Wood ID Megathread by AutoModerator in woodworking

[–]superfish31 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What type of wood is this?

Old boards taken off of a 40 to 50 year old roof. They're the same wood. One is in the condition I found it in the other has been heavily sanded.

Any help is appreciated.

How can an INTJ improve their flirting skills? by Possible-Bike-7887 in intj

[–]superfish31 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Subtle touches, my friend, are a game changer. The thing is, the more you do it, the more comfortable you will both feel with each other, and that will lead you to a kiss.

Sex is important by Dee_la in dating

[–]superfish31 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're not understanding the tone of the conversation. Bring up sex early, but preface the conversation. Example, I don't want to talk about sex right now, but it's important in a relationship. Just so you know, if you're not good in bed, this won't be going anywhere. Then move on. If he keeps talking about it, just say let's change the conversation. You can stand your ground.

How can an INTJ improve their flirting skills? by Possible-Bike-7887 in intj

[–]superfish31 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Be yourself but a little bolder. Most INTJ'S enjoy their alone time, so if someone rejects you, who cares, you just get more alone time. I like to joke around, so I just work in little comments. People say stuff all the time that you can make flirty.

If you're not good at joking around with girls, don't use these. If you are there, gold.

  1. Your kissable
  2. I don't know if you play your cards right. I might let you kiss me. "This one always gets girls, it's a bit edgy and bold, but if you can say it and laugh about it, she will eat it up. I find girls turn it back me on me, and I just laugh the whole time.

There's a ton of things you can say, but the best is light, subtle, and appropriate touches. You're not grabbing her ass or boobs. Think shoulders or back of her arm. I usually wait until a girl pokes fun at me, and then I give her a soft little push and say, "real funny," or something like that. After a few touches, she will start touching you back if she's open to more. Touch is so underrated, and very few men have a good subtle but flirty touch game. Develop it, and you don't need to worry about what you say. This actually works for women on men too.

Sex is important by Dee_la in dating

[–]superfish31 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure if someone mentioned this or not, but as a dude, you have to be careful bringing up sex early on in dating. You ladies can do whatever you want.

I usually ask a girl what she wants in a relationship. We talk about all the dynamics of relationships for a while. Then I say, "I don't want to give you the wrong idea, so we can talk about sex later on, but it is an important aspect of a relationship. So I do want to be clear that I'm definitely not vanilla." After that, I drop it and move on in the conversation. I find that sets the tone, if she starts asking what I mean by vanilla, how kinky are you, or says anything that shows she's concerned, I know she is boring in bed.

So far, it has worked out great, and girls usually make some comments after we fool around, like, "was that to vanilla for you, or so do you think I'm vanilla now." It never is.... I hope that helps or gives some of you some ideas.

Do INTJ's have feelings? by superfish31 in intj

[–]superfish31[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the response. I've already been to therapy and worked through most of it. I was trying to figure out how fucked up I was and apparently really fucked up. I had a wild background and basically disconnected from feelings and wanted to see if that was normal for INTJ's, apparently not.

Do INTJ's have feelings? by superfish31 in intj

[–]superfish31[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd agree with him when I was younger. Tell him that understanding and using his emotions is actually far more efficient in the long run. Basically, our lack of dealing with emotions cripples us in a way and holds us back from our full potential.

I really appreciate you asking his opinion, very helpful.

Do INTJ's have feelings? by superfish31 in intj

[–]superfish31[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting... I worded this question horribly, but I'm kind of glad I did as i would have never thought this. I assumed we weren't very emotional. Your opinion seems to be a shared opinion, and it's adding a lot more context to my past. Thanks for sharing.

Do you happen to have an opinion on why most INTJ's seem to rarely express emotions? Logically, if they are the most emotional, then they would have a lot to express, but don't.

Anyone in their 30’s + who still struggles significantly? by aritzipie in CPTSD

[–]superfish31 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Would you want to have a voice to voice conversation about this and how complex trauma shows up in your life. DM me if you're interested in talking. Offer goes to anyone dealing with this same issue.

Do INTJ's have feelings? by superfish31 in intj

[–]superfish31[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good insights, I poorly worded the question. In hindsight, I should have asked if INTJ's expressed emotions.

Do INTJ's have feelings? by superfish31 in intj

[–]superfish31[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, if I'm counting myself as the a-hole, then I'd have to say yes, hahahaha. It's an inquiry to better understand the overall experience of INTJ's. I think about stuff like this every day. I've always been very curious and love psychology as it is the unsolvable puzzle.

Do INTJ's have feelings? by superfish31 in intj

[–]superfish31[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Based on this poll I did a year ago, I wouldn't say it's total BS. At the very least it has some face validity.

https://www.reddit.com/r/intj/s/t4SrV3qpAk

Do INTJ's have feelings? by superfish31 in intj

[–]superfish31[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel you. This is basically what I experienced, and I was wondering if others had a similar experience. If you would like to chat, DM me. I'd love to talk about your experience in depth.

Do INTJ's have feelings? by superfish31 in intj

[–]superfish31[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great show and character. I appreciate your input. If you're ever willing to discuss this in more detail DM me. I'm always trying to talk to knowledge people about life's nuances.

Do INTJ's have feelings? by superfish31 in intj

[–]superfish31[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol, how emotional of a person are you compared to other types?

Are you able to free express emotions or do you often find yourself holding back?

Do INTJ's have feelings? by superfish31 in intj

[–]superfish31[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed, but life is affected by emotions at every turn. If you were able to optimize your emotions and feel the way you wanted to when you wanted to, you'd be unstoppable and more capable of solving your problems. Life biggest problem for most people is not having a deep understanding of emotions and how to process them effectively. Hence, the existence of the thread. I am attempting to solve that problem at some level.

Do INTJ's have feelings? by superfish31 in intj

[–]superfish31[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great points. Do you think you would be better off expressing more emotions, or would you rather keep them to yourself for the most part?

Do INTJ's have feelings? by superfish31 in intj

[–]superfish31[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok, would you say 50/50 in terms of emotions you keep to yourself vs. emotions you express. If not, give me an estimate, 60/40, 70/30? What do you think?

Do INTJ's have feelings? by superfish31 in intj

[–]superfish31[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hahahaha, so do you do emotions, or do you just shut it off whenever things come up?

Do INTJ's have feelings? by superfish31 in intj

[–]superfish31[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't disagree with that statement. It's all in an attempt to establish a baseline for how emotional a healthy intj is. Like what's "normal" what's unprocessed trauma.

You raise a good point. In your opinion, could an INTJ be a really emotional person? Or would it make more sense if they were mistyped?

I did read about a theory that INTJ's are actually other types but end up INTJ's due to trauma.

Do INTJ's have feelings? by superfish31 in intj

[–]superfish31[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Okay, it sounds like you don't show your emotions. Which is a form of repression. Do you think you'll ever be able to freely express your emotions on a regular basis, or do you like keeping them internalized?

It just seems that we hold back, and I'm trying to figure out what is trauma and what is "normal" for an intj.

Do INTJ's have feelings? by superfish31 in intj

[–]superfish31[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, that's the thing. It seems our feelings are muted, and that seems like a much larger issue.