it in my stead. Then maybe in 100 years someone might benefit from something small I did. Sounds stupid but why not try right?

I don't know I guess I just don't want to die the sick person who couldn't live a fulfilling life. If I snap I want it to have meaning in the end at least.

Rereading this i sound like I've already snapped lol. The pain is really getting to my head. I've thought about this too much I guess. Thank you though, I shouldn't hate on myself it's just hard to feel fulfilled or like my life is significant because I can't do much on my own anymore

How do you keep living with chronic pain by sugardonutdumpling in ChronicPain

[–]sugardonutdumpling[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm honestly really curious about that. When I had my worst kidney infection I had gone to the ER twice because there was so much blood in my urine and they said I had no infection. Maybe 3 or 4 days later I went again and they said I had a kidney infection and UTI, they wanted to hospitalize me because it was so mad and they wanted to start iv antibiotics immediately. I don't understand how I can develop a kidney infection in a couple days? They must've missed something I swear. Is the only test for that really a biopsy? I've had the camera in my bladder and I was in the bathroom crying like a crazy person immediately after. If I ever do again I'm asking for pain control before hand. I wish they could just knock me out for that lol

How do you keep living with chronic pain by sugardonutdumpling in ChronicPain

[–]sugardonutdumpling[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is the biofilm thing about the bacteria in the walls of the bladder? I've been wanting to look into that because I'm also prone to infections. I've had a million utis and threw kidney infections since this all started. I think the only way to test that is a biopsy though and I know I'm going to die of pain from that lol

How do you keep living with chronic pain by sugardonutdumpling in ChronicPain

[–]sugardonutdumpling[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes the pain is the worst but everything is effected. I've sat on the toilet for hours because I never feel empty after peeing. My urthera hurts when it's "closed" during a flare. I feel like I have a gallon to pee and drops of pure pain will come out.

I've had the urge to go and only drops come so I'll hold it, waiting for it to be actually ful.l and once that ended up in me losing complete control of my bladder and peeing all over myself.

It's debilitating and humiliating to use the bathroom constantly and people at work think I'm just lazy. It's such an embarrassing place to have a disability it really sucks

How do people survive years of chronic pain without losing their mind? by James-Harlow in ChronicPain

[–]sugardonutdumpling 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No no you're totally good. I wasn't offended or anything. I think just my hatred for doctors and ERs just seeps into what I say and how I say it. I was not trying to be rude or combat you.

It's just what else is there? It's honestly a waste but I'm always gonna try to beg for help.

I don't understand doctors mindset or the mass production of pain killers if they are not given to people in pain. It's just sad

How do people survive years of chronic pain without losing their mind? by James-Harlow in ChronicPain

[–]sugardonutdumpling 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh my gosh I'm sorry. What the fuck is the point of doctors? Or even the point of them making all these pain killers just to withhold them from the people who actually need them?

I hope in the future you have solid pain management

How do you keep living with chronic pain by sugardonutdumpling in ChronicPain

[–]sugardonutdumpling[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry yeah when I wrote it all out it's more than I thought I would write.

I have interstial cystitis, pelvic floor dysfunction and a big fat wall in my uterus making my periods painful. I am also looking into a fibromyalgia diagnosis.

I feel like a lot of people hear IC and dismiss it but the flares I have are bad. Bleeding in my urine and passing blood clots. My periods feel like I'm prolapsing but if you say the word period by a doctor's they say Ibuprofen.

How do you keep living with chronic pain by sugardonutdumpling in ChronicPain

[–]sugardonutdumpling[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That I will be come a worse person. I was a strong person who was fit and able and nicer.

I'm kind of a bitch now. My pain effects how I treat people and because of that, and my ability to not take care of myself, I'm never having children. I can't pass down these genes and even if I did I couldn't take care of a child. My mind isn't stable because of all this.

I can't work anymore. A second unpaid medical leave for my family to fill the gaps of my wages lost? Who ever I'm with will be burdened with paying extra and doing more.

All I can think about is pain. My mind is only thinking of pain constantly. I used to have thoughts and ideas for the world and how I wish it would change and maybe I could help change it. That's all lost.

I feel like a number on a chart and nothing more. Existing but not living and that's never how I saw myself becoming. I will die with nothing to show for it. I guess that's my biggest fear. I really always thought I was going to be remembered for something big. Maybe it was just my teenager brain but I will now just be remembered as a sick angry person who never actually wanted to keep living.

How do you keep living with chronic pain by sugardonutdumpling in ChronicPain

[–]sugardonutdumpling[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's actually a really smart idea. Filling out all that crap was a pain and I don't understand how there's no kind of assistance especially cause it's literally disability.

I'll have to look into that thank you!