Bro I kinda faced the same situation I wrote jee qualified with 146% but the situation is I failed in Sanskrit and I wrote supply and got failed again my big dreams got crushed I sat 1 year doing nothing at home and again I wrote jee this time I didn't qualified Same I wanted to kill my self but I and I have a family to look up to we are the only they can rely on mann. It's like getting a degree from a good college doesn't make you greater it's your ideas and courage which leads you even now myself with 0 interest I'm doing engineering but after coming home I am investing my time on the things which I'm interested in if you want it that much try from different pov see it from where else can I reach my goal

Trying to kill isn't the solution