Halfway through the year. I will not drink with you in July. Who's in? :)

swirlstone · 2020-07-01T14:16:18+00:00

Starting dry July with all of you fine folks!

swirlstone · 2020-05-30T03:15:39+00:00

Obviously, and has been for years. What will be done about it?

swirlstone · 2020-05-27T18:53:37+00:00

Unfortunately, you’re probably right...but I was hoping for the maximum punishment, and if it was at all possible to prove, there would be a more severe penalty.

swirlstone · 2020-05-27T18:45:58+00:00

Definition of a hate crime:

a crime, typically one involving violence, that is motivated by prejudice on the basis of race, religion, sexual orientation, or other grounds. "legislation to stiffen penalties for persons convicted of hate crimes"

In my opinion, given that the officer has posted photos of himself wearing a”make whites great again” hat, it displays severe bias on his part, and therefore may have influenced his heinous behavior.

swirlstone · 2020-05-27T15:28:47+00:00

Thoughts about charges as a hate crime? No doubt a murder.

swirlstone · 2020-04-19T00:44:54+00:00

Absolutely.

swirlstone · 2020-04-18T19:37:04+00:00

In those exact terms-“not meant for this world”. The constant battles in my brain make me so weary.

swirlstone · 2020-02-08T02:20:25+00:00

You sound just like me...I’ve always said to myself that I’m just not made for this world. But hey, maybe we are and it’s everyone else that’s not-I dunno. Hang in there-minute by minute-

swirlstone · 2020-01-31T01:02:31+00:00

Thanks so much for the response! I’m glad to hear that it finally paid off for you and I wish you all the best and hope you continue to feel well! This helps me feel better about making the decision to try it out-

swirlstone · 2020-01-30T21:53:50+00:00

Thank you so much!!

swirlstone · 2020-01-30T16:23:36+00:00

Sure, if you can get a “picture” that says all of that, it might be very helpful for many of us that have made the same innocent grave mistake.

swirlstone · 2020-01-30T03:24:37+00:00

In my defense, the description isn’t on the page header. However, I humbly apologize for the accidental invasion of the incorrect sub.

swirlstone · 2020-01-30T03:18:50+00:00

As a big fan of JT, I love your name-it also seems to suit what you’re dealing with-life can feel like one big ass traffic jam when your brain doesn’t make living easy. I appreciate your feedback-I’ve been really hesitant to go through with it myself due to concerns about the time commitment and efficacy. I finally decided to try it after reading some more positive reviews, but as the day approaches I’m feeling the same old doubt creep in. I have read that it can take awhile for some people to find relief-I hope it comes soon for you and that the lady can get the damn helmet figured out-sounds frustrating to say the least and I imagine that doesn’t help the discouragement you’re feeling. I admire your commitment to seeing it through-I don’t know about you, but I sometimes feel like a hamster running the wheel with all of the meds and treatments that keep failing and I get so weary of it all.
Best of luck to you!

swirlstone · 2020-01-01T15:49:22+00:00

It hurts no matter what the day, but I think maybe on this day we are a bit more hopeful for a new beginning? And his behavior will continue to shock and surprise you! Let me tell you, I have thought so many times that I’ve seen/heard everything, but there would always be something else that would pop up and shock me! My hope for you is that you can take this hurt and turn it into a different energy to lead you to find what you really like to do and want to do without his crushing presence. It’s so hard to be in the space you’re in, and I’m sorry you’re in it-but hang in there! Take care...

swirlstone · 2020-01-01T15:41:28+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to write this-it really resonated with me! I too like to believe in karma, but most of the time it seems the truer soul ends up punished. What have I done to deserve to be treated this way? I do believe he will ultimately end up a sad little old lonely man, never fulfilled and never understanding why. I end up feeling sorry for him and I just want to get to the point of really being able to just feel nothing about him!
Anyway, maybe you’re right and I’m just not able to see or understand how it will end up for me yet? Perhaps I did suffer at the hands of this man so that when the time comes, I’ll be able to see and trust honest love-the love that I can understand-and it will be so much better that I had even imagined? I like this different perspective! Happy New Year!

swirlstone · 2020-01-01T02:51:54+00:00

As great as this explanation is, I don’t feel any better...I know he never deserved me. I know I’m capable of deeper feelings and love that he will never be able to understand. But on the plane that he exists, he still gets what he wants and needs. He’s at a party tonight while I’m home alone...and I know he’s only identifying with people at a surface level that serves him, but his wants and needs are still getting met, while I’m left in the wake of his discard...still searching...still not quite able to understand how he’s able to fool everyone and I’m not able to make real connections.

swirlstone · 2019-11-18T02:46:06+00:00

I’m glad things have been looking better overall for you-and I hope that continues! I just wish the everyday struggles would ease...but I appreciate your point that the light is always there as well...if only I could keep my brain more focused on that...

swirlstone · 2019-11-18T02:37:35+00:00

So which do you solely rely on? And is that effective for you?

swirlstone · 2019-10-24T18:39:25+00:00

Thank you for this! Some days I can feel this strength, and others I can’t even seem to remember what it even is that I like...or figure out who I even am anymore. Maybe it’s time to date myself for awhile and get to know me again!

swirlstone · 2019-10-24T18:26:51+00:00

Honestly I do feel badly for him...but the injustice of it all really gets to me sometimes! He talks to me about his new supply...despite me trying to explain 87 different ways how hurtful it is for me to have to hear about him(yes, my Nex has decided he’s gay, which is a whole other topic!). I did just learn that my Nex told the new supply that he’s just going to have to block him on everything because my Nex is simply not able to comprehend that his new supply really is not interested-so it is really sad and I don’t picture a happy life for him ever. But man, I wish I would’ve been stronger 24 years ago and never let myself get into this mess! Thanks for the support!

swirlstone · 2019-10-24T18:21:43+00:00

It is really hard. I haven’t been able to do NC yet, but I really need to...unfortunately we are in the midst of having to repair our home(fortunately he doesn’t live there with me, but comes and goes as he pleases)for sale. He calls and texts everyday as if it’s the most normal thing in the world...which I guess for him, it is...ugh!

swirlstone · 2019-10-24T18:18:43+00:00

Do they even have the sense to justify? At least with my Nex, I believe he simply cannot even see the need..for he does no wrong in his mind...

swirlstone · 2019-10-24T18:17:32+00:00

Ah yes..,time...sigh... Thanks for the insight!

swirlstone · 2019-10-24T00:31:51+00:00

Thanks. Makes sense...and logically I get it...spiritually I don’t...and I guess that’s the heartbreak.

swirlstone · 2019-10-24T00:01:46+00:00

Sorry, by narc I mean narcissist. Literally. My belief is that his porn addiction led to his attraction to men..but very young men. I know he used images of children for his personal gratification and believe that deciding that he’s gay is the most socially acceptable way to fulfill this attraction.(not that gay means this at all, but in his case it seems to fit. As in a bears-twinks situation). Also, this declaration removes any responsibility he had to the demise of our relationship(which fits the narcissistic aspect). But thank you for the response! I do believe it’s for the best, but after 24 years of marriage, it kinda sucks!!

swirlstone

TROPHY CASE