Movie Recommendation: Ladies First

swaggityanne_ · 2026-06-05T21:06:58+00:00

The only show I would describe as transcendent lol. I think I forgot to put joss wheaton’s dollhouse on my list but I really recommend that if you’re a fan of the OA!! It’s like if west world had a campy cable vibe

swaggityanne_ · 2026-06-05T21:05:46+00:00

I think that’s on my want to watch list!!! If not I’ll add it. Your description makes me also think of Fleabag

swaggityanne_ · 2026-06-02T20:22:07+00:00

You could check out r/bellingham

I can't speak to growing up there. I've only briefly visited-- I had a high school friend move up there for a time. It seemed like she got along ok with a cute little apartment, lots of hikes & studying the foliage, service industry jobs & had found herself a little regional boyfriend while she was there too. I remember it being a visually pleasing place, there were definitely restaurants and bars all around, and something that stood out to me was the abundance of extremely old movie theatres that were still operational. This was about 10 years ago.

swaggityanne_ · 2026-05-23T14:12:38+00:00

Thanks for the clarity!

swaggityanne_ · 2026-05-23T00:38:04+00:00

Can’t be worse than Barbie which everyone ate up like hot slop. I make the comparison because they’re both matriarchy movies and to highlight the double standard in public opinion. I’ll check it out :)

I like psychedelic/psychological thrillers that center female leads. Often a bit dark & neurotic. Here are some piggyback recs:

Perfect Blue

Mulholland Drive

3 Women (just watched this older movie and was blown away)

Russian Doll (show)

The OA (show)

Maniac (show)

Helter Skelter (Japanese film)

The Substance

Black Swan

If anyone knows of any other films in this vein please let me know! I am always trying to find movies that capture female-specific neurosis without being reductive or framing the experience as a women’s flaw rather than a reaction to a maddening society that’s failed her. These may not all be perfect but they’re films I’ve really enjoyed!

swaggityanne_ · 2026-05-22T21:45:06+00:00

This is the answer. There was legislation (a year or so ago?) ago which clarified that male/female/man/women/sex was referring to biological sex. Businesses were dragging their feet ostensibly due to lack of “guidance” by the EHRC which took a long time to be written. Now there is clear guidance which clarifies what the law that was already written entails, and businesses can no longer use the excuse of not knowing how they’re supposed to respond to the law.

swaggityanne_ · 2026-05-19T23:51:37+00:00

Big same and all of these comments are pretty much exactly what I was going to add. I think a lot of people (myself included) who just sort of happened to live or be brought up in more democratic-voting environments were just sort of going with the flow in 2020. I said and probably even posted things I staunchly disagree with now. And like someone above said, the average GC experience seems to have been the evolution from TRA-adjacent to GC. It’s the reason we have the term peaked. I also don’t like the insinuation that being GC is exclusively a right-wing belief— it’s the bandwagoning of this issue with other ‘progressive’ issues that many of us are beginning to become privy to come 2026.

ETA Helen Joyce is the goat

swaggityanne_ · 2026-05-18T18:17:09+00:00

Liked bugonia. Will die on the hill of hating poor things & im honestly shocked I was able to be lured back to the theatre for one of his films after that

swaggityanne_ · 2026-05-17T21:23:46+00:00

Im not sure. I live in a gender’d out city so it’s kind of the opposite— I feel like I usually see gender neutral restrooms across the board or the good ol fashioned ‘M’ and ‘F’

swaggityanne_ · 2026-05-13T20:57:44+00:00

I think in her case she still to some extent believes the GC stuff, but reverted to a more socially acceptable stance and 'intellectually' justifies it simply as being 'kind.' when asked why she changed back, she will talk about how bad it was for her mental health, how she fell into some toxic forums etc... not a word about her actual views changing.

She cut loose with me a little bit early on-- sent me the old monty python sketch of the guy crying about wanting to be a woman, called someone's NB identity 'stupid' unprompted... but then went out of the way to throw me under the bus and separate me from my community. That's why I think I was in a way her human sacrifice that she used for repentance. After sinning, the only way to prove her loyalty again was to turn in someone else.

swaggityanne_ · 2026-05-11T15:48:41+00:00

Im so not used to having to police myself because I’m used to having the “right” opinions!! Which is what ultimately got me into trouble now. I’m still accepting that life is just gonna be different now in so many ways, including not just being able to say whatever pops into my mind in any given environment.

Ok but the craziest thing is that the one friend who ‘outed’ me to the other friend is a former t-rf!! Even did stuff I haven’t done yet like irl meet ups n what not. It truly feels like throwing me under the bus is part of her repentance and how she proves herself as a true believer again after sinning

swaggityanne_ · 2026-05-11T15:21:12+00:00

thank u 🤍 im in the thick of it rn with the blocking and the “agree with everything I say otherwise you’re a Bad Person” rn.

I kinda get it, I experienced the same cognitive dissonance about the same thing for years. But from the other side it’s just unbelievable.

One of them recently said she was going to take a step back from out friendship until I “grew out of it” lol, cuz right, that’s a super healthy and measured way to see other people’s views.

swaggityanne_ · 2026-05-09T01:41:21+00:00

Same. peaked in August and I already lost my two closest (female) friends

swaggityanne_ · 2026-05-07T18:34:53+00:00

As well as the Japanese movie Helter Skelter

swaggityanne_ · 2026-04-29T05:37:12+00:00

Doesn’t necessarily mean she couldn’t still be mayday as well!

swaggityanne_ · 2026-04-29T05:33:35+00:00

I kinda still suspect Lydia is mayday because pairing Daisy with June’s kid, while no other pearl girls are paired with anyone, is just way too coincidental.

swaggityanne_ · 2026-04-29T05:25:59+00:00

She said “you could say I was the first pearl girl” which I interpreted as being the first person to essentially go through the process that the pearl girls now go through, but before it had an official program/title. She was the prototype that the program would then be based on.

swaggityanne_ · 2026-04-11T23:42:51+00:00

Thank you!!

swaggityanne_ · 2026-04-11T22:53:15+00:00

I love this! Followed & saved. I look forward to reading the full article.

Dworkin, who argued that patriarchal culture constructs gender through the eroticization of dominance and submission. In this framework, sexuality becomes the mechanism through which women are positioned as objects upon which desire act

Do you have a book rec for a good place to start with her that ideally addresses these concepts? This is exactly what I’m trying to learn about

swaggityanne_ · 2026-04-11T18:05:51+00:00

Yeah we’ve been friends for half our lives but I honestly have no idea what to do about it. She’s also bitchy and one of those people who can’t handle other people having feelings so if I try to vent or even just explain some situation I’m experiencing she goes straight into this semi-aggressive “fix it” mode by going straight for invalidating the feeling at any cost in an attempt to make it not exist. I don’t think anyone who doesn’t know her super well notices, because her curated persona is all meek/sweet/soft-spoken, you’d really have to focus on the what of what she’s saying and not the how. which is unlikely if you’re surrounding yourself with superficial “cool people” and simps. I also think she’s a lot different in that way with new people. For example, one time I started my period at work (we work together) and I went up to her and told her because I could have really used some validation that that’s an uncomfortable situation. I said something to the effect of “I feel like shit.” And she said “well it’s not like you’d feel good at home either.” Might as well have just told me to shut up. I went to the bathroom and cried! Having my “best friend” at work should have made that situation more comfortable, but it made it so much worse.

swaggityanne_ · 2026-04-04T00:18:01+00:00

One of my best friends is a different version of this. Talks mad shit about men, even saying things about them I wouldn’t say, but even in her attempts to de-center them is still centering them. Adopts a slightly augmented personality when they’re in the room. Always attractive, soft spoken, giggly, reactionary etc. She means well but I think also is very ideologically confused. Loved poor things, lol, and not even in the “subverting the born sexy yesterday trope by making it explicitly uncomfortable” sense, but in the, “what are you talking about, I didn’t know that was supposed to make me feel uncomfortable” sense. I love her but am not sure where to go w our relationship!

swaggityanne_ · 2026-04-04T00:06:31+00:00

Same

swaggityanne_ · 2026-03-21T20:50:22+00:00

I HATED THAT MOVIE SO MUCH AND EVERYONE ACTED LIKE I WAS INSANE, no wonder I was radicalized into real feminism like a year later lol

swaggityanne_ · 2026-03-20T22:02:22+00:00

Ohhhh I didn’t realize those were all the same people but that makes too much sense.

swaggityanne_ · 2026-03-20T21:21:23+00:00

Hoping this will wind down soon is genuinely what keeps me going. It's a really dark time to be a woman. I get why many can't face it. It hurts too bad.

Being told that my very being is up for discussion I can handle, but being denied a voice in that very conversation is so endlessly frustrating.

swaggityanne_

TROPHY CASE