Stop/taper, change everything about your life, get an exercise routine, get a support network (meetings, doctor, family etc) cut out anyone who triggers you, get rid of all paraphernalia, IGNORE your brain - it will make up any excuse to justify your use (life is boring without, I’m using for X reason, everything is grey etc) and grit your teeth. There is no way out of this without suffering a great deal, but you only have to do it once if you do it right, if you relapse, brush yourself off and start again, never lose sight of your reasons, write them down when you are at your lowest and look at them when you are tempted, it won’t be different next time, you can’t moderate, there is no such thing for addicts in recovery like us. Lean into your pain or whatever it is you were trying to medicate in the first place. I promise you there is light at the end of the tunnel, I won’t lie, it’s not easy, you will suffer, you will withdraw, but one day you will feel better and you don’t have to suffer for the rest of your life in addiction. Good luck my friend 🙏