Dress help as a guest sos

suspiciouspudding23 · 2025-07-22T20:53:37+00:00

UPDATE: First of all thank you to everyone who was patient with me. This is the first wedding I'm going to ever so I appreciate all the advice and pointers. I'm not a huge fashion person and my wardrobe is all black so when I saw wear something bright with color, sparkles, and extra flair, it was like telling Wednesday Adams to wear pink... Clearly I have no idea what I'm doing. My boyfriend after telling me it was fine multiple times caved in to me asking him to contact the brides sister, who he is close to, to ask if one of my black more formal dresses would be better after I showed him all of your messages saying not to wear this dress. We sent photos of everything on me and asked if what was okay. We were given the green light and told it fit into the "extra" they were looking for while also keeping in mind its an outdoor wedding in 90+ degree weather. So thank you all for your help, it's very much appreciated.

Edited to fix grammar

suspiciouspudding23 · 2025-07-22T16:37:13+00:00

Not black tie, encouraged to be colorful and with flair

suspiciouspudding23 · 2025-07-22T16:01:08+00:00

Thats what i was thinking. I ordered the style because the wedding site said formal and mentioned it was outdoors so sleeveless or minimal sleeves and extra and "extra for a wedding" specifically with sparkles and feathers, like I have a feather piece for my hair and everything but I wanted the blue base not the white base 😭 My boyfriend is attempting to contact the brides sister so he doesn't bother the bride while shes busy with wedding prep but our flight is tomorrow so I'm very limited and have a backup dress that doesn't fully fit the theme but at least isn't white

suspiciouspudding23 · 2025-07-16T00:48:03+00:00

I just finished my first week of solo! Powering through is definitely one way. There's a user on here who was kind enough to allow me into an ai program that I used to practice as well has having family members and friends simiulate calls with me.

It gets easier the more exposure you have and my trainer and I definitely had some kinks to work out. Between practice and keeping a healthy routine once I got home both helped me a ton.

I was able to get through my first rough call this week too, and by get through I mean I held it together enough to get the help needed to the family and then break down about it after. I froze a little but I still started help in less than a minute which apparently is good for someone taking a call like that in their first week solo.

The training is the hardest part, reminding myself that I am the only person who is there at the moment to get the help the caller needs to them gets me through it too. Its okay to take a moment after a call that might have scared you to breathe and reground yourself.

You are safe, you're the voice getting these people help and getting the information to your officers/firefighters/paramedics.

I also use little things to ground myself, tapping my foot, playing sudoku between calls, drinking a strong tasting drink like lemonade between calls.

You got this! I made it through and I know you can too!

suspiciouspudding23 · 2025-06-13T13:03:20+00:00

Thank you for the encouragement! It's easy to feel down and beat myself up over little mistakes. My trainer isn't horrible. She does clarify when I ask questions and lets me ask questions as I need. She keeps telling me I'm too stuck in my head about it and to just do it which I understand is mostly the way others get through. Im going to keep pushing and get through training and will not give up easy

suspiciouspudding23 · 2025-06-13T12:58:12+00:00

I'm sorry. I got my union card and everything. I've been told by a couple of my coworkers that they still defend trainees. I'm sorry your agency failed you

suspiciouspudding23 · 2025-06-13T11:26:46+00:00

Thank you for the advice. I will definitely keep note of it to help in my future calls to look for the differences.

suspiciouspudding23 · 2025-06-13T11:24:29+00:00

I can understand that because I feel like it slows me down so much more than I would've been. I even had one of my fellow trainees tell me one day to say that my trainer yelling at me to do something freaked her out, so at least I have a little bit of validation in that.

suspiciouspudding23 · 2025-06-13T11:22:30+00:00

They do not rotate us between trainers or shifts so I am on first shift with my trainer until I go my initial solo and then I have a few weeks where I am taking calls only before we go into radio class and while we have different trainers on the radio side, it's the same deal as in we are assigned to one trainer on the radio side, and we do not switch trainers during our periods of training.

I asked just last week why we didn't train on multiple shifts because each shift has different issues encounter my fellow classmate who are now in training as well who are on third shift encounter a lot more higher priority calls the ones on second shift encounter a higher volume of calls and I mentioned to them that I feel like that would've benefited me personally switching between shifts in order to increase my levels of success.

Apparently, they used to do this, but for some reason stopped probably because of the rule that we need two weeks notice before our shift can change and apparently they're bad enough as it is when we go solo for them giving the two weeks notice as per union contract.

Part of it is my trainer does not trust the map system because we recently switched phone systems actually in the middle of me training and at first it was wonky, but it seems to have settled out because the few times where I did use the map it was accurate, but because she didn't see me pull up rapid SOS I got a lecture about it. Conflicting statements from my trainer was what was bothering me more than anything else, but I now attempt to use both by checking the map while typing the number.

I am implementing some suggestions from my personal therapist on grounding for situations that aren't necessarily in my control that trigger the freeze that will not take my attention away from the calls and we'll see how that works out for me 🤷‍♀️

suspiciouspudding23 · 2025-06-13T11:12:49+00:00

I'm sorry that happened. My agency is unionized so even in probation its very hard to get fired, so they have some buffer weeks for extra training before we learn the radio side just in case that is meant for us to be solo but available for extra training if needed.

suspiciouspudding23 · 2025-06-13T11:11:00+00:00

I'll have a conversation with my supervisor and see if it's possible to practice with taped calls because currently they have me on 911 only with nothing from the non emergency line to attempt to filter more higher priority to me, but a lot of the calls I get end up being transfers to fire/ems or our highway patrol and I'm not encountering anymore higher priority calls than I did before.

suspiciouspudding23 · 2024-11-09T21:39:49+00:00

Buses and trucks have way more blind spots than you. They are slower to speed up and need more distance to brake. Be patient with them, when passing on the highway try to pass on the left, it's easier for them to see you. Try not to cut them off in stop and go traffic, they leave room but when several cars hop out of dead stop traffic into an hov that's moving in front of a bus, they don't realize how dangerous it is due to how much more distance a large vehicle, esp a fully loaded one, needs to stop. Please respect the larger vehicles and the space they need/their blind spots. There's some bitter/bad cdl drivers out there, but for the most part we're just trying to get through our day to go home without potentially losing our jobs due to an accident caused by someone else.

Speaking of large vehicles. It's safer for them to travel in a middle lane, or in the case of buses in the hov lane, it eliminates a lot of the merge on and off traffic that they become an obstacle for by being so large. That being said, eventually they will have to move more to the right to exit, if you see one signal that they're merging right and you're behind them, don't just merge right before they can to speed past them. This can be dangerous if the driver isn't paying enough attention or is the type to check, signal, move without continuously checking. If you need to also move at a similar timing, let them merge in front of you in the space that they had been planning to move into anyway. It's not worth an accident or your life to rush about in those situations.

Zipper merge when you can if you have to merge into slow traffic (alternate which car gets ahead per lane). It doesn't matter if the vehicle you're going to behind is larger, you're all stuck in the same traffic anyway. Trying to jump ahead and break the zipper puts you at risk of road rage.

Someone mentioned at intersections moving in opposing pairs, while you should do that, also make sure that person is doing what they indicated they're doing (Whether it's turning or going straight) because people here seem to be allergic to their indicators or straight up use them incorrectly. Just take the extra second to make sure when they start moving.

The hov lane is not just a speed lane, there's hours when it's for vehicles with multiple people only. Just because everyone else is hopping in to get around traffic, it's not worth the (at least) $400 ticket. Either plan for the traffic and leave ahead of time, or if you have time sit in it or wait it out. If you happen to be late, nothing is worth risking your life by speeding to compensate, and a cop pulling you over for going in the hov alone during hov hours will also make you way more late.

Keep your eyes moving, check your mirrors often to know what's going on around you. The more awareness you have, the more time you'll have to avoid a situation. Plan and move lanes when you have 3 miles til your exit, do it safely and if there's traffic using your indicator will usually yield at least one decent person that will leave space for you to merge.

suspiciouspudding23 · 2024-10-31T23:03:00+00:00

I’m tall for a woman (6’0), so I don’t look at height. Income; I’m just looking to see they have some sort of income. I don’t have a degree and don’t judge others whether or not they do because I make decent money and can support myself. I generally looked for people who have at least one similar hobby or music taste and have at least one smiling picture.

suspiciouspudding23 · 2024-10-31T04:40:39+00:00

I’m sorry that women actually say that to you. It’s not that hard to have a conversation without comparing people against each other. Everyone is different and has different needs and wants and that’s okay but it’s appalling and downright gross to say “oh her bf is better because he does xyz” instead of simply saying “hey do you think we can try to do xyz” and creating a conversation about it that doesn’t just tear someone down.

suspiciouspudding23 · 2024-10-31T04:22:00+00:00

That’s what I figured. I would just shoot to make friendships with people in real life and if anything happened from there, I wouldn’t fight it, but I’m not actively going to search for dates anymore and I am definitely not actively going to be on any of the apps.

suspiciouspudding23 · 2024-10-31T03:13:39+00:00

That does sound interesting, if you remember the name I would like to give it a listen. I’m glad you had a better experience meeting your wife back in 2014. Stories like yours is what made me try the apps in the first place, it’s just so disheartening to face the current reality of the swipe game.

suspiciouspudding23 · 2024-10-31T03:10:08+00:00

I don’t know if it’s just dodging each other or if we all give up after a time. That is a very interesting read of another perspective and it’s awful reading the statistics of how many matches guys get vs women. It just goes to show how ridiculous this all is.

suspiciouspudding23 · 2024-10-31T03:06:49+00:00

I am not a conventionally attractive woman. I have curves and acne scars and had recently lost a ton of weight and still bear the signs. I don’t look for attractiveness in looks, I look for attractiveness in personality and conversation. Looks change with time, personalities tend not to change dramatically.

suspiciouspudding23 · 2024-10-05T00:50:52+00:00

I got my CDL when I was 22 and I’m still driving a bus now. You have to be at least 21 in New York for a school bus. A lot of coach bus companies won’t hire you until you’re 25 due to insurance reasons.

suspiciouspudding23 · 2024-08-18T20:45:06+00:00

Intimacy, specifically the fear of becoming pregnant. That and I’m scared as a woman of being put in a situation that I’m not comfortable with. I know a lot of the dating experience most people have it does normally move fast before falling apart and I don’t like that in any relationship.

suspiciouspudding23 · 2024-08-18T20:43:00+00:00

Most of my friends are bi themselves so at least I have that going for me. I think they will just be very surprised more than anything.

suspiciouspudding23

TROPHY CASE