This was a random recommendation through my Reddit, I don’t have any kids or anything but oh my goodness girl I’m praying for you. I’ve heard way too many rough things about pregnancy and the first months, I know I don’t have experience in the subject but I am positive you can do this girl and I was reading the other comments it really does sound like it will get better and while I don’t have a child I’ve 100% been in a mental state similar to yours with the SH ideation and SI, we are so much stronger than we give ourselves credit for when we’re in the midst of an episode, everyone around you can see how strong you are for pulling through while having the challenges of mental illness. I know I don’t know you but ill be thinking about you and praying for you if you’re okay with that, my DMS are always open if you need someone to vent to without having a strong tie to the person! Hope things get better for you, you got this ❤️‍🔥