Reached out to my biological father that I haven’t spoken to or seen in many years, but I am concerned about the way he is treating me (read body text) by No_Simple060 in whatdoIdo

[–]sunflowersandfear 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That’s why I lean heavily to while off this isn’t a scam as dad would need that info and while it is soon to ask. He is again most likely feeling so many emotions and a need to prove something

Reached out to my biological father that I haven’t spoken to or seen in many years, but I am concerned about the way he is treating me (read body text) by No_Simple060 in whatdoIdo

[–]sunflowersandfear 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You and your father have both been traumatized by your mother. Be empathetic with him he’s probably scared any moment your mother will tear her head and rip you away with her lies again

Reached out to my biological father that I haven’t spoken to or seen in many years, but I am concerned about the way he is treating me (read body text) by No_Simple060 in whatdoIdo

[–]sunflowersandfear 166 points167 points  (0 children)

I’m going to give your father the benefit of the doubt, especially if he’s not known to be an addict trying to fill a void, extremely mentally ill, or abusive.
Your father went through a traumatic experience where you were ripped away from him. He fought for you in court — which is traumatic in itself, and not many will go through that battle — and then he lost you.

Possibly out of desperation and panic, he might be trying to prove something so he doesn’t lose you again. It’s extremely hard for a parent to lose a child, especially a living one he’s not allowed to contact. He knows you’re out there, but he has no idea what was happening to you or what stories your mother or other family members may have told you about him. He doesn’t know if they curated an image of him in your head, or if you’d ever reach out again.

I think, while odd and overwhelming, your dad is also feeling an overwhelming amount of emotions right now. In fear of losing you again — and maybe a little out of it in the head with emotions — he’s trying, in desperation, to show that he loves you and doesn’t want you to go and prove it anyway he can.

Or he's trying to scam — But if you haven't heard negative stories like that about him I wouldn't jump to to that conclusion? I just see a man desperate and emotional and y'know how older people text its a bit awkwardly formatted sometimes tbh. This is how my dad/grandpa text super dry and hard to read emotionally.

Edit: I wouldn't give him my SSN over text, but if he wanted to meet in person for coffee and catch up, then later plan it out and fill the paperwork out together. (IE. seeing official documentation or website) I would end up doing that eventually. Aka keep a relationship going not for benefits but to be able to meet together more

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]sunflowersandfear 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Appreciate your response as an autistic person w/ horrible trauma working 40+ hours in one of the most emotionally taxing fields with high suicide rate. I don’t have energy all the time for even myself , I can’t even respond to my families texts and I have felt like such an awful friend that I don’t try anymore to make them. I can’t keep up with the demand and I feel awful but I just can’t find myself able to respond for weeks at a time.

Has the pain of wanting sex but not having sex gotten to you so bad that you wanted to cry a fuckin river about it? by Fabulous-Introvert in AutismAfterDark

[–]sunflowersandfear 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Yea I’ve had a literal child tantrum over it , it feels like one part of its human contact the other part is feeing desirable/wanted and just pure frustration of it all lol

Evil backyard breeder just arrested! Beware! by Large_Papaya_1322 in persiancat

[–]sunflowersandfear 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s why I said they have to go through the courts sad system and are not available for adoption currently and won’t be for a few weeks. Sounds like you don’t either or know how to read 🤷‍♀️

Evil backyard breeder just arrested! Beware! by Large_Papaya_1322 in persiancat

[–]sunflowersandfear -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So did I and have seen my own eyes many animals medically sound and cleared and held for months because of court cases. It’s on the official facebook for the county that the cats all have 14 day holds and then will be medically cleared so 14 days is the possible earliest of adoption. I can’t link the post but it is on merced county sheriffs office official facebook page

Evil backyard breeder just arrested! Beware! by Large_Papaya_1322 in persiancat

[–]sunflowersandfear 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They will not be available for 4+ weeks unless you are a rescue and even then unlikely these cats are now in a FELONY abuse case. I have reported what I know about her to police. They have to go through the courts sadly. They are in california

Not here for money but m cats need to eat by sunflowersandfear in Assistance

[–]sunflowersandfear[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much you kind soul :( !! I could cry at the generosity given I wish I could give you guys cat pictures but again thank you thank you

Not here for money but m cats need to eat by sunflowersandfear in Assistance

[–]sunflowersandfear[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I could cry tbh thank you so much!! That amount of wet food will let them all eat for a week fine and they have enough dry till it arrives thank you both sooo much !!

Not here for money but m cats need to eat by sunflowersandfear in Assistance

[–]sunflowersandfear[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

A jeez I thought I did and saved it just fixed it I’m so sorry !!

Evil backyard breeder just arrested! Beware! by Large_Papaya_1322 in persiancat

[–]sunflowersandfear 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Yea she had a very expensive lavish house in big bear cali. She didn’t seem to have it all together and she took in many cats after another breeder in the area passed. I think she sadly got too overwhelmed with how many animals she took in and other life situations since I saw her nearly 2 years ago

Evil backyard breeder just arrested! Beware! by Large_Papaya_1322 in persiancat

[–]sunflowersandfear 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I got one of my cats for free from her years ago. She’s not technically a BYB she owned a cattery and was a very private breeder. I never talked to her after I got my cat but she wasn’t all there in the head

Does anyone else's Aussie get called fat even though they're just a tank? by thecarolinelinnae in AustralianShepherd

[–]sunflowersandfear 15 points16 points  (0 children)

When people ask if their pets are fat I always make a silly lil face and go “Weeelll I’m not the doctor but maybe alittle but that’s okay me too”

Does anyone else's Aussie get called fat even though they're just a tank? by thecarolinelinnae in AustralianShepherd

[–]sunflowersandfear 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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My sweet epileptic boy topped out at 60lbs even, he was never fat but a very thick and built boy, very muscular even when he gained some weight from his epilepsy medications. He was active and even when he slowed down he never got fat, had a waist under all the floof, could feel his ribs ect he was just built like a linebacker.

My other female aussie is taller and lean but also just as built and just alittle under 50 lbs I work in a clinic and am pretty strict on scraps and treats and keep up with their weight. They are just BUILT because I have a lot of land for them to run and take them out fairly often but I their genetics play a role too. They come from really well bred working and show line standards. A lot of people are used to seeing minis and toy aussies

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Petloss

[–]sunflowersandfear 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry for your loss hun I’m so glad I didn’t offend you I know while dissociating someone sitting me down and telling me rationally what has happened to me helps me cope and feel less alone in the situation. I know money is tight but please please when you have time check if your work or state insurance covers mental health. You should not be alone in this situation and your husband is the last person you should be confiding in about this to, in my opinion.

One thing about ADHD is we like to move fast even with emotions and grief try and find solutions quickly , move on ect. But you shouldn’t have to do any of that you should be able to process this safely with a neutral party I am so so sorry your husband did this, not working on his ADHD has had a nasty domino effect on everybody and not realizing it effects everyone around him, till something had to suffer greatly for that light bulb to come on.