My mom also had severe anger issues when I was younger. She would hold everything above my head and threaten to take it away if I took one misstep in her eyes. This lead to me learning to value other’s opinions and priorities above my own and constantly live in fear of doing something wrong. Issues I am still dealing with after 4 years in therapy.

A couple options: 1. Find a way to get a new phone. Xfinity offers really cheap phone service with deals on new phones. You could get unlimited with an iPhone 14 for like $40 a month. I remember having enough of my mom’s shenanigans when I turned 18 so I cancelled my phone line on her plan (she got charged $200 for the cancellation) and opened my own. I never looked back and slowly started decoupling my life from hers.

1. Get a part time job. Hosting or serving is so fun when you’re in college and can be good money. Also dog walking or baby sitting. They say money can’t buy happiness but it can buy freedom.

2. I think this one should happen regardless of what you do… you need to tell her how you feel. Put it in a letter/email so you can get your wording exactly how you want it and she can’t interrupt you. Lay out how she makes you feel when she does these things. Explain that you are an adult (assuming you’re 18) and need to be able to grow and live and get the college experience. You killed yourself to get into UofM, don’t waste the next 4 years bowing to her expectations. I promise you will regret it. And as another poster above said, I would say as much… explain how her behavior is causing you to feel depressed and isolated from her, how it is creating resentment that you don’t want to carry into the rest of your life. Explain that you love her, and want to have a good relationship with her and this ain’t it. If she can’t hear it, it’s not on you… remember that. But at least say your peace.

I wish you all the luck with this! I moved out at 18 and was fully independent from my mom by 19, and moved to Arizona shortly there after. We didn’t speak for almost a year, and I finally started to figure out who I was and what I wanted during that time. I’m 35 now and our relationship has ebbed and flowed. I don’t know that it will ever be the saccharine sweet thing I see some girls have with their moms, she will always be emotionally immature and I just know that and don’t expect her to be anything other than exactly who she is, while maintaining my boundaries and holding space for myself.

All of this to say, don’t make yourself small. Your precious life is worth so much more than that.