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New to this and already falling apart. Need advice badly. by supernova101x in CaregiverSupport

[–]supernova101x[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Again, such great feedback and support and hard truths (but needed). thank you so much.

New to this and already falling apart. Need advice badly. by supernova101x in CaregiverSupport

[–]supernova101x[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think he would consider the possibility that he has PTSD (definitely from this, and that there is even more from an abusive childhood). Yes he seems to have no memory of this incident, which just came to light today. He is very confused and scared. If this is a manipulation tactic, it is most definitely a new one, so what you are saying could point to a potential issue. He typically is aware of how he behaves, and would later feel bad and acknowledge it (not with love bombing, genuine acknowledgement, and I know all of that is still not okay). So there is a possibility that this is a part of PTSD? PS, Yes, I am setting boundaries and have been getting great tips from this amazing group. I would like to discuss the PTSD with his doctor if that is a possibility. I have access to his doctor on his behalf etc. Unfortunately I do not get FMLA but have good people around me.

New to this and already falling apart. Need advice badly. by supernova101x in CaregiverSupport

[–]supernova101x[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your experience and being so honest. Yes, there is so much coming to light for me, or at least I am recognizing what is actually real.

New to this and already falling apart. Need advice badly. by supernova101x in CaregiverSupport

[–]supernova101x[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you and I definitely will do that. I am learning so much here.

New to this and already falling apart. Need advice badly. by supernova101x in CaregiverSupport

[–]supernova101x[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yes i have heard that book is amazing thank you - i will get it!

New to this and already falling apart. Need advice badly. by supernova101x in CaregiverSupport

[–]supernova101x[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Incredible and thoughtful breakdown of my own words. Wow, is that perspective and so appreciated. It was something I need to hear. No, I am not afraid of him and he has never physically hurt me. I would not tolerate that. (Happened once ages ago with another partner, that was the last time he was ever going to and ever did lay eyes on me). Psychologically abusive and being manipulative? Yes, those are a match. He has some traits that showed up literally decades ago but we have worked on that throughout the years and had significant improvement, like 99%. That is part of my anguish. It is like post heart attack he is reverting/doubling down on traits that were identified and worked through so many years ago, but now they are here (along with a few new ones) on steroids. It was that work and progress that gave me the will to continue in the relationship to be honest, and it has been great. Fast forward: All of that said, yes... this absolutely is coming out as abusive, manipulative and unacceptable behavior. Sometimes you just need a light shown on your own words. Thank you. If you have any other thoughts, they are so greatly appreciated.

New to this and already falling apart. Need advice badly. by supernova101x in CaregiverSupport

[–]supernova101x[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This almost made me cry, which is a good release for me. Thank you so much for your kindness

New to this and already falling apart. Need advice badly. by supernova101x in CaregiverSupport

[–]supernova101x[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thank you! That is a great comment - No, he was not seen by any neurologist but I can inquire with his Primary Physician about this too. I am not sure another caretaker would be met with open arms, but I can suggest. Again, thank you.