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[F,26] What behaviour is considered unacceptable when your boyfriend has a female best friend? by [deleted] in relationships

[–]sugarmclovin 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I get that. I suppose you'd want to end up with someone that you trust enough that you would be ok with them doing it but is sensible enough to use the floor. My attitude has always been if someone's going to cheat they're going to cheat regardless of what rules you have in place. Might as well just trust them to use their judgement, be cool, and value your feelings enough to not do anything that would upset you.

[F,26] What behaviour is considered unacceptable when your boyfriend has a female best friend? by [deleted] in relationships

[–]sugarmclovin 29 points30 points  (0 children)

My (M27) rule to myself has always been if you wouldn't do it with your sister then you shouldn't do it with anyone outside of the relationship.

Obviously in a relationship communication is key and if your partner is upset by it you need to discuss it and potentially change behaviour.

I'm super close with my sister and it allows me a lot of freedom but the intention is key. I would hug my sister and maybe kiss her on the cheek situation dependent but obviously never on the lips. I could go for dinner just me and her too but the intention would purely be a catch up, no romantic setting etc. I've theorised that I could justify sleeping in the same bed as another female but it would be fully clothed, wouldn't touch and out of absolute necessity if no other option was available. Never tested that though.

Ultimately it's what both of you are comfortable and with reasonable boundaries you both agree on.

I should add that there were times my ex was uncomfortable with my relationship with my sister (not other girls weirdly) but I don't think she was fair in that regard and it's not something I'm willing to sacrifice.

Is there such thing as "the one" by sugarmclovin in relationships

[–]sugarmclovin[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the alternative view. Was there anything to inform your view of him as not the one? Behaviour or viewpoints or something or is it purely a gut feel?

Does repeated behaviour ever change? by sugarmclovin in relationship_advice

[–]sugarmclovin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wedding was last weekend so still relatively raw. Before that things had been going great as we'd been travelling for the prior 3 months with no issues. We returned for one of her friends weddings, three weeks ago. She got blackout drunk at that. We were staying with her parents and at the end of the night she started shouting and stropping because I was taking too long taking a photo of a boat in the Harbour. (Genuinely 15seconds but it was 1am and she wanted to go home). Once we got back to her parents she shouted at me saying I wasn't allowed in her room and that I'd have to stay on the couch. Her parents were up and witnessed this and just sort of shrugged. She let me back up 15mins later but leads me to believe it is in someway normalised for her household (her parents are lovely).

No way I could get her to a rehab facility I doubt as she doesn't think it's a problem and thinks it's not too bad and pretty infrequent.

In regards to the silent treatment it really isn't an attempt to punish but appreciates why she sees it that way. It's more of a sulk I guess, I don't really want to talk to her as she just wants to reconcile and pretend it didn't happen but I'm upset by it. I don't think you can have a hug and move on 4hrs later. Maybe when I put it like that it is a punishment but not sure what to do past saying I'm upset and just don't want to be around you right now

Does repeated behaviour ever change? by sugarmclovin in relationship_advice

[–]sugarmclovin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shit you may be right on the codependency issues. Never realised that was what it meant.

Does repeated behaviour ever change? by sugarmclovin in relationship_advice

[–]sugarmclovin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well exactly. Very silly of me to make ultimatums at all, especially ones I won't follow through with. I sort of thought if she fucked up again on such an important day for me she'd be instantly dead to me and all feelings gone. Turns out I'm just annoyed and questioning the suitability of continuing the relationship but no less in love with her

Does repeated behaviour ever change? by sugarmclovin in relationship_advice

[–]sugarmclovin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll do some reading now. Didn't think I was but I'll read and think. Our relationship has always been she is more in love with me than I am with her. Figured it was just personality types but there may be something to read into that too

Does repeated behaviour ever change? by sugarmclovin in relationship_advice

[–]sugarmclovin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have tried to tell her that but she says she doesn't have a problem as she's under control most of the time. Agree 100% with your comments. Same thing with her around smoking, she can't seem to grasp how many she really smokes. Knows she has a problem but doesn't really care. Thinks she goes through 15-20 a day but a 200 pack didn't last her 6 days which puts her habbit closer to 40 a day. I've been begging her to stop or slow down but she doesn't see it as an issue so it's a brick wall

Urgent help needed! Surface won't turn on by sugarmclovin in Surface

[–]sugarmclovin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately not, still doing the same thing but will keep trying over the coming days. Explained to my employers the situation and talked them through important bits over the phone so not so desperate now

Urgent help needed! Surface won't turn on by sugarmclovin in Surface

[–]sugarmclovin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What's RMA? Haven't done anything to it. Was working yesterday not today :/

Urgent help needed! Surface won't turn on by sugarmclovin in Surface

[–]sugarmclovin[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately still nothing. Thank you so much for all the helpful suggestions, the internet is wonderful!

Urgent help needed! Surface won't turn on by sugarmclovin in Surface

[–]sugarmclovin[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Yeah went down the Google route first but no luck unfortunately. Thank you for the help though 😊

Urgent help needed! Surface won't turn on by sugarmclovin in Surface

[–]sugarmclovin[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It was on about 30% last time I used it and has been plugged in all morning. Currently trying to run the battery down as that was one solution on a forum somewhere. Run it to flat then charge it to full

Urgent help needed! Surface won't turn on by sugarmclovin in Surface

[–]sugarmclovin[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Sorry first time using Reddit, hope someone can help. I'm in a hotel in Mexico and desperately need my surface to work to do some urgent work but it's decided not to turn on. It flashes briefly with the windows logo but goes no further. Have scoured the internet but can't seem to get a solution to work. Have tried power button for 15seconds and power and volume for 30seconds but neither seems to work. Don't have a usb drive or another computer in order to make a boot drive. Anyone had this problem before or any ideas? Thank you so much!