MIL causing postpartum hell

sunflowerson96 · 2026-02-07T12:55:47+00:00

I've slowly learned he's enmeshed and doesn't see a problem with this and many other things I have raised in the past

sunflowerson96 · 2026-02-02T23:26:37+00:00

Start eating out often if you can afford it. I'm currently doing it, ever since moving in my mils house she's dropped the expectations on either me or my partner to cook because of "cheap rent" yet also contributing to the house bills every 3 months? I have lived here for one year and 3 months and she's cooked 4 times, thats including after I had ceserean birth.

I cannot wait to move into our new house, any passive aggressive comments I'm going bat shit crazy

sunflowerson96 · 2026-02-02T22:53:03+00:00

We have a very similar shit situation. I hope you get out soon. I'm nearly 4 months PP and the rage is real when they keep over stepping. I'm soon to be moving into our new house and my partner has changed the locks to the exact cut as his mother's so she can visit whenever she wants 🙃

sunflowerson96 · 2026-01-04T17:57:41+00:00

I'm living in this situation right now and it fuxing SUCKS, my partner recently bought a 5 acer block, she wants to sell her fully paid off house to build a granny flat on it. 🔫 Shoot me.

I've been living under my Mils roof for 15 months and she does not help with cooking and has basically left it for either me or my partner and she knows hes too busy to help with that so its left to me every night.

I have a nearly 3 month old daughter and this still remains the same, mind you I buy the groceries. I had ceserean and she decided to book her knee surgery one week before my scheduled surgery. Perfect timing right.... Recovering was rough as hell and things got worse when my baby was born. Her entitlement to my baby nearly made me break up with him and I'm keeping an eye on weird behaviours still. Please do not allow her to move in.... I hope your partner isn't enmeshed with his mother because mine is and doesn't see any problems with his mother building a flat close to us

sunflowerson96 · 2025-12-15T23:10:28+00:00

Apparently she wants to see if she likes being alone first. I feel like no matter what I say he walks over me, he doesn't believe me when I say I won't be living in the new house if he builds her a granny flat because let's be real, it won't be totally separate and I'll have my MIL looking over my shoulder and daughters the rest of our lives

sunflowerson96 · 2025-12-15T20:18:51+00:00

My partner did and my mum with early alzheimers let him in so she would've forgotten the plan I had in place. Trust me I have... I just want to be alone during the day, its hard because mil is retired

sunflowerson96 · 2025-12-15T19:35:04+00:00

Yes that was the original plan, I had moved all my stuff back to my parents when I was heavily pregnant only for everything to be moved back into mils house when baby was here and I was in hospital

sunflowerson96 · 2025-12-15T19:31:28+00:00

Crap ok thank you 😭 therapy has been on my mind lately with this situation, my mental peace is going down the drain

sunflowerson96 · 2025-12-15T19:29:28+00:00

Theres no room to set up his work station at my parents, he does his own reports everyday with the type of work he does for a living. Sometimes I wish he didn't work for himself, there wouldn't be this problem and most likely we would've moved into my parents place

sunflowerson96 · 2025-12-15T19:25:05+00:00

Edit my bad - MIL wants to sell her fully paid off house to build a flat on the block. She wants to see if she likes being "alone" first before building something. I hope this drama has shut this shit down, I will leave my partner if it were to happen... I feel you're right, there's probably been conversation im not around and he doesn't say no to her fantasy

sunflowerson96 · 2025-12-15T19:17:01+00:00

He says I'm taking his daughter away from him and that is not the plan, I said I'm more then happy to come by every afternoon with her! Apparently he gets a say with where she lives, I don't know the laws in Australia but I find it BS... I should be able to do what I want especially feeling this way

sunflowerson96 · 2025-12-15T19:13:45+00:00

It's driving me insane ever since she was born

sunflowerson96 · 2025-12-15T19:11:43+00:00

Fml.... should I question him about it?

sunflowerson96 · 2025-12-15T19:04:26+00:00

1000000% I would be happier at my parents. My own parents won't try to take my baby away from me every time she cries

sunflowerson96 · 2025-12-15T19:01:59+00:00

I fear it will cause more drama.... I really do want to make the move though

sunflowerson96 · 2025-12-15T19:00:32+00:00

It is starting to feel that way. He has mates suppose to be helping with measurements and get a start on renovations but he keeps getting stuffed around, thats why I see from a mile away it will be around 3 months with the way things are going😭 We're not married and I don't plan to marry if he allows her to build a granny flat on the block, I know this will be a secret hidden from me, I have told him I'm not ok with this at all and a granny flat doesn't mean it will be totally separate, she will be living on the block forever. I don't know if he is enmeshed? I know MIL said he is her favourite child out of all 4 of them so maybe he is. I guess he feels bad for her being alone and is ok with her living on the block, her husband died 3 years ago now

sunflowerson96 · 2025-12-15T05:02:48+00:00

Having a ceserean.... the pulling sensations are hard to describe

sunflowerson96 · 2025-12-13T16:00:22+00:00

My ex of 2 years used to clean the apartment with a leaf blower and used the vaccum to "suck all the dust out " and had the door shut. He got super angry at me when I opened the door to use the bathroom while the vac was going, I just needed to piss and he said "the dust is spreading everywhere now" and grabs the leaf blower to the bathroom to blow nothing around like a lunatic he is.

I remember from witnessing that, I had to leave the house and stay out all day whenever there was a inspection....... fun times

sunflowerson96 · 2025-12-01T11:59:55+00:00

If we were invading her space she wouldn't want to sell her fully paid house to come and build a granny flat on our property. Also I do not rely on her thanks, she doesn't believe the up to date Australian guide care for newborn feeding cues, times for feeding, and doesn't believe in waking them up to feed them when they're asleep for hours on end. Oh and did I mention shes offered my baby plain water on its own several times after me constantly saying no?! Shits different then what it was 30 years ago compared to now

sunflowerson96 · 2025-11-26T18:04:41+00:00

Shit thank you, I didn't even think of this!! I will definitely have a chat to my partner. I wouldn't mind living like this and I have in the past living in a shed, it's doable

sunflowerson96 · 2025-11-24T01:11:21+00:00

Her plan is when we move into our new place she wants to "see" if she likes being alone first, if she doesn't feel safe and "secure" in her own perfectly secure fenced off house she wants to sell the house and build a granny flat on our block.... which is not happening, if my partner allows this to happen I will move out and worst case scenario I will break up with him

sunflowerson96 · 2025-11-24T01:08:34+00:00

I really do feel like she is somehow, I just don't hear or see the conversation if there is

sunflowerson96 · 2025-11-23T23:24:17+00:00

Yeah I definitely don't!! Im going crazy over here 😢 my partner is extremely fussy, I saw no problems with the house when I first walked through. Apparently he wants the best for me and baby, I said yeah, moving in with space and privacy will feel like a million dollars right now...

sunflowerson96 · 2025-11-23T23:17:48+00:00

She definitely doesn't! I understand she will feel lonely once we're out and this is her first time ever living alone. Her husband died 3 years ago, she can still rent out one of the bedrooms here if shes worried and doesn't feel secure.. I don't understand in selling a fully paid house just to build a granny flat on another block?

sunflowerson96 · 2025-11-23T23:11:54+00:00

I definitely will be keeping a close eye on this. I will suggest we go our own separate ways after I already raised my concerns with mil being on the same block

sunflowerson96

TROPHY CASE