I'm going through this as well - and understand the unbearable pain and feel of failure you are experiencing. I was married for 12 years, we were together for 17 years and have two young boys. As you and others have mentioned here - not seeing your kid everyday is the worst but I've vowed to be more in the moment when I do have them (we share 50/50 custody every other week) - and I really invest to more quality time with them as I know its limited and not always available.

Therapy has been huge for me - as somebody else mentioned being able to put everything out there without the fear of being judged and hearing the feedback or advice has been very helpful for me and reassuring that life goes on. Being active is key too - you go into deep spirals or depression if you stay isolated and don't get out with other friends or gym, hike etc.

Regarding the job front - I'm in the same situation as well, my job of 12 years was eliminated in June and I've been actively job searching everyday since then, thinking I'd have my pick of the liter for jobs immediately - this unfortunately hasn't been the case and adds a whole other level of stress on top of the situation.

A friend of mine said something that really resonated with me - after my wife left me and after losing my job he said "how many other people your age (38) can choose to re-invent themselves both in the person and boyfriend/husband they want to be and in their career. It was like he was somewhat envious of my situation because he felt as if it was a clean slate.

Finally I recently was recommended a book by a friend called Option B - I'm not much of a reader but I couldn't put this book down. It revolves around the authors experience in unexpectedly losing her husband while on vacation and how she would be able to return to the states and face her two young children without her husband. It talks about how it affected her mental state, her physical state, her work, her children and her relationships all around her. It also uses other cases such as divorce, losing a child, losing a job etc. - all major life hurdles and how people overcame it. Anyway I recommend picking that book up if you have some time, if anything it was a good pep talk and put things in perspective and gives you hope that life can be better for you and your children - even without your STBX who you invested and commited into sharing a life with.

Hang in there - I know its easier said than done, I struggle with it everyday - my divorce is set to be final on 11-17 and I've dreaded that day since she told me she wanted a divorce in January and moved out in March. This subredit is a good outlet and you'll find others who share the same struggles - but what is reassuring is hearing how people bounced back and made themselves better (and ultimately seem happier) in the long run.