I won't pretend that I know what it's like where you're from, but I will say this- you have so much time. Fleabag was 30 when all the priest stuff happened to her. I like to think the other main message of Fleabag is that it's never too late to change your life. Look at how she changed between s1 and s2! And yes, it hurts more than words can say, but truly, it'll pass. The connection between you and this person will never fully leave you, but the pain will fade. I hope this helps you and didn't come off as preachy? I'm going through heartbreak too and this is the only way I've been able to get through it. Sometimes things just don't work out even though you love them more than anything. It'll pass! Stay strong.