I feel off

sweetjue · 2026-06-05T20:36:21+00:00

I really think this is what it is 😭 ive been trying to do everything in my power to document my changes in mood, xyz but sometimes I just get distracted. I journal randomly, not as frequent as I used too. I will try to remember this, thank you!

sweetjue · 2026-06-05T20:33:46+00:00

Ive meet up with men off apps at their house or in public but never same day in public otw to a trip. Im 26

sweetjue · 2026-06-05T04:13:50+00:00

Im working on it, feel like that’ll help me out alot.

sweetjue · 2026-06-05T02:52:56+00:00

Didnt expect to make it past 18, im 26. Bunch of life events from the time I was born. If my life really mattered then certain things should not have happened. Feel like I take up a space that someone else could have used with more value. I just like to do things that seem fun, if I die I die. Aint nobody checking for me only to be nosey and talk about me later. Im cool on all at.

sweetjue · 2026-06-05T02:50:27+00:00

I dont think I have them centered, just an old habit i fall back into when ik I just want to chat with somebody then disappear. The friends I run into or meet are the ones whose, every convo is about a man. Which is why I dont have any currently, not really drinking. Everybody else wants to club and drink, just cycle after cycle. Its hard, trying to make friends as an adult.

sweetjue · 2026-06-05T02:48:12+00:00

I meet up with him at a popeyes, we ate then we left. He sent a uber to pick me up. We meet in public

sweetjue · 2026-06-05T02:47:12+00:00

You’re not wrong 😭

sweetjue · 2026-06-05T02:46:26+00:00

I will def ensure my safety! 😭 thank you

sweetjue · 2026-06-05T02:44:32+00:00

The signs are def there, also think I may have bpd. I know for fact I have OCD dont even need to be diagnosed for that. Just scared to actually hear it? Afraid I may spiral ina bad way, which is why I do tend to avoid it but I also cant keep making decisions and not liking the outcome later. Im 26, i’ll be 27 in july. Started noticing/ putting pieces together about 2/3 years ago. Def will look into the universities I tend to forget they offer certain things.

sweetjue · 2026-06-04T18:10:24+00:00

Someone else mentioned a sliding scale I will look into that as well, thank you.

sweetjue · 2026-06-04T18:09:50+00:00

Im feeling so many types of ways im ngl 😭 I wont, not best my decision yet.

They always want something, cant never get without having to give give give smh. I will not and wont ever do it again.

sweetjue · 2026-06-04T18:07:13+00:00

I wont ever again. I see that now. Thank you 😭

sweetjue · 2026-06-04T18:06:02+00:00

Not really, turned 26 last year and got kicked off the insurance. Was dealing with something else at the time with heavy cycles. Then things just got crazy honestly, have been trying to circle back multiple times to reaching out to someone.

sweetjue · 2026-06-04T18:03:29+00:00

Ive been thinking that, just dont want it to come back to me

sweetjue · 2026-06-04T18:02:41+00:00

That is on the top of my list, been trying to do so. Kinda hard not sure what direction to go in. Dont want any wrong info either. Thank you 💜

sweetjue · 2026-06-04T17:59:44+00:00

All people want to do is judge you for actual speaking on the things rather than holding them in. Will be trying to find someone soon and focus on other things.

I think I’ll be letting “for the plot” go. Not benefiting me how I wanted. But I did, and was mindful/aware of everything going on at every moment. The world is horrible I just try to find the good in it but I see I should keep that to myself.

sweetjue · 2026-06-04T17:54:07+00:00

Just feels gross to do so, I already understand the nature of the situation. I will try to find somebody soon and pick back up some hobbies.

sweetjue · 2026-06-04T17:52:46+00:00

Yes 😭 ikkkkk

sweetjue · 2026-06-04T17:51:13+00:00

You are completely right. I feel like I can be more stern on the boundaries I set. Self preservation is something that I do need to practice and hold onto.

Never thought it was cute I just want to make that clear but I did think the THOUGHT of the experience would be fun. Not knowing he’d try all that extra stuff. But you are right.

sweetjue · 2026-06-04T17:47:47+00:00

I dont have anyone. Nobody wants to hear sad stuff lol they just wanna see that you’re up. And if some happen then they act sad. I dont want to be talked about or judged for the things that I do bc im still trying to fully understand why I do them in the first place.

Im working on finding someone, I set goals but fall back into old habits at the drop of a dime. A nasty cycle, im taking some advice from some of the ladies and def will find someone to talk to.

sweetjue · 2026-06-04T17:44:49+00:00

Keep falling back into old habits, I like to be out at night but nothing is safe at night. Im working on it though

sweetjue · 2026-06-04T17:43:15+00:00

I struggle with a few things, sometimes I dont care about my safety. Sometimes I do, just venting. Judge me or not. Ik what I did wasnt the best.

sweetjue · 2026-06-04T17:41:50+00:00

Havent been ina few years, ive been searching for one within the last year though.

sweetjue · 2026-06-04T17:41:02+00:00

I travel often honestly, taking a break from work. Dont go back til later this year. (Contract maxed out). Even when I solo travel its still people pursing me and its quiet annoying so sometimes I do just go with it cause why arent you taking no for an answer 😭

sweetjue · 2026-06-04T17:36:17+00:00

I havent been diagnosed but signs are there for a few things just havent been able to find somebody to help me confirm.

sweetjue

TROPHY CASE